I still have a hard time trying to decide which culture in the world is the most odd. Just when I think one wins, someone else comes along to make me wonder again. Take this bloke for instance. He deiced to hike the whole of the UK naked save for some socks and boots. “Why did he do it?’ you may ask. “Is it for world peace, hunger, what?” Well, I’ll tell you why he did it. He did it to bring attention to the fact that the human body is not a big deal. Public nudity should not be frowned on.
“Now, dear Tek, what is your view on this?” Quite simply, that he has a point and in general, I don’t care – until I think about my college human sexuality class. See, my college sex class was a blow-off class. You only had to attend the mid-terms and finals and basically you could guarantee yourself a low “C” at the very least. No one went except for the exams and for the class where we got to see part of a porno and talk to real live gay people. Now mind you, when the day the porno/ talk to real live gay people was supposed to be, the class was full up. So you could say that there were four times you knew everyone would show up to class: first day, mid-term, final, and porno/gays class. Other than that, who cares?
But you see, I read my schedule wrong and I ended up thinking the porno/gay lecture was a day before it actually was. Little did I know that the day I was going to go would affect me for the rest of my life.
See the day that I ended up going to was the “Venereal Disease” day. This was a day spent discussing VD and what had to be the worst part of it:
A slide show.
Now imagine seeing a really bad case of genital warts projected on the wall of a huge lecture room.
Now imagine nine slides of general warts (warning, gross link there). Cauliflower hell. Puke-a-rama.
Let’s just say I was put off sex for several months, and if you mention genital warts, I get a queasy feeling and start to think that sex is awful.
Which brings me back to Mr. Naked Stephen Gough and his plight to make public nudity okay. I wanna agree with him until I think about that case of genital warts that looked like someone had shoved a cauliflower up someone’s vagina. I think about that, and I think about being subjected to that while ordering a nice cauliflower bake at a restaurant and I just get sick. See, Mr. Gough, some of us don’t look very nice naked. It’s not so much that I think it’s naughty as that I like to avoid vomiting whenever possible. So no matter how noble your cause may be. No matter how innocent your crusade, all I can think of is nasty genital warts and I am afraid that I cannot agree with you.
Congratulations on the successful completion of your endeavor. It certain puts a new perspective whenever someone tells me how ‘Ard English blokes are.
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