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White House Asserts It’s not an Intelligence Gathering Agency…Oh Really!?!

Imagine my shock (I’m being sarcastic here) at turning on CNN and listening to Spokesman Scott McClellan being quoted as saying “The White House is not an intelligence-gathering agency.”

Duh?, or should I say D’oh! Did he put Homer Simpson in charge as his liaison to the CIA?

McClellan was apparently trying to excuse or possibly deflect assertions that President Bush was well aware that his own Pentagon experts had already told him May 27, 2003 that the “biological laboratory” trailers, so proudly displayed as proof of Iraq’s alleged WMD programs, were no such thing! But who is he going to believe, his men in the field, Karl Rove, or a bunch of so-called CIA and Defense Intelligence Agency experts he probably suspects all voted for Clinton anyway?

On the other hand, maybe the same censors that proofread the highly edited Global Warming reports did the same with the “WMD Trailers” report. Why would I think that? Because it was reported only a day later that the CIA and DIA reversed their assertions, and that the strongest evidence available pointed to Iraq hiding a biological warfare program!

Excuse me. I have it on high authority from several sources on this very site who are positive that all that stuff had been shipped to and hidden in Syria!!! And again I’ll ask, if they’re so positive it’s in Syria, why didn’t we invade Syria?

Anyway.

McClellan also asserted that complicated reports of that nature, take a long time to analyze. Duh? They released it the next day in time for Bush to announce on Polish television that we’d found Iraq’s WMDs!

Of course we’ll never know the truth, you know. The Bush administration declared the report “Classified.” Of course it is, that’s why he released it! McClellan is also quoted as saying “It’s not something that, they will tell you, turns on a dime!”

Excuse me; I think I have whiplash!

It was also reported that the Iraq Survey Group concluded in 2004 that there was no evidence that Iraq produced weapons of mass destruction after 1991, yet it’s still being denied that the White House manipulated reports as a justification to go to war in March of 2003.

Are you confused? I know I am.

But of course that’s only my opinion!

About Jet Gardner

I like collecting books, music, movies, chess sets and friends
  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    JP-I promise I didn’t copy your homework my friend. This was written before your’s was posted.
    Jet

  • Turk

    Fun in the Tub!

    When you make a mistake, Richard Nixon said to his close friend Millie, admit it: just don’t tell anyone about it.
    That’s essentially what I want to do now – not admit that I made a mistake when, about a year ago, I impulsively suggested that Karl Rove had something to do with the Valerie Plame ‘leak’.
    Actually I want to do a bit more than simply not admit to something.
    In the spirit of modern, existential political honestly, I am not only not going to admit to making a mistake, I am going to suggest that what I did not do was not illegal.
    Not that anyone has accused me of doing something illegal: just that if they do, what I did not do, was not illegal.
    (Politics and good grammar do not mix.)

    We’re dealing in hypotheticals here: I wasn’t around when the White House sprung a leak, so I can’t personally attest to the facts surrounding this famous drip.
    We do have the written reports from those that were there – and Grand Jury testimony and, coincidentally, those reports have now been retroactively declassified, allowing me to share what others knew to be leaks, at the time, without being accused of leaking myself.
    According to those reports, Karl Rove had nothing to do with the leaks at the White House.
    In fact, Karl turns out to have been a victim of those leaks. Or perhaps I should put it a different way.
    When the leaks first appeared (and leaks are like trees that fall in the forest, if you’re not there to see them, they don’t exist) Karl was the one called in to the fix them.
    Karl was essentially – the declassified, insignificant, politics as usual, facts now seem to suggest, a plumber.
    Now I don’t want you to think (wink wink, nudge nudge) that by using the word ‘plumber’ I am in any way suggesting any similarities to the way that Karl Rove functioned in the White House, and the way the infamous Watergate ‘plumbers’ functioned.
    No: they are very different.
    Karl has his plumber’s license, and Nixon’s plumbers were undocumented aliens that the White House hired to save a few bucks.
    Poor Karl, he was just a hired hand, called in to fix a few leaks.
    You know how it goes: you see a little water damage on the ceiling, a few drips, and so to be safe you call for the plumber.
    The plumber would be just as happy tightening up a few screws, adding a nut and bolt here and there, and getting his $250. But when Karl arrived, it was immediately apparent that there was a hidden leak, the source of which had to be found, or else.
    So Karl got out his tools and started looking.
    He dug through the ceiling of his office, and into the office of Scooter Libby: though he found a big pool of water there, the source was still hidden.
    So he dug through the wall of Libby’s office and into the Vice President’s office: though the water was a lot deeper, the leak did not originate there.
    So he dug through the floor of the Vice President’s office and, finally, he found the source.
    There was the President himself, taking a bath: laughing and splashing about, playing with his GI Joes, and unknowingly causing a little water to cascade over the tub and onto the floor and.. well, you know the rest.
    Nothing illegal there.
    Just a lot of good clean fun, and a little innocent, inadvertent leaking.
    Or course Karl and Scooter and Dick couldn’t talk about the President taking a bath. The press would have had a field day with the image of the President and his GI Joes.
    So they protected him.
    The President did not even know that he was the one responsible for the leak. He couldn’t imagine anyone would care about his bathing habits.
    So when days later, he told the plumbing press that he would not tolerate any leaks in the White House, he meant it.
    Informed sources at the White House have now told me, on condition of anonymity, that he is very sorry for all the trouble that he has caused, however inadvertently.
    The President has now had all the tubs in the White House removed, replacing them with enclosed shower stalls.
    And just to be safe, the President has issued a secret order that all classified information that is inadvertently leaked, for any reason, is to be considered declassified as soon as it is revealed.

    So okay, I will admit that when I leaked the story of Karl Rove leaking the story I was not exactly leaking the truth.
    I didn’t know the truth, at the time.
    But now that the truth has changed, I stand by my story.

    -from the column “No Mand’s Land”, published weekly in the Plymouth (MA)Bulletin

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Oh THANKS A LOT Turk! Now they’ll make me testify at the congressional hearings because you decided to post your little confessions on MY blog.

    Bravo my friend, bravo.
    Thanks
    Jet

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Well folks, I feel like a complete fool. Now I see why I’d been asked if I’d seen this week’s. Real Time with Bill Maher.

    George Bush couldn’t possibly have leaked top secret information to the press for one obvious reason. Cheney has made it clear that W’s not allowed to see any top secret information!

    I feel so silly and kind of foolish for not realizing that sooner!

  • Nancy

    The infantile mentality of this white house continues to astound me. When confronted with wrongdoing, lies, or contradictions to their own pronouncements, like a bad little kid, they just stick their fingers in their ears, squinch their eyes shut, and yell “LALALALALALA” at the top of their voices, counting on the repetition of denial to either confuse or repulse their hearers & get rid of them. Then they go right on telling lies & cheating, only to repeat the whole process of denial, etc. over & over & over. Let’s see now, how many items has the WH had to deny over the past 6 months, let alone the past 6 years? These people are not just lame; they’re seriously sick. Mental, that is. A combination of Bart & Homer Simpson & the evil, venal Mr. Burns. Pity W doesn’t have room for a Marge or Lisa anywhere in his menage, but honesty & straight dealing wouldn’t last very long with that crowd anyway.

  • Bliffle

    Thanks to Turk I understand everything.

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Nancy #5, You know what they say, if you tell a lie long enough, eventually it becomes the truth.

    Thanks for your input

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Bliffle #6 I’m glad you do, ’cause I sure don’t!

  • http://jpsgoddamnblog.blogspot.com JP

    Jet, don’t worry about Syria, they’re probably next in line after Iran!

    I find this poll result *very* interesting: “In a telling reflection of the erosion in public support for Bush, 54 percent of respondents said they did not trust him to ‘make the right decision about whether we should go to war with Iran,’ while 42 percent said they did trust him to do so.”

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    JP #9, Here’s something you may have considered. Bush may have figured out that his approval rating seems to go through the ceiling when we’re at war.

    What’s a few hundred lives, so he can get it back over 50 percent or higher, and get more flag bumperstickers on cars?

    Without a war to bolster the republican party (and Haliburton’s bottom line) the democrats might just succeed in taking back congress.

    Actually I don’t think he’s that irresponsible, but I bet it’s in the back of his head!

    I know one thing, his oil buddies are having a ball, and will do better soon.
    Here in Ohio gas is at 2.89 and they’re expecting it to go as high s a dollar more!

  • http://www.elitistpig.com Dave Nalle

    It was also reported that the Iraq Survey Group concluded in 2004 that there was no evidence that Iraq produced weapons of mass destruction after 1991, yet it’s still being denied that the White House manipulated reports as a justification to go to war in March of 2003.

    This may be true, but Iraq unquestionably did acquire WMD materials after 1991. What exactly were they doing with the Anthrax and toxic chemicals they bought?

    Dave

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    I’m of the opinion that he used them on his own people, and on Iran when they tried to invade.

    In any case, if they’re not in the country there’s two questions

    Do they exist, or do only the reports of them exist?

    If they exist, why haven’t we found them or gone after the country where they’re stored, as they still pose a danger to our troops?

  • http://www.elitistpig.com Dave Nalle

    That last one is the $64000 question, Jet. It seems very, very clear that they are in Syria. So why are we giving them a break? Surely not because the poliical opposition would whine?

    Dave

  • Bliffle

    Dave: “This may be true, but Iraq unquestionably did acquire WMD materials after 1991. What exactly were they doing with the Anthrax and toxic chemicals they bought?”

    Don’t know. But it may be true that if those stories were subjected to the same research and scrutiny as the famous Centrifuge Aluminum Tubes that we heard so much about, the result might be the same: bogus. When one has to deal constantly with refuting lies of another person, say your spouse, you get Refutation Fatigue and quit doing it altogether and just assume everything they say is made up. Remember the story of the little boy who cried ‘wolf’? Wouldn’t it be terrible if we got Refutation Fatigue with our government and then a REAL threat occured and we didn’t believe what we were told?

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Dave #13. I’ve been doing some pondering of my own, and it seems that if the U.S., or a coalition did bring down Syria, or Saudi Arabia, it’d let loose chaos across the whole region.

    Then again we thought the same thing would happen if Iraq were to be taken out.

    We’re here sitting at our comfortable keyboards, trying to highmindedly try to solve a problem that’s centuries old… How to get peace in the Middle East.

    Can you comprehend, can you imagine if the whole huge are would become suddenly stable and peaceful. With the resources in the region at their disposal, they could rule the world!

    The only thing stopping them is that they’re too busy trying to kill eachother. Maybe that’s why we haven’t really tried???

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Bliffle 14, which brings back the question: Do they exist, or do only the reports of them exist?
    I like how you fleshed that out
    thanks

  • http://www.elitistpig.com Dave Nalle

    Bliff, I think your refutation fatique is a very real concern. I’d take the issue up with those who insist on questioning, challenging and just straight out denying every thing the administration does and says, often with very little reason or logic behind their actions except for partisanship.

    Dave

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Dave, I respect you, and your opinions sir, but aren’t you doing the same thing in reverse, simply, and blindly swallowing everything the administration dishes out whole without tasting it first?

    I guess I’m guily of bullheadedness too…

  • http://www.elitistpig.com Dave Nalle

    I’m not suggesting blindly swallowing everything the administration says, I’m just suggesting that it shouldn’t all be pre-judged.

    Dave

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    With no sarcasm intended, Dave, your absolutely right.
    There are as many right-wing hypocrites as there are left-wing hypocrites (probably, myself included)

    To suggest that yours or my political or personal point of view is the only correct one is wrong, but that’s how we human beings operate.

    The thing to do is to be flexible. A tree branch that doesn’t flex will eventually snap off. That’s true of viewpoints too.

    Thank you my friend…
    Try to forgive my next post, I beg you. It’s in the works now.
    Jet

  • gonzo marx

    i, for one will NEVER give up my Right or Responsibility to Question or Challenge our elected Representatives…

    remember, whomever mkaes the Assertation is the one to whom falls the Burden of Proof

    recent history, and the Facts gathered so far, show many instances when this Administration was either grossly incompetent, or outright lying

    either way…good Reason to Question and Challenge

    nuff said?

    Excelsior!

  • http://jpsgoddamnblog.blogspot.com JP

    “I’m not suggesting blindly swallowing everything the administration says, I’m just suggesting that it shouldn’t all be pre-judged.”

    Dave, aren’t you pretty skeptical, given the tendency for this administration to be secretive and to stretch the truth to the limit of its tensile strength?

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Re: #21…Absofuckinlootly my friend. Never lose your edge, it’s great!

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    My friends, my sister just called me to tell me my father passed away at 6:30 this evening, so I’ll leave you to fight this out on your own for about a week.

    More when I can
    Jet

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Gee, I hope McClellan didn’t resign recently because of his little statement that became the theme of this editorial!?!

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Has anyone noticed that McClellan’s replacement may come in the form of a commentator from Fox News? I wonder how much longer Fox can get away with their “Fair and Balanced” logo?

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Has anyone noticed that McClellan’s replacement may come in the form of a commentator from Fox News? I wonder how much longer Fox can get away with their “Fair and Balanced” logo?

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    NEWS FLASH-As predicted in #22 Fox News’ Tony Snow has been appointed Bush’s new press secretary!

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Well my friends, today we wave a fond farewell to poor Scott McClellan, and say hi there to Fox New’s coverage of all White House affairs.

    I hope Tony Snow that those reporters he’s going to be facing are a little bit different from his live audiences at Fox.

    Stay tuned for carefully written “fair and balanced” updates as they become available

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    ArchBingBat asked if the only thing I write about has to do with sexual orientation, Hmmmmmmmm?

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    I’d say that the events of the last two weeks would prove the title of this piece conclusively wouldn’t you?

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    So I guess the question is, when is Bush ever in the White House to gather intelligence???