Yankees = Microsoft

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I am a baseball fan. I am a fan of the Indians, but ultimately, I am a baseball fan regardless of team affiliation. I have had my guts ripped out by the Indians twice, the Browns three times and the Cavaliers twice. I took some pleasure from Ohio State last year, but even that was somewhat hollow because they aren’t one of my primary teams. Throughout these baseball playoffs, I was really stuck in the middle. As an Indians fan, I hate both the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees.

As a baseball fan I would normally say that I hate the Yankees more than any other team because they represent everything that is wrong with baseball. This series though, with the way it unfolded and the players involved, I hated the Red Sox more. Technically, I was hoping the Yankees could defeat the Red Sox, but in an ideal world, they would have both lost. That is impossible, so in this case, as rare as it was, I was hoping for the Yankees.

Now that it’s over I must now make another difficult decision whether to root for the Yankees or the team that beat the Indians in 1997 for one of the worst moments of bloody gut ripping that I have ever felt as a Cleveland sports fan. I am not going to try and make that decision now. Instead I am going to talk about the Yankees to make up for rooting for them in the ALCS. I was just going to ignore the whole thing, but I heard people talking about this Yankee team being resilient, a dynasty, one of the greatest teams to ever play the game, etc nauseating etc.

How is it that you can even seriously make claims like this? The Yankees are the evil empire. They are Goliath with no David to strike them down. They are Microsoft. That’s right, they are the ghastly corporation that makes money hand over fist because of their monopolistic ways, being managed by the devil himself. They don’t win by playing better than everyone else as far as management strategy and good sensible business. They crush you with their bag of money being as inefficient a player as the world has ever seen.

They have more starting pitchers than any other team in the league. They have holes for about a second and then they fill them instantly and effortlessly, buying players away from the franchises that loved and raised their precious stars for years. That unconditional love shoved back down every fans throat for years to come as their team struggles to stay afloat in markets not called New York. All the while, the Yankees pirate championship after championship. It is the bitterest pill to swallow.

It’s like Netscape. You make an unbelievable product that people love and are willing to pay for. You have a successful business going and then unfairly, Microsoft comes down and starts giving Internet Explorer away for free. They unfairly pirate a company and a product away from the owners that coddled it and the users who have grown dependent on it. They tell the whole world: “Take two bitter pills and call me in the morning because I am going to force you to use what you don’t like.”

So, to call this team resilient, while it may be true, is just purely disgusting. Look at what the expectations are. They SHOULD be resilient. They have a future hall of famer at nearly every single position. They didn’t raise all of them in their farm system either. Like a pack of wolves they come blistering through the gates around the farm in the middle of the night to snatch up all the chickens that the farmer raised. Sure the wolves get fatter, but they have left the farmers’ family to starve. The farmer relied on those chickens for eggs and the wolves just swallowed them whole as a means to feed their ridiculous hunger.

While praise may seem justifiable based on results, it is hardly earned honorably. While I wanted the Yankees to beat that deplorable Red Sox team, I can’t let their crimes go unnoticed. You can say they aren’t crimes all you want, but I know better. So now that I have gotten that off of my chest, who am I going to root for in the world series? I don’t know yet, but in the first paragraph I said that I am ultimately a baseball fan above all else. That status is challenged every day that this game goes on in its fundamentally flawed status.

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About Craig Lyndall

  • Series tied at 2-2, last night’s game was an extra innings nailbiter. I still wish the Cubbies and Sox hadn’t melted down in the final hours when it mattered.

    That’s one thing you can say about the Yankees, like ’em, love ’em, hate ’em, but they don’t choke very often.

    I will always remember 1995 when the Mariners upset them. One of my fondest sport moments and the reason Seattle kept the Mariners here.

  • Eric Olsen

    You are correct that was a quantum level of beauty higher because it was for the Tribe

  • Gonzalez’s blooper off Rivera is second only to 1997 when Sandy Alomar Jr. brought a tear to my eye in the bottom of the ninth to be the first to seemingly EVER get to Rivera.

  • Eric Olsen

    Sing it my NEO brother!! There hasn’t been as much concerted Yankee hating lately because they haven’t won it the last two years, and when Luis Gonzalez hit that blooper to beat that smug fuck Rivera in Game 7 of 2002 I danced down the street tossing flowers in my wake, and of course I don’t care anymore about the D-backs than I do about any other team I neither love not hate.

    And when they didn’t even make it to the Series last year it was manna from heaven.

    But now they are back to the Series, and their vile rapacious, voracious ways – exactly as you describe them – are again rammed down the nation’s throat. I say bring on the cap, level the playing field, kick The Boss in the balls a few times and get those monopolistic sacks of VD-crust out of my face.

  • The Theory

    because I’m a bigger Phillies fan than Cleveland fan.

    by far.

    And Thome left to be with a better team.

  • How could you be a Philly fan with Thome having gone there? Or is that WHY you are a Philly fan?

    I can’t root for guys after they leave my team for more money. It reminds me too much of why I hate this game sometimes.

  • The Theory

    As an Indians fan AND a Phillies fan, there is no worse team in the world than the Marlins right now, which is why I must sadly choose to root for the Yanks.