In the February 19 Wall Street Journal, feminist writer Kay S. Hymowitz wrote a disjointed article where she argues that too many men in their 20s are living in a new kind of extended adolescence. She says that single women have no one to marry (an astonishingly odd statement from a feminist, but moving on) then adds,
Women are the first sex. They graduate from college in greater numbers (among Americans ages 25 to 34, 34% of women now have a bachelor’s degree but just 27% of men), and they have higher GPAs. As most professors tell it, they also have more confidence and drive. These strengths carry women through their 20s, when they are more likely than men to be in grad school and making strides in the workplace. In a number of cities, they are even out-earning their brothers and boyfriends. Still, for these women, one key question won’t go away: Where have the good men gone? Their male peers often come across as aging frat boys, maladroit geeks or grubby slackers…
She slams “shallow” young men responsible for an entire generation of women being single and miserable.
She ignores the fact that yes, while many young males are spending their 20s playing video games in their parents’ living room, others are starting companies, becoming doctors, and forging careers. Only they’re doing it single and this curiously seems to have infuriated the feminists.
I’m bringing all this up because while preparing teenagers and college students for adulthood is my mission, I have two successful sons who just shake their heads when their mother mentions marriage. As we’ve been married forever, and they know how much their mother and I love each other, their ambivalent attitude about marriage was puzzling. But it’s becoming less so. Six months ago I heard Gloria Steinem in a speech to college students blame white men for all the world’s oppression of women, conveniently forgetting that black- and brown-skinned radical Muslims were throwing acid in young girls’ faces while white males were in Iraq and Afghanistan attempting to end their repression. But that narrative didn’t fit with the feminist narrative.
Now we have Kay Hymowitz bemoaning what appears to me to a feminist victory. Men have been driven out of college, graduate school, and corporations by a variety of laws while feminists have dismissed men as useless. Here is just a brief sampling of the pleasant things feminists have said about men in the past:
“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” – Gloria Steinem
“I wish someone would have told me that, just because I’m a girl, I don’t have to get married.” – Marlo Thomas
“Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors.” – Evelyn Cunningham
“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.” – Roseanne Barr
“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a b*t?h, okay.” – Madonna Ciccone
“Women’s chains have been forged by men, not by anatomy.” – Estelle R. Ramey
“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” – Gloria Steinem
“I think, therefore I’m single.” – Lizz Winstead
“Several men I can think of are as capable, as smart, as funny, as compassionate, and as confused—as remarkable you might say—as most women.” – Jane Howard
“Men weren’t really the enemy—they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.” – Betty Friedan
“To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.” – Lily Tomlin
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” – Isadora Duncan
“Men are irrelevant. Women are happy or unhappy, fulfilled or unfulfilled, and it has nothing to do with men.” – Fay Weldon
“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” – Gloria Steinem
“Husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.” – Kay S. Hymowitz
And she wonders why men are passing on marriage. My question is, why do these women even want marriage? When did they decide marriage wasn’t a battlefield? Kay’s final recommendation is that women go to sperm banks, and get some DNA “without the troublesome man.” That’s great —an entire generation of fatherless children raised by women who when they are at their wits’ end will have nobody to blame but themselves.
It seems these same feminists who castigated the idea of marriage have now changed their minds. Only, their choices are incredibly limited. The slackers living with their parents are having too much fun to get married and the future male doctors and CEOs are too busy to put up with their nonsense.
Dads are supposed to show their daughters what to look for in a man. If, somehow, their daughters have gotten the strange idea that honor and integrity and fidelity in a man aren’t to be valued, then honestly, either dads aren’t doing their job or their mothers have gone over the deep end in the name of feminism.
The bottom line is that when we teach our children to devalue the other sex, we will always accomplish our mission: our children will wind up alone.