I have a debilitating pattern in relationships where I choose men who are ultimately unavailable. The men frequently end up going back to an ex they remain in love with the entire time they're with me.
I realize I need to start standing up for myself in relationships and choosing men who are available for commitment. I also know I mistreat those who entirely give their hearts to me. How do I resolve this inner turmoil and start making healthier choices? I'd really like to find a life partner and hopefully have more children in a stable, loving, and somewhat exciting union.
Conflicted in Love
When I first read your post I thought, “Uh oh. Another doormat Pisces, trying to quit…” And this is valid on the surface. Pisces do tend to sacrifice themselves, which is surely what you are doing when you screw a man who loves another woman.
But then I put your chart up and it’s a far more complex problem. If we were talking “straight Pisces,” then any man who was unavailable and inattentive would do. You know, he could be playing baseball with the boys all day. He could be smoking crack.
But in your case, you are repeatedly setting up triangles that involve other women and these situations can virtually always be traced to your relationship with your parents. Your Venus in the tenth house supports my theory and I doubt you’ll be able to break this pattern without coming to understand just exactly what is driving you. And I can tell you where to look.
Spend some time thinking about the relationship between your parents. For example, did your mother lose your father to another woman – and now you’re, in essence, recreating her experience so you can better understand it? Or alternatively, were your parents so close, so enmeshed and in love they had no time for you and this is the scene you are setting up?
You get the idea. Untangle this and you'll be on your way. Good luck, hon.