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Weekend Movie Haiku

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Here’s my thoughts on the movies coming out this weekend expressed in haiku form. I used to do movie haiku all the time, so I figured it was time for the whole phoenix from the ashes thing. And I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all ee cummings-style, yo. That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Violently.


seymour hoffman shines
as the writer whose voice sounds
just like droopy dog

greatest game ever played

golfing gagfest shows
shia vs. holes, part deux
i’ll rent caddyshack

into the blue

jessie alba dons

bikini for two hours
guaranteed 10 mill

prize winner of defiance, ohio

julianne moore plays
50’s housewife (gasp!) who pens
annoying jingles


firefly returns
cuz millions of geeks chanted
serenity now

Drew originally posted this babble at Drew’s Blog-O-Rama, where he can be usually be found kvetching about movies and pop culture. He’s also spent almost ten years (!) providing free movie and television scripts online at Drew’s Script-O-Rama. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Armageddon or Varsity Blues transcripts?

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