The Broncos are bad, the Lions are good. The Chargers are mediocre, and the Packers are a loss away from being undefeated. If there is one thing this NFL season has been so far, it’s completely crazy.
1. New England Patriots (9-0) (Previous rank: 1): Well, it wasn’t the offensive shootout many of us thought we’d see, but it was exciting nonetheless (at least in the fourth quarter). Coming back from ten down on the road further cements their 16-0 campaign. Tom Brady is the best clutch quarterback in the game.
2. Indianapolis Colts (7-1) (Previous rank: 2): It was a loss, but the Colts proved they could play with the Pats. The two will meet again, most likely in the AFC Championship. They are definitely a force to be reckoned with, but their defense can’t blow those kinds of leads if they are going to repeat as Super Bowl Champions.
3. Dallas Cowboys (7-1) (Previous rank: 3): This was a game that a lot of people picked Philly to win. Well, Tony Romo, T.O., and Jason Witten (even without a helmet) had something to say about that. Their defense was spectacular too: they left Philly looking like shredded cheese…steak.
4. Green Bay Packers (7-1) (Previous rank: 4): Is Green Bay going to make it to the Super Bowl? Where they win and Brett Favre (in true John Elway fashion) retires? Well, so far, so good. This was a huge win in Arrowhead. The Packers are teaching teams that it’s possible to win, even without a running back.
5. New York Giants (6-2) (Previous rank: 5): No change: Bye week.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) (Previous rank: 6): The Ravens never had a chance in this game. They were tarred and feathered before the second half even started. The Steelers are bent on letting the Pats and Colts know that they aren’t deemed champions just yet.
7. Detroit Lions (6-2) (Previous rank: 10): For anyone who was still up in the air about the Lions, it’s time to start landing. Detroit didn’t just beat Denver, they made them look pathetic. On defense and offense, Detroit was nearly flawless. These Lions are determined to go roaring into the playoffs.
8. Tennessee Titans (6-2) (Previous rank: 7): Despite Vince Young performing poorly, the Titans continue to squeak out victories. One of the most pleasant surprises of this season has been their defense. With their ability to sack, victory is practically in the bag.
9. Cleveland Browns (5-3) (Previous rank: 12): Halfway through the season and Cleveland has a winning record? Don’t adjust your computer screens: it’s true. Their offense is explosive. If they could become a little more solid on special teams and defense, the Browns would easily find themselves out of the dog house, er, pound.
10. Washington Redskins (5-3) (Previous rank: 15): A week after getting walloped, the Redskins came from behind to win on the road. Their running game was awesome: Clinton Portis made his fantasy owners proud.
11. New Orleans Saints (4-4) (Previous rank: 16): Don’t look now, but the Saints are .500 and only a half a game out of first place. After winning four in a row, this team is getting hot. They dominated Jacksonville’s defense: Drew Brees had a monster game and Reggie Bush…well, he wasn’t too bad either.
12. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-3) (Previous rank: 8): So much for their stellar defense: they were carved by the Saints like a Thanksgiving turkey. They aren’t good enough on offense to keep up when an opponent scores 41 points. If they don’t get their defense going, they won’t be going anywhere.
13. Tampa Bay (5-4) (Previous rank: 17): Their defense left the Cardinals feeling bird brained and their offense did just enough to get the job done. This victory really belongs to their management of the clock: keeping the opponent’s offense off the field obviously makes it harder for them to score.
14. San Diego (4-4) (Previous rank: 9): Just when we thought the Chargers were, well, Charged, their batteries seem to have died. On a day when the rest of the AFC West lost, San Diego could have really used a victory. LaDainian Tomlinson was completely upstaged by a rookie.
15. Seattle Seahawks (4-4) (Previous rank: 11): The Seahawks can’t blow leads if they are going to make the playoffs. They should have had this game in the bag, but found their feathers clipped instead. If they don’t start putting pressure on the opposing quarterback, they won’t be flying anywhere come January.
16. Buffalo Bills (4-4) (Previous rank: 21): The recent run of the Buffalo Bills has left many people wondering if they could be a playoff team. Right now, they are certainly playing like it. Marshawn Lynch was great on Sunday and they came from behind, which makes the victory even bigger. This team keeps getting better.
17. Carolina Panthers (4-4) (Previous rank: 13): Their defense gave them a chance to win by intercepting Vince Young, but their offense doesn’t seem to know how to get in the end zone. Not many games will be won by scoring a measly seven points.
18. Houston Texans (4-5) (Previous rank: 24): Houston is hanging in there with all their might. They are playing aggressive on offense and defense. They have heart and they have passion. That is more than a lot of the other teams in the NFL. They are an easy team to root for.
19. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) (Previous rank: 18): When Larry Johnson is limited, the Chiefs won’t win. Plainly put, they don’t have any receivers: Tony Gonzalez can’t do it alone. They have a huge match up this week against Denver. If they can’t run on the Broncos, there might not be any hope.
20. Baltimore Ravens (4-4) (Previous rank: 14): Wow, this was bad. Their offense was awful and their defense was destroyed. Hopefully the sting of this loss doesn’t make Ray Lewis want to go out and kill anyone.
21. Minnesota Vikings (3-5) (Previous rank: 28): This team might not make the playoffs this year, but in the coming seasons they will be contenders. Why? Adrian Peterson. ‘Nuff said.
22. Chicago Bears (3-5) (Previous rank: 22): No change; Bye week.
23. Arizona Cardinals (3-5) (Previous rank: 19): This is turning into a typical Arizona Cardinals season. They simply aren’t getting enough yards on offense: their passing game is mediocre and their running game is, well, even worse than Green Bay’s.
24. Denver Broncos (3-5) (Previous rank: 17): Dear Denver Broncos Fans: get your heads out of the oven; the season’s not over yet. Still, it’s bad. Oh so, so, bad. Denver seems to be getting worse: they can’t get any momentum and their players can’t evade injury. The only thing keeping them afloat is the ineptness of the AFC West.
25. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) (Previous rank: 23): Philadelphia seemed to be getting back to normalcy and then, then they met the Cowboys. This game was over early. We aren’t sure what’s wrong with this team, but they’ve flown off the radar.
26. Atlanta Falcons (2-6) (Previous rank: 29): This was a hard earned win and one that belongs to their defense. They made the big plays on San Francisco when they needed to. Warrick Dunn also had a nice day, rushing for 100 yards despite being like sixty years old or something.
27. Cincinnati Bengals (2-6) (Previous rank: 23): There are a lot of bad defenses in the league this year, but, after giving up 33 points to the Buffalo Bills, the Bengals might just take the cake. Their offense is decent, but that doesn’t really matter when they can’t outscore their opponents.
28. Oakland Raiders (2-6) (Previous rank: 27): Their defense seems to have lost their edge and their offense, well, that’s a whole different story. Whether it’s Culpepper or McCown seems irrelevant: they just can’t pass the ball. They aren’t out of it yet, but they are certainly in the cellar.
29. San Francisco (2-6) (Previous rank: 26): If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear flowers in your hair…cause you sure don’t want to wear a niner’s shirt. They’ve now dropped six in a row: this is a disaster. Their season is over.
30. New York Jets (1-8) (Previous rank: 30): This loss must be shouldered by the defense: they let Washington claw their way back. Kellen Clemens didn’t perform any miracles, but he had a solid game. They still get a mark in the L column, but at least they were in it.
31. St Louis Rams (0-8) (Previous rank: 31): No Change: Bye week.
32. Miami Dolphins (0-8) (Previous rank: 32): No Change; Bye week.