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Will Bobby Be the Best of Lindsay Lohan?

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I didn’t know I needed to laugh today until I read the following review of I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay Lohan's most recent movie.

Granted, Lindsay is gorgeous, looking like a cross between Elizabeth Taylor and Natalie Wood, and like them potentially a great actor, but her meantime is really getting mean. A pole-dancing victim of a serial killer who puts her slashed-off finger back together in a restroom with duct tape? You've got to be kidding me!

Take it from Heloise, this is not a "just kidding" folks, this movie really sucks. Since I was on a roll I thought I would go to Rotten Tomatoes to read some of their reviews. This movie seems to have sunk to some kind of all-time-low rating (6)! It is even lower than Bush’s approval rating of 28% or so.  It’s so rotten it’s not even reel.

This serial-slasher film is cutting off limbs, and is also pulling the audience’s leg. While everyone (media watchers) is asking  “How low will the media go?” they should also have Hollywood on its radar, and in its sights. Why? It too is reaching for new lows in filmmaking. You know Heloise won’t be watching this one until it shows up on FOX TV, and not even then.

She had a hand in A Prairie Home Companion which had good reviews. I have to admit that I found it so boring I fell asleep. So, I will take the critics' word that it is a good movie.  Then there was her recent Georgia Rules, directed by Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman). Some of the reviewers said, "Skip it."  It got mixed reviews at best.  It's clear, she is not a bad actress, just a bad role model. A la Anna Nicole Smith, she sees Marilyn Monroe when she looks in the mirror. She is really sending out the SOS smoke signals. My advice: Lindsay, be careful what you wish for.

The latest on Lohan can be found in a cover story in ELLE magazine.

In the interview she states (with a straight face), "I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I've done."  Huh? Was she sober when she said that? Or driving when she said, "I feel like the asshole," when asked about the media maelstrom. ELLE obviously has no qualms milking this cash cow. I wonder how many magazines she will sell for ELLE. In light of the fact that Killed only made $3 million on opening weekend, Extra reports that the cover was already a "go" before the jailhouse thug shot scenario though.

And just think, before this widely panned killer movie, she sat around with some heavyweight film stars, exchanging glances while waiting for the director to call them to set during the filming of Bobby. I did not see Bobby at the theatres, it left too quickly. But I did buy the DVD. I appreciated it, for the most part. That’s obvious to those who read me, because I love everything about RFK and his brother JFK.  So, I wanted to add this to my growing film library. It has some parts that are worth the price, such as the documentary footage, and hearing the real RFK speak at the end is also lovely.

However, in between the opening and the ending stands Lindsay Lohan. She acts just fine, and does not make a spectacle of herself in the film, but she still ruined it for me. Beauty and booty can’t make me like someone. In light of her recent fall in fame among fans, this film just might end up being the last best thing she does in her acting career. Stranger things have happened.  

When I heard how her career may be on the skids I had a dark thought: How come it (her fall) didn’t come before they made Bobby? Then she wouldn’t be in it. I can’t explain why I don’t like her. I like Paris Hilton, even though she’s, well, Paris. So, I am not anti-airhead heiress, but Lohan just rings all my angst bells every time I see her face.

Maybe, in real life, she will wake up as somebody else, and rewind and restart her life all over again. Life does imitate art and if Lindsay is throwing her life away — then somebody ought to catch it; because if it were not so sad it would be funny.

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  • Shannon

    Wow, the girl has made one or two lousy movies and her career is over? For every hit Jodie Foster, Charlize Theron, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close or name any other fine actor or actress has had, they have also been in some huge flops. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone’s movie getting so hacked with an axe and the actress in the film getting hacked along with it as badly as Lindsay Lohan has gotten for this film. Does the girl have problems that need to be dealt with? Definetly. Is she a very good actress. Absolutely. Two falls off the wagon doesn’t mean she’s done for (until she kills someone of course). Give her another chance…to grow up.

  • http://blogcritics.org/writer/heloise Heloise

    It’s not that she was in two huge flops. But one might question her judgement about even signing on for the “Killed” movie. That’s the point.

    Now, she sees herself as “Marilyn” too. She’s not very original.

    Heloise