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When You Leave The Internet, Do You Die?

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Those who get into porn with glee would never know the name of Angela Devi. With so many entering and leaving the industry, one girl from the next is hard to personally care about. For many of her fans, there has been an unusual mix of mystery and heartbreak at the swirling rumors that she has passed away. However because of the anonymity of the Internet, does anyone really care if a person suddenly leaves it?

A search on the Freeones board (where she was known to post) reveals at least a few threads on her and a couple or more threads on her death. Moderators who have connections to her family and have made contact with the respective companies she has worked for have confirmed her passing. Official word has been restricted, apparently until the family feels the need to release the information.

There’s all kind of speculation as to what could be the reason for her death, or even if her death was merely a rumor from her foes in the industry. Porn is entertainment, and because it does make more money than even the mainstream movie industry, it’s bound to mess with the heads of a few of its performers. That being said, Angela’s disappearance from the Internet has caused people to believe she’s gone from the world for good. But if she was only a mere user of the information superhighway, would you care just as much?

I’ve had friends come and go on the Internet, and most of the time it’s been explained that they use it for boredom or for someone to talk to. It’s like automated confession to speak into the keyboard, enter your whole life with a few strokes, and then at the end click on the X button to make it all disappear. Sometimes in these stories, you begin to care. But that seems to be the point at which they won’t cross the line, the fear ironically in that whole deal is also death.

I think the Internet has become the new planet earth. Living and breathing creatures don’t exist in flesh and blood, but on computers with IP addresses. To disappear, all one has to do is remove themselves from the computer and they’ll never know you are gone in the first place. Whether you are still alive outside the net or dead, the status will never be known to those with whom you’ve talked.

The possibility that there could be a connection made between computers is sorta like a blind date. The questions will always be there: Is she ugly? Am I ugly to her? Is he a killer? Is she a killer? Is she a man? I would think that if you want to know someone, you would take the risk of possibly being wrong and learn from it. It’s either that or you simply bring a friend along to be sure.

All I know is that if people really think of me as nothing more than an IP, then perhaps it’s not worth the cost of the bandwidth to try and make friends on the net.

About Matthew Milam

  • ChicagoGuy/theeontheoffwing

    Tonight is a sad night …

    In case any of you did not know, Mike Jennings, see his post up above … passed away, so I just wanted to inform you all.

    I just found out tonight.

    Mike was a thoughtful, caring, earnest person, who like me shared a love for one Angela Dhingra. He was working on a tribute page to her on oddlyenoughforum.com. He was a moderator on that site.

    As a note, I remember when Angela passed away, a few months later I noticed a message on lukeisback.com. It said that he knew Angela before she got in the porn business … and that “she was a very nice girl”. The post was authored by a Mike .. I’ve often wondered if it was him. It seemed to be a post that was akin to his warm, genuine personality.

    For me tonight, one yr ago … I stood in front of that house Angela comitted suicide. I’m sure it’s as dark and quiet as the night she left us all. Tonight is a poignant night for me.

    So folks, two good people have left us …

    Munch, what’s with the hate Brother? I think the vitriol you just spewed out is speaking more to where you’re at man, then anything else. Angela was a living flesh person .. you wanna hate on her? Hate on us, for affections to her? For those of who grew to like one Angela, if you think it was all about as u say .. “jacking off”, you’re off brother … way off. And for speaking for me, Mike, Angela’s friends, and a few others who posted on this page, WHO I PERSONALLY KNOW OF … u know something? … I kind of resent that. Your remarks are hideous, mucn more than anything you were trying to cast as.

    Nice job Munch…

    Peace and out

  • Laura

    Please stop speculating. Bibianna is my sister-in-law. She did indeed find her best friend dead. She was the first visitor when my daughter was born in 2005. We spent many holidays with her as her family was out of state. Please stop the disrespect and let her rest in peace.

  • ChicagoGuy/theeontheoffwing

    Laura, I hope that I didn’t come across as disrespectful. Please understand, that Mike’s passing kind of stunned me, as I had a growing friendship with a genuine person who happened to share with me a deep liking for you know who. Having just learnt that, combined with what Munch typed in above, just kind of set me off in a bad mood.

    Please understand also, that occasionally Angela’s most devout fans are gonna make a post now and then. In fact, it is on Blogcritics that I and a few others found a place with which to make sincere posts, albeit sometimes awkward and overly emotional.

    Maybe … some of us (me for sure) posted a bit too much, but you should know that this was not an error in character, but instead a grasping at air for some sort of balance and sense that many of us could not find in Angela’s sudden passing. A sudden, utter horror really, a deafining numbness for me …

    As I conclude, I’d like to say that I am sorry for what Bibianna went through. I mean that; it’s not just typed words.

    My worst fear before I post this, is that tomorrow when I wake up, I’m going to think I came across as some sort of freak … seemingly and uknowingly bathing in a self-pretentious mind-set, cloaked in vanity while allegedly posting under the typed words of supposed sincerity and sorrow.

    Just know that I’m sincere despite all my failings … if nothing else, I am that … sincere (smile).

    My warnest regards to you and all others…

  • Chicagoguy/theeontheoffwing

    I admit it, I’m a bit drunk (13 shots of Gin last nite), but I just wanted to say that today would have been Angela’s 36th B-Day! As much as last nite was as much as one might expect, never did I forget that this was/is Angie’s B-Day! While there might be those who not understand me, let may say what I undertand so very well about myself before I go to sleep .. that Angela, how I always wanted to hold your hand and kiss u so much! Peace to all .. I’ve nothing to hide nor be ashamed of as I stand at the top of something I not understand but yet very mcuh feel! How I wanted to say that for the last several Friday Nites!

  • nick

    @crocodile hunter guy you used quotation marks very stupidly

  • theeontheoffwing

    Angela, 6 years since your passing, how we all miss u! You left way too soon! Damn .. the pain you must hae felt 6 years ago almost to these hours … if only we could have know, if only we could have helped! The shock and pain of your leaving never leaves completely … how we wish it could have and should have been better for you!

    On the behalf of Mike Jennings and I, we miss you always!

    Theeontheoffiwng

  • pisces

    Wow…
    Hats off to guyz like Chicagoguy , Damare and Paul..I am short of words to describe what i feel when i see your devotion for a lady you never met but knew through her pictures…by the way I respect that lady as I belong to the same city and religion as that lady from India….you need guts to be what she was , when you belong to such a conservative family like ours !! Its been weeks I have been trying to research over the truth of her death mystery. I can write all day telling about how much dispair and sorrow i go through thinking of her situation when she commited that suicide if at all she actually did. The house which i only saw on street view does look horrific and overly calm to be pleasant to a bubbly girl like she was. Well , I still am wanting to find out her truth though my gut feeling says poilce reports can not be faked and if at all its all a well planned set up from her family and freinds to let her out of her misery then its next to impossible to hear from her close ones about it.
    So it falls back upon us crazy fans of her to find the truth ….Anyone has any news about her and I am ready to follow, the best person shall be kapil Dhingra his brother who can tell about the truth. unless i get a solid proof unleashing the truth i will keep having sleepless nights….please help

  • ChicagoGuy/theontheoffwing

    Pices,

    Thanks for your thoughts about what we felt, the heartbreak etc… Yes, we all had (and have) feelings for one Angela Dhingra. It’s over 6 years since her passing, but when I have the moment to think about that time period, it brings back a poignant memory that stings.

    Angela is fading from the web landscape with time as it is now more than ever crowded with models, but no matter how hot they are, Angela was and always will be the “1″ for me.

    See, I truly beleive, that for every guy there’s that certain set of girls on this planet … that there’s just something special about them. It could be any girl, a model, a regular girl, anyone. What I’ve found sadly frustrating over these years are those people who can’t fathom that anyone could like Angela (in the real sense) … but to that I say, she was a girl like any other female. Why is it that some guy couldn’t really “like” her? Huh? What logic stands on solid ground that holds that as a result? To imply that it’s an impossibility to genuinely like her, is to deny Angela of her very womanhood. And to do that, is like playing God. Who’s to say what is what?

    To me, Angela wasn’t T&A .. SHE WAS JUST ANGELA! And I liked that girl!I just happened to see her through the Internet.

    Was she Confused? Depressed? Took the wrong fork in the road? Ok, we can take that as legitmate discourse, but to convey that there was this sort of “IMPOSSIBILITY” that any guy could like her just because of the path she took, is downright fallacious.

    Angela was a hot girl (SMILE, that is true!!), but to me and the others, she was also a lovely girl of tremendous charisma and personality, that I also know, I would have had the biggest crush on, say in high-school! And yep’, I’d bet some serious money that deep down, she was pretty darn smart. Don’t let the gregarious, silly nature of her vids and pics fool you.

    Pices, I liked her soooo much!! Some of the most passionate moments in this guy’s life, when all is said and done with me, is that coming to be aware of her in the first several weeks of first seeing her. ANGELA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll never EVER, EVER, EVER .. forget that feeling!! You were … You were the “1″.

    Ok, so, with all that said … it’s time to wish Angela Dhingra a Happy B-Day!

    HAPPY B-DAY ANGELA, I/WE MISS U! You were the loveliest … your warmth, your smile.

    Angela, no matter where you are, I love you very much. I will never forget your B-Day, even though I’d love to have whispered that in your ear! I will never forget you; you are always alive in my heart!

    God … bless one Angela!! We miss her dearly! She left way toooooooo soon!!

    OMG …Dear Lord!!!!!!!!

  • ChicagoGuy/theontheoffwing

    Bout the time, I say something real slow … cover these eyes, if you catch me on ease on low … Don’t get too caught up in what I say, just that time, Angela made me feel that way…

    Singing throught the giants .. Sonny Boy, Elmore, Joe

    “Gypsy woman said to me, one thing you must bear in mind, you are young and you are free but damned if you be deceased in your own lifetime” … Marcy Levy

    God bless to all as I fall asleep!

  • Gnosis

    Hmmm….yes, Angela’s death is quite fishy and sounds quite orchestrated. According to mylife.com, Angela S. Dhingra (Angela Devi presuming) is:

    1.) 47 years (born 1965)

    2.) Currently resides in Phoenix, Arizona

    Link.

  • http://damare-eyesofthegod.blogspot.com/ Damare

    Seven Years Gone.
    Angels Ascend, Demons Fall
    In The End, we all return to the way things were.
    Fated.
    Doomed.
    What could possibly matter in an existence such as this?
    Love?
    Moments?
    The things we remember, or the things we are forced to forget?

    What I remember are those eyes, that smile, the sentiment hidden behind her delicate grace.
    What I won’t ever forget…is how she made me feel – & the anticipation of knowing she would always be there to welcome me “home”

    Until the day she wasn’t

    Seven Years Gone.
    Seven Years spent in a state of Loss.

    Let today be her Day of Resurrection (its Easter after all), – if only for the sake of reminiscence; if only for the sake of our broken hearts.
    Rise my Queen!
    Rise one final time…
    & let us in
    to the Secret of Your Wonder.
    Let us know, everything will be alright

    Love Eternal,
    D

  • ChicagoGuy/theontheoffwing

    Damare,

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful poem.

    It’s a wonderful statement from your heart. I don’t think it could have been said any better than that, which you just wrote.

    It’s been a long seven years since her passing, but time cannot erase the deep affection we still feel for her.

    We all miss and love you very much Angela.

    How we hope that your spirit is awash with the joy and peace that you most deeply needed.

  • Damare

    WHERE are our 7 years of comments in tribute to Angela??? Please bring them back, – as they are a remembrance of all we have experienced in sharing our thoughts on a woman many of us care very much about.

    • http://www.RoseDigitalMarketing.com/ Christopher Rose

      I’ll chase that up, Damare; some comments are taking their time being imported into the new site.

      • Damare

        Apparently the “chase”, has slowed to a crawl.

  • Damare

    Since we seem to have lost all our words (& wonders), we have bestowed in honor of our beloved Angela over the past 7 years, I thought it fitting to at least revisit some of what helped gets us through our deep sadness, – & reconnect thru a shared understanding of what this very special woman meant to us.
    This is a repost from what I had written on the anniversary of her passing:

    For Angela,

    Seven Years Gone.
    Angels Ascend, Demons Fall
    In The End, we all return to the way things were.
    Fated.
    Doomed.
    What could possibly matter in an existence such as this?
    Love?
    Moments?
    The things we remember, or the things we are forced to forget?

    What I remember are those eyes, that smile, the sentiment hidden behind her delicate graces.
    What I won’t ever forget…is how she made me feel – & the anticipation of knowing she would always be there to welcome me “home”.

    Until the day she wasn’t…

    Seven Years Gone.
    Seven Years spent in a state of Loss.

    Let today be her Day of Resurrection, – if only for the sake of reminiscence; if only for the sake of our broken hearts.
    Rise my Queen!
    Rise one final time…
    & let us in
    on the Secret to Your Wonder.
    Let us know, everything will be alright

    Love Eternal,
    D

  • Damare

    In Honor of Angela…
    I don’t know if anyone who used to frequent this blog continues to check in or not. It seems not. But this isn’t for you. This is for Her.
    Today is the anniversary of her loss. Eight years. I’m not going to write some big mushy tribute to her. I did that last year. Instead, I write this only for the privilege of still being able to write about her at all. And maybe in the hope that somewhere, on some heavenly unseen plane, she is able to read the sentiment behind these mortal words. Simply put, I miss You. And every day I remember. I’m sad by your passing. But fulfilled in having experienced the all-consuming wonder that was You, and IS You. See you on the other side, Sweetest of all Angels.
    D