Currently the Obama Health Care Plan, aka the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, ironically appears to be on life support its very self. (To be perfectly respectful of the acronym PPACA, it should properly be pronounced with its first two consonants stuttered, so that the actual, proper enunciation of it is pah-pah-pah pack-ah.)
However, even though it appears mortally wounded, I will show in this article beyond any reasonable doubt whatsoever, that there are more than ample means of not only saving it, but of making a rather successful and highly profitable enterprise of it as well. I will also show how this can easily be done and exactly how the potential results of it will actually far surpass President Obama’s soaring, absolutely brilliant, logically, superior, empyrean very own rhetoric itself. Mind you, no easy task that.
Under this new and improved Obama Administration plan, devised with its super brainiac, progressive-liberal socialists such as Cass Sunstein and Drs. Donald Berwick and Ezekiel Emanuel; in combination with its ultra-liberal, super brainiac Wall Street wizards á là Goldman Sachs and GE, with people who are even smarter and more competent than Lloyd Blankfein, James Dimon, Jeffery Immelt, Timothy Geithner, et al, et al; again, I will demonstrate for an absolute certainty how It will in essence be a “Win-Win Winner.”
Here’s how, but before we begin, let us backtrack just a tad. As I see it, there are essentially three nagging and seemingly insolvable, major issues which just seem to be absolutely impervious and stubbornly resistant to reasonable national discourse and rational debate, and therefore, simple but effective and thoroughly efficacious solutions. Very quickly; constitutionality, overall cost and the utter myth of so-called, supposed “death panels.” Well let us, dear readers, now address these three.
This of course is proving to be a rather sticky issue which is currently slowly wending its way through our judiciary system; and so far with mixed results. It of course will most likely wind up at the doorstep of the Supreme Court, but when is anyone’s guess. So I choose at this point in time not to comment or speculate on its constitutionality and its ultimate fate.
However please, dear readers, allow me to say that I consider this issue to be essentially a matter of basic human and civil rights, and of fairness, human decency and social justice. So therefore I must re-iterate and re-emphasize the point, “Constitution-Shmonsh-titution!” I must also add “death to the greedy, avaricious and selfish, evil capitalist Insurance companies and the even more diabolical pharmaceuticals and the generically even more diabolic “big” corporations, et al, et al, ad infinitum.
Look here, just as Dickens’ character “Mr. Bumble” after having been found guilty (as sin or is that as all hell?) addressed the judge, “if the law supposes that…the law is a ass, a idiot.” Likewise the Supreme Court if it rules against PPACA (again, pronounced, pah-pah-pah, pack-ah) will be an “ass” and worse. Therefore, ergo, igitur, propter hoc, damn the Constitution and full speed ahead. We need it, we want it, we got to have it; like right now five minutes ago. And again, Constitution-Shmonstitution; it’s our right and President Obama’s gonna make sure we get it – or else!
II. Overrall Cost
Yes, PPACA is going to be expensive but nothing as good and just as free health care, indeed unlimited, free healthcare for every American, is necessarily going to be inexpensive, nor necessarily unworthy of that cost – every single dime of it. It in fact is just a cost we must bear for the sake of human and civil rights, human decency and compassion, and for the infinite social good and social justice it will eventually achieve and provide us.
But it also does not have to be an open-ended expenditure either. That is why PPACA is so necessary as it has been devised. Yes, it has initial costs which tend to be budget busters, but overall, it provides us with mechanisms which will reduce those costs and through the magic of liberal progressive accounting and deep, deep, deep “new math” concepts as well as profound Ivy League and Harvard, super-brainiac theorizing, lucubration and cogitation; it will not only pay for itself but it will also give us a super return-on-investment as well. In a word, we’re going to be rollin’ in the hay with gazillions of ‘greenbacks’. Simply stated, “little in, mucho dinero out.” So what’s there not to like about Obamacare? How could anyone possibly find fault with it?
Allow me dear readers the following analogy derived from the old TV advertisement which I must paraphrase here and only slightly embellish for dramatic effect:
“You can pay me now…” Small bucks for an oil change. “Or you can pay me later…” With of course really, really, really big bucks when your engine explodes because you were too damn cheap to pay a few bucks up front for an oil change. I mean how goddamn stupid can you be?! When everyone knows you can get a lousy oil change for thirty bucks..but do you know how much an engine job costs…well it starts at $ 3, 000 and goes straight up from there.
That of course is bad enough, but what if your so-called frugality causes your auto’s engine to explode so violently that it sends several if not all the pistons and the whole transmission and engine block through the dash and kills your wife and maybe one or more of your kids; and or kills someone else in another car; or harms a pedestrian, let us say, a neighbor who is walking his or her dog and your goddamn crankshaft kills them all, kills the neighbor and his or her goddamn dog too…then what?
Well, are you such a goddamn tightwad, cheapskate, pennypincher, nay, are you so goddamn cheap that you’d squeeze a nickel till the goddamn buffalo farts? That you would kill hundreds of thousands, nay, millions of your own fellow Americans because you don’t want to pay for a lousy “oil change” right now?
And we all know of whom I speak. But if you don’t, then let me state here quite clearly, and not mince words about it either. Yeah that’s right, it is you lousy skin-flint, mean-hearted, mean-spirited, cruel, callous and insensitive, and thoroughly uncompassionate el cheapo conservatives and selfish libertarians too! That’s who!
How can anyone possibly be opposed to such a clear, brilliant investment which will pay such vast and monumental, humongous dividends within only a decade? You need not answer that rhetorical question because we all know that only a conservative and or a libertarian could be that stupid and mulish, that ignorant, mindlessly stubborn and brutish too. And we also all know that only liberal-progressive governance can make that sort of brilliant investment succeed and make it pay off and pay off big time.
Now I know there is a countervailing conservative argument, but as worthless as it is, unfortunately, the rules of debate, fairness and balance demand that we at least examine and scrutinize it somewhat before we completely deny, repudiate and reject it entirely out of hand. Intellectual probity and decorum and at least the appearance of openminded inquiry and debate, demands that we make the effort – besides which we no longer have numerical, overwhelming majorities in Congress. So here’s one of many conservative arguments against. The seminal premise of this one centers around a basic analogy with the following simple question:
Who in their right mind would pay thirty dollars for a substandard, tasteless, nay, raunchy, foul, tepid, all but meatless, burger; when one can buy a tasty, delicious and nutritious, meaty burger for three dollars at any McDonalds or Burger King or Wendys et al. Well of course no one in their right mind would shell out thirty dollars for such a worthless burger – but who says liberals qua liberal progressives qua commie-lib/simp qua pinko-lefty commie-loving Marxists are right in the head or have a rational and intelligent mind to begin with?
That in effect is exactly what liberals mean to say when they speak in terms of their concept of an investment. They may not think that the consequences of their ideas of an investment will cost ten times more than it rationally should and be ten times less in quality or in efficaciousness than initially theorized and envisioned, conjured and planned for at some nebulous “brainstorming” bullshit session served with pizza, lots and lots of pizza with lots and lots of coca cola – and perhaps cocaine too – but if not the latter, certainly with a lot of “pot,” lots and lots of it; but if history tells us anything, that is exactly what liberal investments, with hardly any exception, become.
Another way of looking at it is to bring up another analogy – that of King Midas and the Gold Touch; very simply stated everything King Midas touched turned to gold. And this has been a metaphor for success and prosperity for over 2, 500 years now. Liberals do not have the Midas Touch, but rather unfortunately, they possess what I call the “brown touch.” Cause unlike Midas, everything liberals touch turns to shit; whether it’s the DMV or “The Big Dig in Boston” or Urban Housing Projects (what I call Bauhaus, high rise, ghetto, concentration camps of massive social dysfunction and incubators of massive social pathology) et al, et al, ad infinitum.
(Not to mention such liberal and liberal-progressive catastrophes such as the absolute, complete and total dismal, miserable, abject and disastrous, meltdown failure of our liberal and liberal progressive, statist and collectivist public schools; both intellectually, academically and scholastically on the one hand, and morally and ethically on the other.)
And just as the Roman poet Virgil warned “Danaos dona ferentes timeo.” Literally, I fear Greeks when bearing gifts, so too one must fear and distrust liberals when bearing their cockamamy, so-called investments.
Or to quote Ann Coulter at the recent CPAC meeting, “now Republicans are going to have to repeal National Health Care just so we can find out what’s not in it.”
III. Death Panels
We of course all know that “death panels” are an utter myth and worse; an utter piece of slanderous and totally unfounded propaganda and smear. But it is true, we liberal progressives deal in facts, rationality and in actual reality; while our conservative and libertarian nemeses (that’s a fancy SAT word for evil, vermin, lower-than-the-belly- of-a-worm, scumbag enemies of the peoples what don’t deserve to breathe, besides which they pollute the goddamn air anyway) do not deal in facts, rationality and reality, but in their opposites; in myths and lies and irrational fantasies and baseless propaganda.
So that is why we liberal progressives must speak out and reveal their mendacious, dishonest ways (yet another fancy SAT word here meaning “lying, prevaricating” scumbags which all conservative and libertarians truly are – and that’s a fact, a veritable mathematical given). Well, let’s face facts, the very last end stage of life, by far, is its most costly in America by many factors and by a huge percentage, and for the shortest period in our lives to boot. So what to do?
Well, former democrat and far-left liberal-progressive Florida Rep. Alan Grayson had it only partially right when he said on the House floor, (I paraphrase here) that the Republican health care plan was; one, to stay healthy; but two, if one were to get sick, to simply die. Well to be brutally honest, he got the concept right, but the wrong political party.
You see, we liberal progressives, to be brutally honest, have been publicly saying that Granny MUST DIE for a very long time. The first to publicly state as much, that it was the (patriotic) “duty (of senior citizens) to die” and to die quickly was Governor Richard Lamm in 1984. So again, let’s face facts and have the “cojones” to tell them like they izz, no matter how brutal they be and we appear.
Look here, we’ve also got to face the fact that when Granny and Grandpa start roaming and wondering about the streets aimlessly they become a public-safety hazard and nuisance not only to themselves but for everyone else too. Just think of what would happen if one of these mindless, brain-dead Zombies were to walk in front of your car while you’re tooling around the neighborhood or the parking lot of the local Walmart. Well even though it’s not your fault you’d still get a whole bunch of moving violation, traffic-infraction/citation points against you and your car insurance rates would necessarily skyrocket.
And what about their constantly wetting themselves uncontrollably and falling down and not being able to get up again. Or how about when they drive fifteen miles per hour in the express lane of the freeway or when they drive through the window of the local McDonald’s, not the drive-by window, mind you, but the plate-glass window of the front entrance, in their hurry to get the ‘early-bird’ senior-citizens’ discount, ‘blue plate special’ which by the way, McDonald’s does not have nor offer.
But worst of all, they constitute an enormous bad influence upon our youth, in that they are without a doubt a veritable force for the corruption of the former. How so, one might ask? Because they are so ditsy and or crotchety and ornery, and so personally incompetent and incapable of taking care of themselves that they become extremely vulnerable targets to even the weakest and most bumbling predators amongst us.
So much so, that many innocent, future Rhodes scholars of America, and future Senators and congresspersons and even perhaps, a future president or two or three or more, presidents of the United States of America (and if that were to happen, then the time honored, ages old prayer, “God forbid” will no longer have any worth nor currency because if one of these eagle boy scout, Rhodes scholars should become president, then that will be utter, complete and absolute proof-positive evidence that God really is dead which fact I am sure will tremendously please the liberal, secular progressives and Marxist atheists, as well as Time Magazine and Newsweek too, but enough of this aside, rather back to the main point again).
Whereby these thoroughly innocent Rhodes scholars and idealistic, but easily impressionable young people are simply tempted to mug and ‘roll’ and rob old people for fun and sport, and above all else, especially for profit. Beating up old people is only slightly more difficult than taking candy from a baby, in sum and to wit, it’s no ‘biggie’ – in fact, it’s a veritable piece of cake. In addition if one happens to kill a senior citizen in the process, one will receive a reduced sentence, and especially if one goes before a liberal judge, one will most likely only receive probation and community service and no jail time whatsoever in ‘juvee‘ let alone “hard time” in the ‘big house’.
So the obvious and patently self-evident dirty little secret is that old people simply entrap and force nominally decent teenagers and adolescents into a life of predation and crime. My heart bleeds for these young people and so should yours and everyone else’s. I mean what more do you have to know, old people simply deserve to die! And we liberals and liberal-progressives must simply provide them the means and wherewithal to do so in a humane and thoroughly compassionate way.
Why? Because we’re goddamn liberals and only we goddamn liberals, and we alone and exclusively so, have a goddamn monopoly and cartel-like vise-grip, stranglehold on goddamn compassion and human decency, that’s why!
However, dear readers, for the sake of brevity and the dictates of the confines of space herein, I must close. But do not be forlorn nor wretchedly saddened, nor disheartened and downcast, nor miserably despondent and crestfallen – for I soon will provide you with the “solutions” in Part 34, 059.72 – again, to be continued, and coming soon to Blogcritics (in spite of the capital crime and offense of that very previous, last dangling participle).