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Wildcats Invade New England! (News at 11)

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The undefeated Dolphins! 3-0 in the division! They can’t be beat! Wildcat!

The Dolphins are undefeated against the AFC East (Bills once, Jets twice) and 0-4 against playoff teams (Falcons, Colts, Chargers, Saints). I wish there was some way to surmise their talent from those results..

Everyone’s been slurping the Dolphins the past couple weeks because they’ve beaten a Jets team twice that’s completely lost its swagger and a Bills team that didn’t have one to begin with. This will be the first real test for Miami on the season. If they can beat a division-leading Pats team they scare me a little come playoff time. If not, then can we please stop talking about them? Pretty please?

We get it. Ronnie Brown can run. Ted Ginn can return. Joey Porter can hurt. Chad Pennington can hold a clipboard. Bill Parcells can manage generally.

Tony Sparano claims the division still goes through the Miami Wildcats. That’s a weird route. That’s like driving from LA to San Diego by taking a detour through Israel.

Tom Brady should have no trouble with the Wildcats’ three-rookie secondary. I see Randy, Wes, and Julian having big days against a young coverage squad. This ‘Fins team is still a year or two away from being truly terrifying. But by then Ronnie Brown will be seriously injured again, so nuts to them!

Locker Room Fodder: Joey Porter. Past-Dweller.

“My feelings toward New England goes back further — it goes back to my Pittsburgh days, so I felt a certain way after some things came out, way back when,” Porter said. “I was in Pittsburgh for some AFC Championships that I’ve lost to them a couple of times … then, come to figure out a month later, why we lost. So, yeah, I have a natural hate for them — period. And that’s just going to be with me forever. That’s not ever going to change.”

ALL PATRIOTS SUPER BOWLS ARE ASTERISKS! NEW ENGLAND ASTERISKS! THE MASSACHUSETTS STATE BIRD IS AN ASTERISK! SPYGATESTERISK! I DON’T CARE FOR YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM VERY MUCH! CAPS LOCK!

Forecast: Couple predictions. Brady connects with Moss in the end zone twice. Shawn Springs notches a couple sacks. Bill Belichick scowls. And Godkowski unleashes a kick so booming that the Goodyear blimp plummets to the ground like Balloon Boy (Topical AND unfactual!).

Prediction:
New England 27 Miami 23
MVP – LB – Tully Banta-Cain: The Hyphenated One should be in Chad Henne’s face all afternoon; sackin’, talkin’ smack, deflectin’ passes, all that. Ronnie Brown will keep the Wildcats in this one, but the defense will pull us out of it. Tampa Bay two weeks ago and Miami in Weeks 9 and 13? All we need is Jacksonville for the Florida Sweep!

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About Ethan Booker

  • http://www.idiotechnica.com spazdaq

    I actually havent even seen pennington on the sidelines in any games since the injury. so maybe he CANT hold a clipboard.