Weighty Thoughts

Our old bloggy pal Justin Sodano is back with thoughts on his new marriage, a condition that strikes one in two Americans:

Tell us a little about your wedding ceremony.

Our wedding was nearly perfect, as was the honeymoon (one week at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas, highly recommended). We planned out our entire ceremony (a non-religious one), and it allowed us to include several friends and family members as speakers. It was very personal and unique. Lindsey tirelessly composed one of the songs played during the ceremony. We also spent many hours creating our own wedding programs, as well as the guest favors (a compilation CD for all attendees). We were very fortunate; it had rained nonstop for three days leading up to our wedding day, but the weather cleared up just a few hours before we started the photography.

Lindsey and I both wrote out personal statements that were read during the ceremony. If anyone is interested in reading them, you can click here for my statement, or here for Lindsey’s. They’re kind of douchey, I’ll warn you.

Douchey? Does that mean what I think it means?!

Not exactly. It’s a word that’s commonly used in my family to describe something that’s cheesy, or sappy. We know what the word’s definition is, but we like to use it as a term of endearment. On the other hand, we especially like the word “douchebag” as a disparaging phrase; it seems to snugly describe so many people in the news nowadays. We’re all well versed in the timeless art of profanity.

Hmm. I see.

For those of us who are a little commitment-shy (that is, all men and most women), can you explain how you overcame any anxiety or apprehension?

Honestly, there wasn’t any to overcome. My relationship with Lindsey has been very calm and natural. We never have loud, drag-out fights, no break-up-and-get-back-together dramas. That stuff sells in the popular culture, but I don’t know of any healthy long-term relationship that operates in such a manner. I never want to feel anxious, or nervous, or distrusting of my partner. Wild emotion swings will wear you both down. I used to have that in previous relationships, the highs followed by maddening lows. No more.

Um, some people still yell a fair amount and have fairly wild mood swings – especially when you have two wildly swinging personalities – and still consider the relationship successful.

I like the part about “douchey,” though. The rest is very sensible and I wish them nothing but the best. I think I must not be super sensible or normal or something because both my marriages fail many of Justin’s critical tests, but my current one “fails” in different, more interesting ways than my first. For us, it succeeds, which I guess proves there is more than one way to skin a grape or douche a bag.