Home / War Support Drops, So Do Old People, Gates Has Left The Building, and We Have WMDs in Iraq

War Support Drops, So Do Old People, Gates Has Left The Building, and We Have WMDs in Iraq

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Dateline: March, I believe, somewhere in North Korea

Your intrepid reporter hasn't the vaguest idea how he wound up in North Korea. I don't speak the language, and I'm not fond of tree bark as a main course. Hell, Lithuania is preferable to this hell hole. But fear not, Internet access is ubiquitous, so we are able to bring you the news.

Whoa, Now This is Unexpected. CNN has discovered that American support for the war in Iraq is sinking like the Titanic, only faster. And we're less proud of being there. Confidence in the war has plummeted from 83 percent when it started four years ago to 35 percent today.

Ah, come on guys, give us a tough one, like how many people know that the infamous Barbi twins had minor roles in some unbearable stupid TV show about getting married? Given that the Busher should have a nose about 35 feet long with bird nests hanging from it based on his never-ending series of lies, that we've created a terrorist's dream in Afghanistan and Iraq, and that everyone in the world, including ourselves, hates us… why wouldn't support go down?

They're Old People. Who Cares? A really big oops on the part of two Republican Congressmen from Georgia (where else?) who got a bill passed that requires written proof of citizenship before getting Medicaid benefits. Let's face it, illegal immigrants who are stealing the Medicaid dollars off the shelves like boxes of tortillas and sitting in their vast estates laughing at the silly gringos and their dumb laws… where was I? Oh, yeah, the bill was supposed to stop all that shilly-shallying. One problem. Tons of old people, mostly the folks who most need Medicaid, haven't seen their birth certificate in years. Passports are okay but a lot of folks can't even afford them. The result, a brilliant reduction in Medicaid costs.

I dunno. Call me heartless, but if you're not smart enough to know where your birth certificate is, I mean, can you even prove you were born? Maybe you weren't. We shouldn't have to pay Medicaid benefits to things that were hatched. You could be part of the Pod People come back for another stupid movie. I'm with Georgia on this one. If your ID don't fly, you gotta die.

Optimism in the Pursuit of Stupidity is Not Noble. In what has to be one of the most stupid remarks ever made by a military leader dealing with a controversial war, Reuters reports that on the fourth anniversary of the Iraq War, newly crowned Defense Secretary Robert Gates said it was to early to tell if the new strategy was working, but "so far, so good."

A burned-out light bulb would have been better than Rumsfeld, but somebody's gotta check what time Gates starts drinking. Dear Mr. Gates:  Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you really a blithering idiot or does the Busher have something on you? So far, so good? Maybe it's terminal blindness. For one example of how good it's gotten, keep reading

Hip Hip Hurray! We've Found the WMD In Iraq. There's only one problem. The stupid Iraqis, who got them from – gosh, I wonder where – are using them against each other.  And it's chlorine. Do you know how bad elemental chlorine is? Try instadeath. I'd rather swim with the sharks than get a big snort of chlorine. Your intrepid reporter does not speak lightly nor exaggerate his claims. One chemical company (many years ago) discovered that they had five tank cars at one of their plants. (Chlorine is used in just about everything.) And they knew that the plant was along the flight path for the city's airport. With no government pressure, they worked out a just-in-time delivery system where there would never be more than half a tank car.

Over the past week, hundreds have died and thousands injured by this WMD that Arabs use against their own. 

But at least Georgie can now proudly proclaim that we found WMD in Iraq.  The fact that al Qaeda was behind the all the chlorine bombs is irrelevant.  Yup, so far, so good.

Well, we've come to the end of another fun edition of Mark My Words. If you're as impressed with it as I am, feel free to make generous contributions… but not just yet.  I've got to figure out to get them past the big shots at BC Magazine.

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About Mark Schannon

Retired crisis & risk manager/communications expert; extensive public relations experience in most areas over 30 years. Still available for extraordinary opportunities of mind-numbing complexity. Life-long liberal agnostic...or is that agnostic liberal.
  • Clavos

    Oh, too bad.

    I had a few bucks for you, but I’ve given them to the Dysfunctional Pod People Protection and Barbershop Quartet League.

  • Yeah, me too. The “Ban Sugar and Help the Ants” Foundation took my last 35 cents. Special interest is bankrupting me.

  • And what did the guy who fell off the Empire State Building say, as he passed the 50th floor? “So far, so good!”

  • It’s not nice to tease your intrepid reporter.

    Clavos, is it one group? The Dysfunctional Pod People Protection and Barbershop Quartet League or are you wasting your money on two separate ones?

    Alessandro — no problem, I support that organization too.

    Lee–truer words were never spoke. Check out the front page of the Wash Post today. Even the military says we’re fucked.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • Clavos

    Actually, Mark, it’s just one group. Last year they decided that historically their focus had been too narrow and that they needed to diversify.

    The rest, as they say, is history…

  • Clavos, that’s pretty diverse, I’ll grant you that.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • Methuselah

    Is the Iraq invasion over?

    No one seems to be discussing it here on BC.

  • Old Guy, the invasion’s been over for almost 4 years. It’s what to do once you’ve “won” that’s turning the administration in knots. Such a victory…I’d hate to see what defeat looks like.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • Don’t worry, you won’t ever see what defeat looks like. Anyone with a mind as incisive and a pen as expressive as yours would be taken out of the picture in the earliest stages of establishing any totalitarian regime (regardless of whether it happened to be an islamofascist totalitarianism, or a traditional eurofascist one).

    So thanks for sticking your neck out and proving it can still be survived.

    I’d donate, but these days I can’t even keep up my memberships in Bat Conservation International and the Mars Society.

  • Well, I hate to say it, but this isn’t my real name, nor is this really me writing this. I’m actually in hiding in Lithuania, and I’ve paid a hack writer to use his own name but give me all the money…so far, we’re both broke.

    Thanks…I think.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • jaz

    I AM Spartacus!

    was that my out loud voice?

  • Sorry, jaz, it was.

    I am not Spartacus. I spit on Spartacus. I sleep with his wife while he relies on goats.

    and I love George Bush

    In Jameson Veritas (sometimes)

  • Jaz! Thinking of changing your nick again?

    And Mark, don’t worry. It doesn’t matter how many pseudonyms and ghost writers you use. They’ll still find you, if and when it comes time to put all the free minds against the wall.

    You’re welcome.

  • jaz

    nah Victor…i think this will do just fine, my real initials are as close as i’ll get to using my full name

    oh yeah…and Mark..i’m gonna tell my missus you called her a goat

    she’s well armed, and a bit cranky…so i guess that would make you my scapegoat?

  • MCH

    “Well, I hate to say it, but this isn’t my real name, nor is this really me writing this. I’m actually in hiding in Lithuania, and I’ve paid a hack writer to use his own name but give me all the money…”

    You’re not Vox Populi, are you? Oh…that was Nalle.

    Never mind.

  • Clavos

    @#14:

    Only if he manages to ‘scape from your missus…

  • jaz

    Clavos…they never do

    her studio walls are lined with the heads of those who have offended..some still bleeding when she nails them up there

    but i digress

  • Clavos

    BTW Mark:

    What’s with the “Hair Max Laser Comb?”

    In fact, what is a laser comb?

  • STM

    Yeah, I’ve been really worried about that too Schanno. What’s going on?

  • Most important things first. I’ve seen ads for that on TV & I have a certain amount of male-pattern baldness…on my head…and I was getting tired of finding books that capture the spirit of what I want to say…you know, capture my voice, as it were. So I saw that & posted it.

    Thank God somebody noticed. I was beginning to get nervous.

    MCH, please, no references to Vox Populi on this thread…everything it comes up all the fun gets tossed out the window and anger, fire, blizzards, tornados, and lunatics appear here. Thank you.

    Jaz, very clever…threatening me however is a violation of the new Security Regulations promulgated under the New Secret Laws allowing FOGs (Friends of George) to do anything they want. Your wife doesn’t scare me. She does, however, get my goat.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • jaz

    she scares the hell out of me, Mark

    be afraid, be very afraid…

  • Jeeze Jaz, you think a full frontal nude apology would help? I mean, she’d get a good laugh out of it.

    Thank goodness none of the information about me on this site is correct.

    and I still love George Bush…may he rain forever.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • jaz

    “I call you Killer, cuz you slay me…” – Alice Kramden

  • RJ

    “we’ve created a terrorist’s dream in Afghanistan”

    Yes, there were definitely no terrorists in Afghanistan prior to Bush’s illegal, criminal war for an oil pipeline. Osama bin Laden was certainly not given a safe-haven there by the Taliban to attack the United States. And anyone who sys otherwise is a neo-con fascist lying liar.

  • RJ

    “Do you know how bad elemental chlorine is? Try instadeath.”

    Yeah, except it’s a naturally-occurring element on the periodical table, and is a required ingredient in every swimming pool American parents will let their children swim in. Kinda difficult to eliminate that particular threat in a country the size of California, no?

    REPORT:

    On 16 March, three suicide bombers drove trucks laden with tanks of toxic chlorine gas and rammed into their targets in the volatile Sunni province of Anbar, about 200km west of Baghdad. Two people were killed in the attack and 350 injured, including six US troops.

    So, 355 people were effected by this attack. Five died. Three of the five were the suicide bombers. The other two were almost certainly victims of the blast itself, as opposed to the chlorine gas. Which means 350 people were exposed to the chlorine gas, and 350 survived.

    “Instadeath” indeed…

  • J.J. Hunsecker

    “Yes, there were definitely no terrorists in Afghanistan prior to Bush’s…”

    Where was that written or is it your sad game to make up silly arguments easy to dismiss based on small fragments because you can’t handle the actual issues being discussed like an adult? I understand it does save you from having to deal with the current reality of Afghanistan and Iraq.

  • RJ

    Look, Hunsucker, I’m pointing out a fact: Afghanistan WAS a “terrorist’s dream” BEFORE Bush ordered an invasion in response to 9/11. If you don’t think that’s a relevant point, I don’t think I, or anyone else, can help you.

  • J.J. Hunsecker

    Look, BJ, what I responded to was not you pointing out a fact. You were lamely being sarcastic to a point no one was making here. If you think you added anything to the conversation, I doubt anyone would look to you for help.

    The author never said there were no terrorists in Afghanistan before, so your latest comment doesn’t have much relevance. He said, “We’ve created a terrorist’s dream in Afghanistan and Iraq.” Are you disputing that? It can be corrected, but it isn’t looking good currently.

  • Thank you JJ. RJ, of course Afghanistan was a terrorist playground prior to the invasion. That’s why the entire world supported it. That’s why a world-wide coalition beat the crap out of the Taliban.

    But oops, what happened? Something got into Busher’s ear that the only real Truth was toppling Iraq…something bin Laden was praying for because he knew that we’d create another Vietnam there. These are tribal, not national or international issues.

    Why Bush/ChainLink/Rummy didn’t know that will be one of the great mysteries pondered through the ages.

    BUT, RJ, what happened as a result of “Iraq, Iraq, Here I Come,” etc.? Our best troops and virtually all of our Arabic speaking troops were dragged out of Afghanistan before the battle was won to engage in a fools errand in Iraq.

    We could have won in Afghanistan…we had bin Laden & the Taliban on the fucking ropes and that moronic equivalent of a 3 dollar bill who happens to be president fucked up royally.

    Talk to the troops who were in Afghanistan. I have–and one was the senior military commander of the best Arab speaking group we’d ever put together. He was working in NW Afhghanistan (why don’t these people make their names easy to spell?) going after bin Laden when his entire force was pulled out from under him.

    Look at the Wash Post front page Sunday or Monday–to what our own military leaders are saying. We are totally drained and emasculated. We couldn’t take on the Everready Bunny and win.

    Nobody disputes going into Afghanistan–well, a few non-sentient moss growths have protested. But Bush didn’t finish the job & he pissed off the entire world, after the President of France said, “We are all Americans,” after 9/11 & he threw it away.

    For the thousands who have given their lives in vain–yes in vain–in obedience to the biggest liar since Richard Nixon to inhabit the White House, Bush should at least be drawn and quartered.

    And that’s the truth.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • Whoa. I be pissed. It’s just like fucking Vietnam…sick old men sending young men to get slaughtered for no reason at all. Politicians are afraid to say it, but I’m not running for anything–we’re killing our own children in Iraq just like we did in Vietnam, and there’s not one squat of fucking military or international reason for doing it.

    You want to throw up…The French & Germans were ready to join us in the attack on Iraq. All they asked was that the UN inspectors be allowed to finish their job. Bushit couldn’t wait because there was an election coming up.

    How he and his stooges can sleep at night is another of those great mysteries.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • MCH

    Hey JJ,
    You aint seen nothin’ yet. When he really starts feeling macho, he gets to pontificating on what the purpose of the military is, or lecturing on what combat is like.**

    **ie, regurgitating Rush Limbaugh (although neither has ever served)

  • MCH

    “For the thousands who have given their lives in vain–yes in vain–in obedience to the biggest liar since Richard Nixon to inhabit the White House, Bush should at least be drawn and quartered.”
    – Mark

    But RJ will never have to worry about that, eh?

  • MCH

    “It’s just like fucking Vietnam…sick old men sending young men to get slaughtered for no reason at all.”
    – Mark

    And not only sick old men, but also late 20-something war-wimps…

  • MCH, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I can’t tell if you’re trying to insult me or someone else. Do you have a point to make that has any substance to it or are you just trying to be clever?

  • I believe he’s suggesting that RJ Elliott ordered the troops into Iraq, and that’s pretty damned far from being ‘clever’.

    Dave

  • MCH

    Mark –
    The “20-something war-wimps” and “regurgitating Limbaugh” applies to RJ; but the “sick old men” would apply to Vox Popu…er, Nalle.

  • MCH’s ever-hostile rhetorical style is a bit like Bush’s international relations skillset. He’s just as likely to make the people he agrees with feel insulted as he is to successfully diss his natural political opponents.

  • ScooterCheney

    “..sick old men sending young men to get slaughtered for no reason at all.”

    It is NOT for nothing! America needs to demonstrate tough-minded politics to intimidate foreigners and show that our leaders are bold enough to brave public hostility and send soldiers to die. That’ll keep them in their place!

    Otherwise they might think we’re g*y or something.

  • MCH, did I not tell you to ixnay on the oxvey opulipay stuff? You think Jaz’ wife is tough. Wait until I sic mine on you. You’ll wish you’d been taken down a swarm of bush-eyed terriers…whatever.

    Victor, well be a meanie has no place on any of my posts…being a loonie is good (witness my late night rants), being hostile to bad people…or good people is good as long as it’s either true or clever (Scooter’s [post above mine.)

    But if I have to keep a civil tongue in my head because I’m a fucking editor, then everyone who wants to play in my sandbox has to as well.

    Jeeze, there’s plenty of room to be nasty/funny with just a little prick (heh heh.) Teasing good, moral outrage (somewhat contained good)…
    oh what the hell. Have a good day all. Fun thread.

    Mark

    In Jameson Veritas

  • MCH

    Re #37;

    I guess the major difference, Victor, being that I’m not responsible for the deaths of over 3,000 American soldiers, over 22,000 wounded in action, and wasting over $410.2 billion of the taxpayers dollars…

    and counting…

  • Mark Shannon: You don’t have to keep a fucking civil tongue in yer fucking head, you just bloody well can’t insult somebody whilst you’re fucking doing it. Got it fucker? That goes regardless of whether you fucking well edit or not. *smiles*

  • Who you callin’ a fucker’ you discharge from an aborted cow? (Yuck) And stay out of my threads until you learn to spell my name right. And then ask permission. “I am junior editor, hear me roar.”

    But, pay no attention to the comments editor above, MCH, please stop being cryptic. Are you suggesting that Victor is really Georgie Bush & is responsible for all the deaths? Or what?

    I’m an old man, very ill, may not last the day…speak plainly and fucking clearly or Christopher will clean your clock.

    I need a nap.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • Well, MCH, here’s the thing. Seems to me, if you really cared about the causes you claim to espouse, such as getting American troops brought home from Iraq, you might learn to be more effective in your support for them.

    Yet in reality you seem bent on alienating even those naturally inclined to be your allies.

    So, in the end, perhaps you are more responsible for the continuing American entanglement in Iraq than you would like to believe. By choosing such inept methods to oppose their continued deployment, you may have acted more effectively to keep U.S. troops deployed over there than many a right-wing war hawk has ever achieved.

  • MCH

    Victor;
    And if you really cared about the causes you claim to espouse, you woulda enlisted right after the invasion.

  • “You could be part of the Pod People come back for another stupid movie.”

    HUZZAH!

  • Schannon, in the future please do not post pictures of your nose hair trimmer next to the headline.

  • MCH, your habit of jumping to unsupportable conclusions is monotonous. Where have I ever spoken in support of invading Iraq? You won’t find even one word I’ve ever written to advocate any such thing.

    Matthew, it’s the 21st century, man. We don’t have rocket backpacks, we don’t have flying cars, and we don’t even have domed cities yet.

    Please, let us keep our laser-powered nose hair trimmers.

  • Suss, my goodness, you must have one hell of a schnozz if you think that’s a nose trimmer. We should start calling you Cyrano de Sussman.

    Actually, it’s an ear trimmer for real old men with collapsing lobes and mountains of hair.

    RJ, re: #25…do me a favor. Go to a pool store, grab a bucket of chlorine tablets, open it and breathe deep. You probably won’t die, but you won’t breathe right for hours.

    I don’t want to give you a chemistry lesson, but once chlorine is combined with other chemicals, it’s not toxic, but in gas form, it is lethal. The reason at the chemical company we went from 5 tank cars to 1/2 tank car is that if a plan crashed into the plant, hitting the 5 tank cars, and a ball game was being played, oh, some mile away from the plant–major league, BTW, we could wipe out 50,000 people.

    Victor and MCH, you sound like a tired old married couple that’s been arguing for decades about why the wedding cake fell of the table. You’ve been at it for long, you’re talking in code.

    Don’t want no Pod People,
    I don’t want no Pod People,
    No, can’t stand no Pod People
    Round me.

    In Jameson Veritas

  • That’s funny. Usually I just ignore MCH, so I don’t see how I could have developed any sort of “code” for talking to him.

  • RJ

    “Talk to the troops who were in Afghanistan. I have–and one was the senior military commander of the best Arab [sic] speaking group we’d ever put together. He was working in NW Afhghanistan [sic] (why don’t these people make their names easy to spell?) going after bin Laden when his entire force was pulled out from under him.”

    Interesting, especially when one considers that Afghans speak Pashto and Farsi, not Arabic (like they do in Iraq)…

  • RJ

    “the biggest liar since Richard Nixon to inhabit the White House”

    I don’t believe Dubya has yet had the entire United States Supreme Court disbar him, as well as boycott a State Of The Union Speech, due to lying (under oath and otherwise), like BJ Clinton did…

  • RJ

    “The French & Germans were ready to join us in the attack on Iraq.”

    Gerhard Schröder won reelection in late 2002 largely by promising the German people he would would not allow his country to assist the US in any war against Iraq.

    “All they asked was that the UN inspectors be allowed to finish their job. Bushit couldn’t wait because there was an election coming up.”

    Yeah, 20 months later…

  • RJ

    MCH’s own “war record” is as follows:

    – Volunteered for the Navy during the Vietnam War, in order to avoid being drafted into the Army infantry
    – Was stationed in Hawaii, where he excelled at softball and billiards
    – Discharged from the military without ever seeing combat, [unsupported allegation deleted by Comments Editor]
    – Currently cyber-stalks conservative supporters of the GWOT at Blogcritics while posting under an “anonymous” name, despite being a member of the MSM
    – Is paid by the Helena Independent Record for following around high school girls and writing about their athletic ability

  • Clavos

    RJ #53:

    I think you’re being kind when you count the Helena Independent Record with the MSM.

  • MCH

    Re #53;

    I’ve never suggested my service was anything but mediocre, war-wimp…only that it was more than you’ve ever done (which is nothing).

    And since when has “seeing combat” stopped you from trashing vets? Specifically when you compared Max Cleland to a gigantic thalidamide baby.

    BTW Elliott, when I enlisted my lottery number was 352, over 160 slots away from being drafted.

  • MCH

    “Currently cyber-stalks conservative supporters of the GWOT at Blogcritics…”
    – RJ Elliott

    Not true, either, Elliott. I only point out the hypocrisy of those who promote the invasion/occupation of Iraq (with phony rhetoric) from the safety of their keyboards, 10,000 miles away from the action, while being content to send someone else to fight their battles for them.