Name: Crushkill
Weblog: www.crushkill.com
Articles: 45
First Published: Saturday, November 29, 2003
Last Published: Sunday, February 5, 2006
Currently listing articles 45-1:
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Protestors Kind of Motivated to Protest— "The almost fight" and "Maybe you should listen..." among others , have been considered.
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Crazy Neighbor Song— I have a crazy man living below my apartment. I wrote a song about it.
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Hackers (1995), The Crushkill Cut— We all hated Zero Cool and his pompous attitude; his "Hollywoodized" explanations of hacking 3D GUI Unix Servers, and his eventual match with Jolie
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Canadian PM photoshopped in Blair's G8 conference photo— You may notice Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin, who was photoshopped into the "Conference of Vigilance" (G8) picture.
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Picard Vs. Riker : Electronic Battle— ...
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The Adverse Effects of McDonald's Breath on Children— "Maybe I'll have sex under my seat in class!", he giggled to himself with glee, on his way to his first class: PHL055 - "Introduction
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Musky Man Sneers Malevolently While Muttering Moronically— Dave slowly turned around to face whoever it was calling him. As his body gradually turned around, the musky fog enveloped his body as it
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Random Hugs Overwhelm 100 In Iraq— "Before I was sad, now I'm pretty reverse sad", exclaimed a local Iraqi merchant who refused to give his name.
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Rebel Terrorist Cult Leader Dies From Lack Of Happiness— Recently , when we were planning our latest string of terrorist bombings aimed at destabalizing the Philippine government , Salamat seemed distant , as if
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Teenager Rejects Societal Obligations to Not Act Like a Baby— Todd Fischer broke up with his girlfriend last Thursday. Correction: His girlfriend broke up with him.
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Schwarzenegger Finally Reacts to the Timberlake-Jackson Nipple Incident— Through my tight connections with Arnold Schwarzenegger, we get to see first hand footage of his initial reaction to the exposed nipple.
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A Showcase of Underground Electronic Music— I'm proud to bring you the highly talented and interesting non-mainstream electronic music, free to download!
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A Tribute To LUCAS & The Nintendo Powerglove— When we first met Lucas (The Wizard, 1989) on the big screen, we all hated him. He was smug, pretentious and his hair was too
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Sven And Vladimir Get A Little Crazy In Local Hotel Elevator— "Let us drink vodka and celebrate our newfound treasure of American women and have sex all night long!", exclaimed Sven in a hostile yet vibrant
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New Record Label Exclusively Releases Business Card Cds— The desired result of A (music) reaching B (music listener) is now close to impossible. Relying on the belief in an underground music utopia where
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Life Overwhelms Man— "WHY NOT S**T IN MY PANTS??", James screamed at the top of his lungs. He was arguing with his mom on the phone.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger : True American Hero— I can remember at a very young age, wanting to be Arnold. I would sit there in my grade 3 class, day dreaming that my
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Grandfather Con— Fred Jennings looked at his plate. He stared at the lumps of potatoes smothered in a white creamy sauce. He could smell the rancid odor
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Three Friends Lay Down Comfortably In Video Store— Spending their holiday time together, Robbie , Barry and Roddy decided to take a trip to the video store Sunday afternoon.
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Reverse Goth Band Wants Your Help In Choosing A New Name— Yes thats right, a new and amazing group has been spewed out of the bowels of the darkest skankiest armpit of Toronto. And they need
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Researcher Discovers New Method For Lying Down— According to a prepublished report in the electronic edition of the Journal of Medicinal Lay, the new method, known as R278474-LAY, have the potential to
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censorship through education, not software— Free speech is defined as speech which is not hindered, influenced or discouraged by any outside source. Striking a balance between regulatory search software, which
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How to Remix A Song (Leonard Nimoy Style)— A before and after look at the remix of the ultimate Leonard Nimoy Classic, "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".
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63 year old man locks sense of direction in car— Rodney Meren , a 63 year old retired carpenter, returned to his home in Sarasota California from an afternoon of hanging out at the local
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Man mistakes embarassment for dignity— 37 Year old Chris Vanderhoff woke up Friday morning refreshed and eager to get to his new job as an industrial welder for a local
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Commando (1987) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger re-edited— This rendition of the 1987 classic is only 24 minutes long, and has a completely differerent context, one in which John Matrix (Arnold) is no
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Nwodtlem's DVD, Get Crackin' web debut— Ridiculously fast and frantic paced images of Madonna, Bansai and crack heads flash by as nwodtleM's pseudo-speedbass anthem spirals out of control - For a
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Fans Who Held Vigil For Michael Jackson Were Unaware He Is A Pedophile— Michael Jackson fans gathered in cities across North America to burn candles and wave placards in support of the embattled megastar.
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Sweet Retirement— Fun at highschool. Oh the immature impurities which make up the essence of childish innocence.
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Ravers Effectively Speciating Into Extinction— Much like the finch's speciation on the Galapagos Islands, the common raver is also speciating through a process deemed by scientists as "Chemical Selection."
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"Rope Artist" Mistakenly Recieves DHR Rejection Letter— "I just tie ropes in knots and untie them in front of kids , mostly" proclaimed Harry , suprised and bewildered that he would get
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Bill Cosby Spotted in Iraq— Actor and comedian Bill Cosby was found to have been living in Iraq for nearly four months, discovered by an imbedded journalist.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger gung-ho about new movie role— Blockbuster Actor/Politician, Arnold Schwarzenegger, will play Pte. Jessica Lynch when the former PoW's story comes to the small screen.
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Man learns to smile again after 20 years of not smiling— Fred smiled today. For 20 years, the nerve endings and muscles in his face refused to communicate with the emotion-electro signals from his brain.
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"This drawing's a piece of shit," mutters father to wife— After carefully putting away her paints and other various tools, Beth Millton (5) grabbed her freshly painted artwork and scurried off to the kitchen, eager
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Father Lazily Builds Train Set— "Ever since my wife had those kids, I've been too busy working and paying the bills to really care about this passion of mine for
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man fed up with mediocre facial expressions— "You know , every aspect of our western society today seems to be constantly improving or changing for the better; be it technology , science
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Teens Become Fascinated with Garbage— David and Julia are just two teenagers of millions caught up in the latest fad that is sweeping the nation - looking through other people's
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Radical Cleric gains a level, with a total of 1,302,123,002 experience points— Britain's most high-profile radical Muslim cleric, who applauded the Sept. 11 attacks and last week's space shuttle crash, has just announced that he is now
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webmaster arrested for being a jerk lately— According to detectives within the anti-asshole unit , kevin has become increasingly hostile towards other people's ideals and opinions which differ from his own.
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Radical Cleric gains a level, with a total of 1,302,123,002 experience points
— Britain's most high-profile radical Muslim cleric, who applauded the Sept. 11 attacks and last week's space shuttle crash, has just announced that he is now
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Saddam Hussein spotted at local goth club— ...
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Trevor brags about crappy geocities website— "i just finished my geocities website , so now im taking the under construction graphic off , i cant wait until the traffic counter goes
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Dustin (this) Diamond (is) shot (not) dead (true) in front of mother's home— According to early reports from police, Dustin was just leaving his home he shared with his mother Emily Diamond when he was gunned down.
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Milli Vanilli reborn with Toronto digital hardcore label— The advantageous part of the worst music ever conceived and released, is it is absolute PPPERFECT fare for destroying in a digital hardcore style remix
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