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What Would You Do To Be On Survivor?

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Gloria Query is a woman on a mission, a gal with a goal. That goal is to make it on the reality television show Survivor. Although I'm a huge fan of the show and have written about it since its first season, that's not a goal I share with her. Reading her history of casting calls that she sent to me via email makes me prefer to sit back, watch, and write even more.

Fourteen tryouts and seven years of her life invested, she's still actively trying to make the cut even if she may have alienated the show's executive producer, Mark Burnett, and the casting director. She thinks that they might think she's a "nut" and that she may scare them a bit. All she really wants is the chance to be on the show, that's all. And, apparently she'll do just about anything to make her dream come true.

Her infatuation began with the first season and an attraction to Rudy Boesch, the gruff third-place finisher who became Richard Hatch's one real ally during the season. Why Rudy? Well, he reminded Gloria of her personal father-figure, a man named Sarge. Not owning her own video camera to submit tapes for casting, it was off to the flea market to pick one up. Her first submission may or may not have resulted in a callback, she doesn't know. Her son claimed someone from the show called, but they never called back.

And, that was the sign of things to come for the next seven years. Although she's currently a furniture sales consultant, Query has plenty of experience in the "different" realm including ex-cop, ex-bounty hunter, ex-car repo woman, and even ex-go-go dancer. She drew on her past experiences to be different enough to get her foot in the door at casting calls. She's been a veiled Gypsy looking into the crystal ball and even created a turtle race (thankful that she didn't have to vote off the turtle with three legs) in audition tapes sent to the show.

No callback and "don't call us, we'll call you" seem to be the responses of the casting folks at Survivor. What to do? What to do? Gloria knew what to do. She'd try even harder, make herself stand out even more from the crowd! After her third tryout, she decided that if she never got on the show, she'd work at having the record for the most tryouts. Now, that's a goal she may attain. Fourteen tryouts, yet not one personal interview from the staff. One would think they'd at least talk to her to tell her to stop if they're not interested!

She's submitted tapes of herself hibernating on the kitchen table, coming out of trash bags that her family threw her in as she's a reality show failure, wearing a black girdle and bikini-top dancing with a cut-out of Jeff Probst (also in a bikini), sitting on a Chamber Pot of Dreams, and more. In live casting call auditions, she recently went as far as peeing in her pants and announcing it to the crew.

What would you do to be on Survivor? I'm sure that it's not anything that Gloria Query hasn't already thought of and tried. From her zany and perhaps a bit scary audition tapes and casting call auditions to her plans for the winnings – help someone down on their luck and create a business where special needs folks like her own son could work – she's a woman obsessed. I think the only way Mark Burnett is going to get this monkey off his back is to give her shot and let her sink or swim.

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  • http://www.joyrides4shutins.typepad.com Peter

    I’m not all that into the idea of being on TV, but I would go on Survivor to lose all this weight I’ve gained. I think I would make it to the merge, which should be long enough to drop 40 pounds.

  • http://blogcritics.org/video Lisa McKay

    Congratulations! This article has been selected for syndication to Advance.net, which is affiliated with newspapers around the United States.

  • http://www.iamcorrect.com Lono

    the lady in question appears to be a wack job. I wouldn’t let her on the show, either. Survivor may just be too tough for me. What I would really love to do instead is the Amazing Race. Imagine the opportunity to travel the world on someone else’s dime.

  • http://GloriaQuery gloria query

    Jackie, thank you for great article. Looks like somebody thinks I am a WACKO!!! Well, perhaps wackos like Shane, and perhaps ME are needed to make a show great LOL!!! All jokes aside Jackie thank you for keeping some things private like I was called last year when I lost my ????????? and you know that story!!!!!!!!!LONO maybe one day you will know the real story huh Jackie??????

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