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What Would Jesus Shoot?

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If you’ve read the 2nd Amendment, you know Americans have a Constitutional right to keep and bear arms. However, did you know we also have a Biblical right to arm ourselves? Surprised the heck out of me too. But evidently, according to this book at least, it is a Christian’s sacred duty to have a gun.

Now, without actually having bothered to read the book, I’m not sure what the author is basing his argument on. But I’d be willing to bet the contents of my spank-sock it has something to do with abortion and/or same-sex marriage. (Doesn’t everything these days?) Maybe it’s so you can protect your family against lesbians breaking in and aborting their IVF babies on your good china. Who knows?

The point is, the last time I checked, they didn’t have guns back in the Year Zero. Which means the author is reading something into the Bible that isn’t actually there (shocking, I know), or he’s using the new NRA version instead of the more widely accepted KJV (King James Version).

Either way, it’s almost enough to make me want to rethink my staunch pro-gun, pro-2nd Amendment position. Almost. Because, if I’m not mistaken, I think I hear a group of Seventh-Day Adventists trying to cut through my dining room window. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have some Biblical justice to mete out. And these idiots best not bleed all over my good china like those stupid Girl Scouts did last week.

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About copygodd

  • hah! Man, that hit me right in the funny-glands. Good stuff.

    Maybe they had rocks and stuff. Who would argue a mans right to have a rock in the living room?

    Unless it was part of some horrendous sculpture of some kind.

  • aw, thanks.

    you can’t take away a man’s right to own a rock, then or now, because as jesus said, “if thou outlaw rocks, only outlaws will have rocks.”

  • htom

    Probably Luke 22:37, IIRC 35-38, Oxford New English:

    He said to them, ‘When I sent you out barefoot without purse or pack, were you ever short of anything?’ ‘No’, they answered. ‘It is different now’, He said; ‘whoever has a purse had better take it with him, and his pack too; and if he has no sword, let him sell his cloak to buy one. For the Scripture says, “and he was counted amoung the outlaws”, and these words, I tell you, must find fulfillment in me; indeed all that is written of me is being fullfilled.’ ‘Look, Lord’, they said, ‘we have two swords here.’ ‘Enough, enough!’ He replied.

  • “Now, without actually having bothered to read the book, I’m not sure what the author is basing his argument on.”

    Congrats! I’ve been wondering when a reviewer would actually admit to not reading the book! That’s wonderful.

  • my mother always said i was honest to a fault.

  • my mother always said i was honest to a fault.

  • “let every man have a sword” J. Christ

  • Adam

    Its hard to imagine someone that can’t see that technology changes, and a “sword” in the Bible would be a bit like a “gun” today. Is that too difficult a concept for this person??? And the Bible encourages in MANY places the idea of fighting against evil, and protecting others from harm. Letting someone get raped or murdered while you stand by and watch is most certainly NOT what God intends for us. To do nothing makes us as bad as the criminals. And the Police are generally too far away to help, the damage has been done when they arrive, and they admit this. While waiting for the Paramedics, we do CPR, while waiting for Police,we better have weapons to defend ourselves.