Something dark and sinister has crept in through the portals of the internet.
It has bypassed all security to take a ferociously tenacious hold in the depths of the hard drive.
My poor wee computer is in the clutches of a dreaded spybot worm.
That’s right: not just a spybot, not just a worm, but a spybot worm.
Just the terminology alone gives me the heebies. It sounds too much like those worm larvae found in Africa, which nest in your socks and then burrow up through the soles of your feet and hatch under the skin.
And where ironing your socks is a surefire way to kill these little buggers in Africa, I don’t think taking an iron to my laptop will do it much good. Unfortunately. As tempted as I am.
In fact, there seems to be no way of getting rid of this pernicious little bastard (nicknamed W32.Spybot.worm), short of throwing the computer out the window.
I’ve followed the Symantec instructions to the letter, and no matter what I do, my little friend keeps coming back. Like a bad smell. Like the terminator in Terminator 2.
And dear old Norton Anti Virus is unable to repair, quarantine, or delete the infected file. Nada, zip, zero.
I am at an impasse. As they say.
And I know many, many of you will be asking: What the hell am I still doing with Internet Explorer. Ditch it! you will say. Get Firefox!
Well, yes. But. Well.
What if it causes me even more headaches…? And there is undeniably – I admit it – a degree of laziness involved.
Yet if anyone is reading this, and happens to be of a techno-whizzy nature, how about giving a girl some advice?
For instance: How the hell do I get this thing off my computer?
Yours in abject supplication…