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Wienie Wonders Worketh Not

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Dude is concerned about his johnson, writes in to MSNBC sex doctor:

    Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of advertisements for penis enhancement pills, some claiming to increase size up to 3 inches in less than three months. But before I spend my money on such products, I’d like to know if anything really works or whether they are just a rip-off. As silly as the size issue may be, I want to feel more confident in my love-making abilities.

Sex doctor says get a grip, so to speak:

    Alas, there are no pills, potions or lotions that reliably enlarge penises. At best, these products are a scam and, at worst, interventions with potentially serious side effects.

    Even surgeries frequently result in disastrous and irreversible outcomes. For example, one of the most common surgeries used to enlarge penises can produce a 1-inch increase in size by cutting a stabilizing ligament and allowing more of the shaft of the penis to protrude from the abdomen. But detaching the attachments a man was born with often leaves the penis wiggling and waggling in ways Mother Nature never intended.

“Wiggling and waggling” he says: is this official doctor talk? Then he offers a colorful analogy:

    But in terms of actual performance, a larger penis won’t help you any more than cool uniforms help a football team.

    ….The clitoris, labia and outer third of the vagina are the most richly innervated areas, while the inner third of the vagina is less sensitive. So if you have 2 inches, you have enough to do the job.

I cut out a lot of boring pep talk stuff about confidence and whatnot – so often pop culture says all that needs to be said in a succinct and entertaining manner: “It Ain’t the Meat, It’s the Motion”

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About Eric Olsen

  • Dew

    Can I get this on a postcard, please?