On September 16, 2003, Yoko Ono, unrepentant about her previous crimes against humanity in the form of her warped rendition of art, perpetrated her latest abomination in a small Paris theater to a crowd of 200.
Yoko, famed for her ability to dodge bullets, ride coattails, and having a singing voice hauntingly similar to that of a garden rake being dragged across a chalkboard, was apparently frightened by the September 11, 2001 tragedy, prompting her to dust off one of her old stage routines from 1964 and molest an unsuspecting public.
As she sat in a chair wearing a long black silk skirt and matching long-sleeved top, audience members filed on stage and, one by one, snipped away at her clothing with scissors. In the end, Yoko was left sitting in her skivvies. The idea behind all this, as Yoko put it, was to show that this is “a time where we need to trust each other.”
When you’re in a Yoko Ono audience and people are cutting away at her clothing, you pretty much have to trust (or hope and pray) that everyone keeps a respectable distance between the scissors in their hand and the straps on her bra, thus preventing her from becoming a weapon of mass destruction.
It’s too bad some brave soul in attendance didn’t stab her in the heart with those scissors, thus putting an end to her special brand of artistic pomposity. Sadly, however, I don’t think anyone would have done it. Aside from the legal ramifications, it seems as though most, if not all, present admired her statement.
As one 18-year-old American stated, “Scissors usually have a violent connotation, but she turns it around to make it peaceful.”
It’s people like this idiot who breathe life into the image of the Ugly American abroad.
Guns carry a violent connotation, but not scissors. The only “violence” inherent in scissors comes from the off chance that you fall on them while running across the room. And how often does that happen? You don’t hear much talk of banks being held up at scissor-point. You don’t see crack dealers with scissors tucked away in the waist of their trousers. Police officers don’t carry them in holsters between the mace and nightstick on their Batman utility belt. And not once in history has an army ever charged across the field of battle wielding their mighty scissors above their heads.
This is what makes her statement about trust so idiotic and pretentious. If she really wanted to prove to her audience that she trusted them, she would have issued them the same type of revolver used by Mark David Chapman to put daylight through her late husband, John Lennon. That is how you show trust in strangers, my friend.
Of course, you also have to keep in mind that this all took place in France, a country known for being nonviolent. Let me be more precise: they lack the will to be violent when necessary, even to save their own hides. They rolled over twice within the span of twenty years, letting the Hun’s marauding armies molest and pillage their country at will, thus dragging everyone else into two world wars as a result.
So it should come as no surprise that the French wouldn’t use scissors in a violent manner. Hell, they couldn’t even use their own army in a violent manner, when they needed to the most!
Doing a performance piece on “trust” in Paris makes about as much sense as going to Jerusalem’s Dome of the Rock and trusting that there won’t be any rabbi’s inside preaching from the Torah. Or trusting that there won’t be any hard liquor at a Baptist picnic. Or trusting that your blind dog won’t read your diary while you’re at work. It was a shallow gesture on her part designed to bolster her own precious ego and reassure what few fans she has that, even though she lacks even a modicum of artistic talent, she’s still a swell human being and worthy of their discipleship because she “cares”.
In years past, critics have often reflected on the “sparse honesty” in Yoko’s art. The only thing “sparse” in her work is talent, and I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that’s what they meant, too.
If Chapman had aimed a little more to the right, we might be lauding him a hero instead of a villain.