Today on Blogcritics
Home » Culture and Society » Woah! Look At That – A Nobel Prize!

Woah! Look At That – A Nobel Prize!

Please Share...Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Pin on Pinterest0Share on TumblrShare on StumbleUpon0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone

This morning I sat down to breakfast and opened a brand new box of Cheerios and as I was pouring the cereal into my bowl… KERTHUNK! Something heavy fell into it, spilling toasty oaty O's all over the table.

Wow. There in my bowl was this huge gold coin with a picture of some old dude on it named Alfr• Nobel. I wonder what language "•" is a character in. Never mind. It's a bigass gold coin and I didn't have to do anything for it, just pour out some Cheerios.

Skipping breakfast, I wrapped that coin up in an old sock and took it with me into town. I was taking some of my kid's toys to a consignment store and then stopping at Joe's Pawn Shop to pawn my laptop before heading to the unemployment office to apply for my benefits. I figured Joe could tell me if that coin was real gold.

When I showed Joe the coin he said, "Man, that's a big coin and it's real gold. I'll give you $2,000 for it here on the spot, but you might want to hold onto it. It would likely have an even higher value to a collector, and the way the dollar is going down it'll probably be worth twice that in a couple of months." Joe's an honest guy.

I told him "thanks" and decided I should keep it, because come next year when our COBRA coverage runs out, we'll need that money to pay the "excise tax" for not having health insurance for me, the wife, and the kid and that gold coin should just about cover the $2,250 we'll owe the government with just a bit left over.

I headed home pretty happy. It didn't even bother me that the old Chevy was smoking a bit and the air conditioning was out again. I hardly missed my Prius that got repo'd last month.

Thinking about it, I realized that I really deserved that coin and someone up there must be looking out for me. Maybe it was President Obama. He's looking out for all of us little people. That's what my rep at the union used to tell me when I still had a job and could keep up with my dues. The kids in school are praying to him now. Maybe I should too.

So thanks, President Obama. I think I've earned that prize. Cheerios is on the menu for lunch and dinner too. Maybe I'll win another coin.

About Dave Nalle

  • Ruvy

    Poor Alfr. has been spinning in hs grave since Arabfart snagged his gold. When you’re dead, you can’t get tired….

  • roger nowosielski

    I would label that a satire, Dave. Not to late to change that.

  • roger nowosielski

    And the funny thing is, it may have just the opposite effect on his dwindling popularity at home.

  • Dr Dreadful

    I would label that a satire, Dave.

    More of a sarcastic rant, really.

  • Matthew T. Sussman

    Wait! Save those box tops, and you can buy the limited edition special birth certificate decoder ring.

  • Christine

    Maybe Obama will give his cash prize (isn’t it a million or so?) to the poor… LMAO

  • Cindy

    Christine is my hero for the day. That is a good one

  • Christine

    And Dave, hope that was not Honey Nut Cheerios..too much sugar!

  • Baronius

    Dave, you have consistently articulated principles of freedom and human rights on a variety of national and international issues. Congratulations on your Nobel Peace Prize. You’ve earned it far more than most recent recipients.

  • Christine

    Cindy, I’ve made you laugh twice now!

    Maybe we can now put Obama on the box of Wheaties with his medal!

  • Cindy

    I like this article, Dave. I agree with both its implications and its finger pointing, though we have very different solutions.

  • roger nowosielski

    I was thinking the same, Christine (#6); that would make him somewhat believable.

  • roger nowosielski

    Have you noticed, Cindy, that Dave is given to a kind of rhythm – reasonable followed by the worst kind of rant?

    Look for fire and brimstones the next time around.

  • handyguy

    Yes, Roger, I’m not sure why Christine added “LMAO” to her comment. It’s virtually certain that the president, already a millionaire from book royalties, will donate the cash, probably to an NGO.

  • handyguy

    Wonkette has cataloged the two extremes of reaction to the news:

    And “Erick Erickson,” some sort of retarded cousin of Robbie Robertson and #1 journalist on top Internet destination is just a little caught off guard because he “did not realize the Nobel Peace Prize had an affirmative action quota for it.”

    The DNC has overreacted to the GOP’s overreaction, and now this whole Barack Obama Nobel Peace Prize to-do is just an infinite regress of hyperbole.

    Cue Brad Woodhouse, DNC Communications Director: “The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists — the Taliban and Hamas this morning — in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize.”

    Brad Woodhouse, no! Can someone please pause the Internet? We are nearing some sort of event horizon of rationality.

  • Christine

    Handy, well IF he does give his winnings to the poor, I will stop laughing and applaud him!

  • Mark Schannon

    I’m with you Baronius. Dave is certainly the most qualified person to win the Nobel Piece Prize. Although I admit I quickly ran to my (generic) Honey Nut Cheerios to see if there was, like, the Nobel Prize for Physics or Medicine, but alas, nada, or as the Spanish say, nothing.

    Makes me thing that if ol’ Dave is eating the Real Thing Type Cheerios, he’s not as destitute as he’s making out.

    And Suss, I got my birth certificate decoder ring, and you’ll never believe it: Obama was born in Cleveland but his mother was too embarrassed to admit it. However, it turns out that George W. Bush was born in Tunisia. Go figure.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • Dave Nalle

    Roger, the article is in the “satire” category AND it’s tagged “satire” and “sarcasm” so don’t worry.

    And BTW, this is a work of fiction. Many details have been changed to protect the innocent. I only eat Cheerios when I’m constipated — a half bowl clears it right up.


  • roger nowosielski

    Cool. At least we agree on this issue, not to mention the premature prize.

    The least they could do is wait another year for signs of relief. So I guess they gave him a rain check. I hope he’ll prove his mettle but I don’t count on it.

  • Baronius

    So it looks like the Nobel committee is in a phase of praising useless, ineffective people. I’d say that it began in 2001, with Kofi Annan. Then you’ve had Carter (for criticizing Bush), ElBaradei (for looking the other way on nuclear proliferation), Gore (for a movie, and not being Bush), and Obama (for also not being Bush). It’s better than their marginally-reformed-thugs phase, off-and-on from the mid-1970′s to the mid-1990′s, but still the prize has less credibility than the Golden Globes.

  • Dave Nalle

    To add to the farcical nature of this, the actual vote on the prize was completed when Obama had only been in office 11 days, even though they announced it now. So they basically had no idea what he would do, if anything, when they awarded it to him.


  • roger nowosielski

    Now, that’s scandalous.

  • Deano

    Not to rain on the anti-Nobel pararade, but can you source that “11 days in office” assertation Dave?

    The info I have on the Nobel process is that invite letters for nominations goes out in September, the nomination deadline is February, a short list is developed by the committee which is then reviewed by the Nobel advisors from March until August, and then in October the Committee makes its selection.

    So Obama must have been put forward as a nominee by February (which is probably where your 11 day thing comes from). I would expect that the first black US president getting to the short-list might be a relatively unsurprising occurrance.

    So its not quite how you’ve painted it….

    However as someone who also hopes for world peace (and is not George W. Bush), (which do seem to be the only real qualifications the Nobel Committee was looking for this year!) I am still waiting for my Nobel in the mail…

  • Glenn Contrarian


    Barack Obama continues the drawdown of forces in Iraq as he promised, he led America (and by extension the world) back from economic disaster, he’s greatly eased the tensions between America and Russia and between America and many Islamic countries. In fact, in the weeks following his speech in Cairo the moderates in Lebanon and in Iran showed their strength in ways that would have been impossible just a year before. Also, Obama led the world in exposing Iran’s second nuke plant – of course the intelligence wasn’t from him, but he DOES get the credit for getting even Russia and China on our side! Could Bush have done that? Please.

    These accomplishments are not exactly ‘nothing’.

    Perhaps everyone should step back and ask what the Nobel Peace Prize is about – it’s about PEACE. And for someone who’s been in office less than a year, President Obama’s done pretty doggone well. He is deserving of the prize.

  • Earl

    Dear Dave:

    the actual vote on the prize was completed when Obama had only been in office 11 days, even though they announced it now.


    The nomination deadline was when Obama had been in office 11 days. The vote on the prize was this week.

    Not that I expect you to take the facts into consideration or even register them as the facts. From what I’ve seen here it’s not in your nature.

  • Baronius

    Barack Obama continued the drawdown of forces in Iraq begun by Bush, he led America (and by extension the world) into continued economic contraction, he’s capitulated to Russia and apologized to many Islamic countries. In fact, in the months following his speech in Cairo the moderates in Iran were butchered by government troops. Also, Obama failed to respond in any way to the revelation of Iran’s second nuke plant, because Russia and China don’t want him to. Would Bush have displayed such weakness? Please.

    These accomplishments are exactly ‘nothing’.

    Perhaps everyone should step back and ask what the Nobel Peace Prize is about – it’s a EUROPEAN OLIGARCH POPULARITY CONTEST. And for someone who’s been out of Illinois for more than four years, he’s still accomplished less than Wayne and Garth. The prize committee is deserving of him.

  • Dave Nalle

    Deano, I think you have it right. The main qualification for receiving this prize was not being George W. Bush.

    And yes, Earl. I’ve now looked up the schedule, which can be found on the nobel website and the final vote was later than the initial selection was. My mistake for relying on what was reported on the morning news.

    But I really don’t see how that fact makes much difference, as the initial selection of the shortlist was still made within weeks of his inauguration and could not have been on the basis of any actual accomplishments.


  • Jet Gardner

    The nomination deadline was when Obama had been in office 11 days. The vote on the prize was this week.

    Earl, you know better than to confuse these people with facts… you silly.

  • Baritone


    “These accomplishments are exactly ‘nothing’.”

    Really! It’s far more than Bush managed in 8 years. He and his overseer, Cheney, took so many steps backward that just getting back to zero would be an accomplishment. Obama has, in fact, accomplished setting the stage for far more progress toward easing world tensions.

    I know, the rightwing hawks maintain that the preferred position is being the bully, being obnoxious, assuming American superiority and a readiness to pull the trigger on anyone who objects – Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran.”


  • Jet Gardner

    This god-damned country has something to be proud of, something that most of the rest of the world is proud of him for winning and acknowledges his efforts to achieve peace by meeting with our enemies and trying to dialogue with them.

    In the midst of that, new reports are flying around the world that Americans faling all over themselves to tear down their own president! What does that say to our international reputation??????

    What’s wrong with us? Goddam it we should be beating our chests with pride right along with our allies WE’RE EVEN BEING CONGRATULATED BY ARAB STATES-but at every turn our own people try to tear Obama down. There isn’t a high honor that this man can earn that someone can’t jump to tear down immediately?

    Look at the ASSHOLES still trying to say he has a phony birth certificate.

    LIKE IT OR NOT OBAMA IS THE FACE OF THIS NATION-OUR NATION and worldwide admiration for the man is one of the most essential key components to our being able to pull ourselves up and repair the prestige around the world that this country USED to have.

    Maybe they’re right after all! Are all you idiots just terrified that a danmed nigger might potentially turn out to be one of the greatest presidents that ever served?

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Baronius -

    Perhaps you should check the facts before posting easily-refuted rhetoric.

    Barack Obama continued the drawdown of forces in Iraq begun by Bush

    On 9/10/08, Bush announced a troop withdrawal from Iraq, all right – of a paltry 8,000 troops to be withdrawn by February 2009. THAT’s your ‘withdrawal’ by Bush.

    he led America (and by extension the world) into continued economic contraction

    unfortunately, most economists (and most people more interested in FACTS than in rhetoric) disagree with you.

    he’s capitulated to Russia

    for not continuing a ‘missile shield’ that was nowhere near operational, to be replaced by one that would be operational much sooner (and operational NOW on Navy ships), MUCH more cheaply, and was more technologically appropriate for the stated purpose. Yeah, that’s ‘capitulation’ all right, huh? “Facts are stubborn things”.

    and apologized to many Islamic countries

    Can you point out ONCE that President Obama apologized to a Muslim nation? Oh – I forget – y’all HATE actually having to fact-check yourselves….

    In fact, in the months following his speech in Cairo the moderates in Iran were butchered by government troops

    Which exposed the cruelty of the Ahmedinajad regime for all to see. I suppose you’d have been happier if the Iranian people hadn’t protested at all? And Obama’s reaction was precisely what we needed to do – because to use the bully pulpit to encourage the moderates would have given the conservatives there much more of an excuse to crush the movement…which is STILL going on, thank you very much.

    Also, Obama failed to respond in any way to the revelation of Iran’s second nuke plant, because Russia and China don’t want him to.

    Man, but you love to ASSUME that he’s not doing anything, huh? But the negotiations are still going on. “Tehran is far more likely to tailor its positions to what will be acceptable to Russia, China and some of the Europeans than it is to heed the demands put forward by the U.S. and its key allies. (Neither Moscow nor Beijing believes Iran is building nuclear weapons, even if they’re sympathetic to Western concerns over the need for greater safeguards against it doing so.)”

    In other words, we may not get everything we want…but we get enough to get the Iranians to behave.

    Would Bush have displayed such weakness? Please.

    Bush would have been MUCH weaker. Why? Because he didn’t understand diplomacy – and apparently neither do you. If you go at a nation and tell them “Do what I say or we’ll invade you!”, is that country likely to do what you say? Especially when you’ve done it to other countries and you’re what their religion calls an ‘infidel’?

    No. That country would tell you to do your worst. They’d spend millions of lives in defense of their own country, but not one penny to give in to your demands. This is called national pride – and I hate to break it to you, Baronius, but EVERY nation has this.

    In diplomacy, you ask/demand/bargain for more than what you need (but not so much that it insults the other party), and they do the same. Sooner or later you get to a point where both give in somewhat, both get less than what they wanted, and neither are happy with the results. The artful diplomat, though, does get what he needs, if not what he wants.

    President Obama has all the tools of an artful diplomat (including the hammer of the military). The only tool Bush had was that hammer of the military – and because of that, every problem looked like a nail. That’s why his reaction would have been weaker – because his only recourse was another war, another trillion dollars from the American taxpayer (and more buckets of blood).

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Hey Jet – dude, cool your jets, man (pun intended).

    Dave – above is the second time I’ve seen a conservative own up to a mistake on BC, and both were by you. That takes courage and honor…and that’s why I like you, even though we go at it hammer-and-tongs. Good on ya.

    “Join me, and we will change the face of America! You don’t know the power of the far-left liberal side!”
    Darth Barney Frank-n-Furter

  • roger nowosielski

    Take it easy, Jet – let’s not such each other’s dicks just yet. (Pulp Fiction.)

    I’m happy for Obama, especially if he’ll donate the prize to some worthy and yes, visible cause, but should I crap in my pants from joy. Glenn too is unaffected by the situation in the states, living abroad.

    I’m sorry, guys, but I am less than enthused with the way our economic situation is NOT being addressed. As far as I am concerned, that’s issue number one. Everything else, gay rights, healthcare, you name it, must be secondary. “It’s the economy, stupid,” remember the old phrase?

    There isn’t a chance in hell anybody can run this country with this division and growing discontent – that’s why such a bitter opposition that everything Obama even touches. People need to see results beyond plain talk, a change of perception even, a sign of success in the economic arena. There has been nothing, zilch, nada.

    Once you should me what became of the stimulus package money – Handy argues of course, “it’s work in progress,” utter baloney – and what good did it do, then I’ll kiss both your royal asses and apologize.

    Not before.

  • roger nowosielski

    suck . . .

  • Jet Gardner

    A well educated and researched comment there Roger… proud of you :)

  • Dave Nalle

    Jet, before you get all stirred up about how we run down our president, spend some time watching the British parliament criticizing Gordon Brown or the fistfights in the Japanese Parliament. We’re positively civil by comparison with most of the world.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Rog -

    I’m here in the states. I have a house over in the PI, but my home’s still here in the states until we can afford to live over there. Come on up to Puget Sound – it’s a lot nicer here than in Tennessee. I’ll never forget at the Memphis airport where the Starbuck’s barista didn’t know what a breve was. Tennessee’s nice and so are most of the people there, don’t get me wrong…but I like it here better.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Dave -

    You’re absolutely right that our Congress normally shows much more decorum…but I don’t think their politicians shoot effigies or plant headstones with the names (or at least the initials) of their opponents, as GOP politicians have done in the past week.

    Nor do they call for a coup backed by the military – that was by a GOP congressman within the past few weeks, too.

  • Jet Gardner

    The GOP is falling all over itself to make sure this president accomplishes nothing during his term and to run down, demean and negate any accolades he gets no matter how much he deserves it.

    it’s an international embarrasment imho

  • roger nowosielski

    What’s there to research, Jet? I’m not going to get lost in facts cited by Bernanke or other enablers. I can understand you all want to believe – and so do I. But understand I’m not coming from the same field as Baronius or others. If I’m pissed, it’s because I care – about you and all the freakin’ others who have lost their jobs and there are no prospects in sight.

    So no, I’m not going to relax in front of the fireplace, sip my bourbon, and pretend the world is rosy. It aint.

  • roger nowosielski

    I don’t give a shit what GOP is doing. I don’t give a shit about THEIR motives. I expect this president to do something about seven million jobs lost. And you should too.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    rog -

    Make it a good scotch and I’ll join you and tell you how very rosy it is – because historically speaking, life’s never been better for the human race.

    Don’t get me wrong – life sucks right now for millions of individual Americans, and billions of individual people in the world. However, in the big picture, it’s never been better.

  • Jet Gardner

    Excuse me for confusing you with the facts about the voting data… my bad

  • roger nowosielski

    I don’t understand the big picture, Glenn, I really don’t. Can’t you see this country is about to fall apart at the seams. Everything points to it – the abandonment of civility, growing general discontent, ever-rising unemployment.

    I wouldn’t take solace in enlightened legislation, if I were you, because when the economic house falls, so will all these fine legal edifices.

    So you had better hurry for that scotch offering – I’ll make it Haig & Haig if you don’t mind, or Glen Moray, 16-year old – while there’s still time.

  • Baronius

    Roger, you’re not like Baronius; you care about people. Cute.

  • roger nowosielski


    I don’t have any antipathy towards Obama or the progressive program. My dissatisfaction is not based on any “I’ve told you so,” or the like – but only on the basis of non-performance.

    And to the best of my recollection, you’re objection to the award was only in terms of foreign policy. Well, I could care less about that and I stated my reason(s).

    So I’m not going to say you don’t care, only you had an opportunity to address what I regard the most important issue – jobs and economy – but you didn’t.

  • Baronius

    Glenn, I can’t find anyone other than Gates who says that we’re ditching our missile defense in Europe for an even better program. And even Gates notes that Russia approves of our decision.

    I can find some economists who think that things will get better, but not many who think that they already are. And did you know that there have been more bank failures in Obama’s few months than there were under two terms of Bush?

    The same way that you credit Obama for a missile program that might be deployed and an economy that might be turning around, you credit him for the possible results of negotiations that are still going on. These FACTS that you espouse aren’t right; they’re not even wrong. They’re hopes.

  • Baronius

    Roger, it’s largely a foreign policy award.

  • roger nowosielski

    What voting data, Jet? I hope you don’t mean November 2008, because if you do, it’s obsolete.

    If elections were held today, I’m far from certain he would beat a viable – I repeat, viable republican candidate.

  • Jet Gardner

    Nobel prize vote roger… geez