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Why Men Should Spend More Time in the Bathroom

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Sometimes, vanity can be a good thing. Our appearance is the first thing others are able to judge us by. Our sight and aroma are often things that hold attraction past first impressions, and a lack of grooming makes us unpleasant to be around.

According to research done by lastminute.com, women spend an average of two years of their life getting ready for the day in comparison to the six months men spend. Women spend ten minutes each day showering, thirty minutes applying make-up, twenty-four minutes fixing their hair and twenty-six choosing clothing and getting dressed. The average man spends just eleven minutes getting ready in the five minutes to shower, two to shave, one minute on hair and one minute dressing.

It’s a wonder that women are able to get anything done considering they also spend more than twice as much time doing household chores than men do according to broadband supplier Bulldog. It isn’t fair, of course, but I don’t mind making a beautiful and clean home as long as my man is comfortable grooming himself, for his sake and for mine.

I may not take as long as the average woman does on my hair or makeup each day, but I do spend a deal more time in the shower. I clean my face, shave my legs and underarms, and make sure every joint is clean and that I smell good. I apply deodorant, keep my eyebrows in check, pick out presentable clothing and underwear before a date, and try to make myself the sort of person that someone would be proud to be around. Their nose would thank me!

Men are manliest in our society if they get ready to go out in as short of time as possible. In fact, men who spend extra time on their clothing or hair are often accused of being gay, or metro. They are shamed if they don’t look completely casual and comfortable at all times.

My plea to men is that they please take grooming seriously. Each of you has only one body, and it is the only thing you are guaranteed to keep your entire life, unless sci-fi brain swap becomes a reality. If you notice that your girlfriend smells like apples and her skin is silky smooth, is it fair that your shirt is proudly displaying sweat stains or that the unibrow it would take two minutes to pluck turns you from hunk to skunk in 2.7 seconds?

It is a shame society puts pressure on women to always look a certain way. We are made to be skinny, pretty, gentle and delicate. However, these cultural demands take a lot of time to dissolve, and in the meantime women everywhere have to spend time with someone who wears the same shirt three days in a row. Women like men who do not think deodorant is only a suggestion, and only for athletes.

In the long run, pressures on women will lessen and we will be allowed to look as if we just came out of a cave, and getting ready for work might not even require a toothbrush. For now, men, feel free to bathe every day, keep your hair and nails trimmed, wear deodorant, brush your teeth, and wash your face.

Perhaps a caveman will think you are less of a man because your face isn’t as scraggly as his. But, your girlfriend will prove your manhood when she realizes that she can come within two feet of your armpits. And considering she spent ninety minutes getting ready for this date, doesn’t she deserve a kiss that doesn’t make her gag? Real men say yes.

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About Katharine M. Sparrow

  • Thomas Carver

    like i said, get a life Alan

  • Another article by an OU student? Mother of mercy, will there be no end! Why don’t we just rename Blogcritics as the University of Oklahoma Student Writers Online Workshop?