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Week Five NFL Power Rankings (From an Amateur)

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From Sunday morning to Monday night, the games were filled with last-minute comebacks and 50-yard field goals. While some teams remain unbeaten, others remain defeated. Will things stay this way? Only time will tell.

1. New England Patriots (5-0) (Previous rank: 1): Offense, defense, receivers, and tight ends. There is just no stopping the Patriots. Will New England just play Indy in the AFC Championship game already and get it over with? Tom Brady’s Bunch looks almost flawless.

2. Indianapolis Colts (5-0) (Previous rank: 2): Five games into the season and the Colts are undefeated once again. Yeah, yeah, we get it: they’re good. Our one complaint: the plethora of Peyton Manning commercials are getting a little annoying.

3. Dallas Cowboys (5-0) (Previous rank: 3): Seriously? SERIOUSLY? How did the Cowboys win this game? Despite six turnovers, and a failed two point conversion, Dallas managed to recover an onside kick with 20 seconds left. Nick Folk then booted a 53-yard game winning field goal to beat the Buffalo Bills. Somewhere Scott Norwood is fuming with jealousy.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-1) (Previous rank: 6): When they stick to their winning formula (run + defense = victory), the Steelers look unstoppable. They dominated the Seahawks in a Super Bowl rematch. This time, the refs weren’t their MVP.

5. Green Bay Packers (4-1) (Previous rank: 4): It looked as though the Packers were going to sail in for an easy win, and then the Chicago’s defense happened. This was a hard loss for Green Bay. Now, we find out what they are made of.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-1) (Previous rank: 9): Jacksonville is out to prove they are a force in the AFC. Getting a win at Arrowhead is no easy feat. This is a playoff-bound team.

7. Tennessee Titans (3-1) (Previous rank: 8): Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. Despite this, the Titans found a way to win against the Falcons. This one belongs to their special teams and defense.

8. Baltimore Ravens (3-2) (Previous rank: 11): Not exactly an offensive blowout against San Francisco, but the Ravens will take it. Their defense is back to their old ways. When that happens, their offense doesn’t really need to do much.

9. Seattle Seahawks (3-2) (Previous rank: 6): The Seahawks looked bird brained. They had no one to pass to and Shaun Alexander wasn’t dominating. The ball stayed where they didn’t want it: out of the end zone. Just like that, the Seahawks look more like pretenders than contenders.

10. Arizona Cardinals (3-2) (Previous rank: 12): Another high flying win from the Cardinals, this time against the Rams. Could this be a playoff team? It might be too soon to tell, but don’t be surprised. Oh also, Matt Leinart, sorry about your job.

11. New York Giants (3-2) (Previous rank: 15): Suddenly, the Giants have a winning record. After a 0-2 start, New York is on a winning roll. Getting Brandon Jacobs back helps this team a lot.

12. Washington Redskins (3-1) (Previous rank: 20): With such a close proximity to DC, it was only logical for us to believe Washington was full of hot air. Well, this game just might give them our vote; they looked solid against the Lions.

13. Carolina Panthers (3-2) (Previous rank: 14): It took a winning field goal, but the Panthers succeeded in not being the first team to lose to New Orleans. Now we see how David Carr handles the starting job.

14. Tampa Bay (3-2) (Previous rank: 10): Did anyone really give Tampa Bay a chance in this game? Probably not. Indy in Indy is about as hard as they get. We’ll see if they rebound next week against Tennessee or if it’s time to pass the Bucs.

15. Houston Texans (3-2) (Previous rank: 16): This game was a kicker! As Kris Brown belted three 50-plus field goals, fantasy players everywhere wondered why a kicker scored more points than all their receivers combined.

16. Detroit Lions (3-2) (Previous rank: 7): Lions fans should be less concerned with losing this game against the Redskins and more concerned with what it will do to John Kitna’s confidence. This team needs to rebound, and rebound fast.

17. San Diego (2-3) (Previous rank: 21): Apparently, the Broncos were the charge San Diego needed. When even the second string running back runs for 147 yards, chances are you’re going to win.

18. Cleveland Browns (2-3) (Previous rank: 17): Derek Anderson didn’t have it, and Jamal Lewis got hurt. If the Browns want to be taken more seriously, they have to perform better against stellar teams.

19. Denver Broncos (2-3) (Previous rank: 13): Um, ouch. Once upon a time no one could beat Denver at home and once upon a time, Broncos fans wouldn’t leave halfway through a game no matter the score. The times have changed. This was simply awful.

20. Chicago Bears (2-3) (Previous rank: 22): The Bears have returned to their winning game plan: rely on defense and hope the offense doesn’t screw it up. Now, they just have to do that for the rest of the season.

21. San Francisco (2-3) (Previous rank: 19): 2-0 keeps getting further and further away. Their offense is awful: passing, running, all of it just can’t get started. Their defense isn’t doing them any favors either.

22. Kansas City Chiefs (2-3) (Previous rank: 18): A week after upsetting the Chargers in San Diego, the Kansas City Chiefs returned to their old ways. Where the heck is Larry Johnson?

23. Oakland Raiders (2-2) (Previous rank: 27): No change: Bye week.

24. Philadelphia Eagles (1-3) (Previous rank: 15): No change: Bye week.

25. Cincinnati Bengals (1-3) (Previous rank: 16): No change: Bye week.

26. Buffalo Bills (1-4) (Previous rank: 32):What else could the Bills have done to win this game? Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be. Despite forcing six Cowboy turnovers, in the end, the Bills were Buffaloed.

27. Atlanta Falcons (1-4) (Previous rank: 27): They forced five turnovers and still couldn’t win. Right now, the Buffalo Bills feel their pain.

28. New York Jets (1-4) (Previous rank: 29): Maybe Mangenius dropped a few IQ points or maybe the players just aren’t passionate enough. Whatever the cause for their turbulence, one thing is certain: this isn’t their year.

29. New Orleans Saints (0-4) (Previous rank: 28): Oh my, how this team has fallen from Sainthood. Without a win thus far in the season, they might not be able to get back to their winning ways. Four games and no wins is a deep hole to climb out from.

30. Minnesota Vikings (1-3) (Previous rank: 30): No change: Bye week.

31. Miami Dolphins (0-5) (Previous rank: 31): When the opposing kicker makes a 57-yard field goal to win the game, you have to start thinking the cosmos are against you. What’s worse, Trent Green’s career might be over.

32. St Louis Rams (0-5) (Previous rank: 31): Close, but no cigar. This team is hurting: figuratively and metaphorically. Their offense got going but their defense got scorched.

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About J Jordan

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    “As Kris Brown belted three 50-plus field goals, fantasy players everywhere wondered why a kicker scored more points than all their receivers combined.”

    I don’t wonder. I know. It’s because Deion Branch and Terrell Owens hate me and my internet gaming ambitions.

  • http://www.savoreachglass.com JJ

    Don’t be too hard on them. In my fantasy league, I had a total of 32 points. Total. It hurts. It hurts bad.

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    23. Oakland Raiders (2-2) (Previous rank: 27): No change: Bye week.

    24. Philadelphia Eagles (1-3) (Previous rank: 15): No change: Bye week.

    25. Cincinnati Bengals (1-3) (Previous rank: 16): No change: Bye week.

    Huh?

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