Home / Vincent Gallo Waxes Ridiculous Regarding Kirsten Dunst

Vincent Gallo Waxes Ridiculous Regarding Kirsten Dunst

Please Share...Print this pageTweet about this on TwitterShare on Facebook0Share on Google+0Pin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone

So what it is, is The Duke was intending to do some light-weight shit, and then next thing I know I’m alerted to a spot of news via some good folks on Kirsten-Dunst.org. What that there is, is a “website” all about Kirsten Dunst, photos of Kirsten Dunst, forums all about “hey guys I love Kirsten can I get her email thanks” and so on.

Turns out Kirsten was scheduled to appear briefly in lovable rogue Vincent Gallo’s much-praised, critically-lauded, universally-admired The Brown Bunny, until, for some inexplicable reason, Kirsten decided She would rather not, in fact, be involved with Gallo’s magnum opus.

Here’s a buncha text what I just ripped the fuck off of MSN.COM

Gallo tells the New York Post that Dunst agreed to appear briefly at the beginning of his orally fixated flick, which Roger Ebert called “the worst film in the history” of the Cannes Film Festival, but her agent phoned shortly before cameras were set to roll to say she was bailing out.

The acerbic auteur tells the paper he called Dunst and “expressed to her that I was displeased that she had abandoned me on the day she was supposed to film.” According to Gallo, she “became another person. She was a cold, curt, nasty little witch of a brat on the phone.”

Dunst’s agent tells the Post that the actress jumped ship once her people realized the production didn’t conform to SAG guidelines, insisting, “[Gallo] can say anything he wants. She did nothing wrong.”

Gallo, ever the gentleman, says there are no hard feelings. “If she wants to do lame, stupid movies, it’s great. I respect her,” he tells the paper. “I was very angry for a really long time, but at this point I just think she’s a talented, pretty person and I only wish good things for her.”

In incurring Gallo’s wrath, Dunst has joined an ever-expanding club whose members include Christina Ricci and Roger Ebert. Of his “Buffalo ’66” leading lady, Gallo said, “I don’t like her. But it’s okay. She’s basically a puppet. I told her what to do, and she did it.” Sadly, Ricci got off light compared to Ebert.

Gallo’s revenge for the man who boiled his “Bunny” in print included referring to him as a “fat pig” and putting a “black magic hex” on him so he’d develop prostate cancer. Ebert, coincidentally, was later diagnosed with salivary cancer.

While the two later kissed and made up (sort of), we urge Kirsten to watch her back — and have regular check-ups.”

Let’s be honest here, Gallo is fulla shit, but he’s never less than entertaining. And to be a bit more honest even, if I had scheduled Kirsten to star in my film about blow-jobs and driving, probably I’d be annoyed if She didn’t turn up the day She was supposed to.

On the other hand, how the hell could he blame Kirsten for it all? Have some dignity, man. Blame fucking Will Smith or some shit. Gallo Slams Smith For Kirsten’s Good Sense would be a much preferable headline for to read of a morning.

And what about that “lame, stupid movies” remark? What the fuck, Gallo? How many Eternal Sunshine’s are in your filmography? When was the last time a Virgin Suicides fell out your asshole? And I ain’t ever in my life heard so much as a Cat’s Non-Committed Sigh from you, never mind a Meow. You’re good at yacking sentiments like “Bring it on, motherfucker”, but you ain’t got two Bring It On’s for to rub together.

He’s a bit like Morrissey except without the excessive talent. You just hope he’s gonna wake up pissed-off and there’s gonna be a reporter near-by, so as he can open his window and scream about whatever motherfucker done pissed him off, and here’s what he’s gonna do about it, and here’s what he wishes happened to said motherfucker, up-to-and-including any and all bizarre equatorial viruses they hopefully catch.

Buffalo 66 was a fine flick, though, and Christina Ricci was just about amazing, as she usually is, in fact. If only any motherfuckers could pronounce her surname properly, she might even get an Oscar one of these days.

Thanks Kirsten. And also Roswell Crash Survivor, who went ahead and alerted The Duke to this development.

The Duke resides at Mondo Irlando, where you can Hear His Mournful Ditties

Or Why Not Investigate Flix Wizard, The Foul-Mouthed Hollywood Hard-Ass

Powered by

About The Duke

  • I gotta say I like Gallo as an actor and director quite a bit. He’s probably crabby since he hasn’t had any success in the last, what, eight to ten years?

    He’s the type that’ll disappear for a few decades and then come back with some strange work of genius.

  • What really scares me is if the demented goon teams up with Crispin Hellion Glover, and takes the act off to revive vaudeville.

  • haha “demented goon”. that’s just a naturally hilarious term.

    as i said up yonder, i liked Buffallo 66, and there’s always room for a self-obsessed loudmouth in the world of filmic affairs, is what i would imagine. I’d much prefer to read his interviews than spend much time with his real work, though.

    And the idea you propose, Jim, seems amazing to me. Crispin Glover rules.

  • Buffalo ’66 hit me exactly right: an arty, interesting, funny, strange film that I could actually bear watching. If you’ve ever been to Buffalo, you’ll know that he captures the feel of that town excellently.

    On the other hand, it’s not that hard to imagine Gallo being a real prick in real life.

    Ah, such is life and art…

  • Regarding the Ebert pan. I saw an episode of “Ebert and Roeper” where he reassessed the movie. What he saw at Cannes was a long, long, rambling edit, he said. Gallo recut and considerably shortened the film later. Ebert watched that and said it made the film much better, though he still didn’t like it especially. But, he said, it was no longer the unwatchable horror he’d seen at Cannes.

  • Julene

    I saw the name Crispin then suddenly had an 80’s McFly flash back !

  • Crispin RULED in as McFly. But i still think his best work is to be found in the criminally underrated Willard.

    And mike, i didn’t know that. That right there is interesting, and raises all sorts of questions about movie criticism in such conditions. Was the flick not finished, or did Gallo heed the advice? If it’s the former, then surely statements about This is the worst damn thing ever shouldn’t have been uttered, until such times as a complete version was available.

  • Glover has a new movie coming about called “What Is It” with a cast comprising Downs Syndrome people who we used to call mongoloids.

    Duke, “Willard” was awful, but paradoxically the video for the theme song, “Ben” was wonderful.

    The best edit of “The Brown Bunny” was the billboard in LA which was a photo of Chloe Sevenigy blowing Gallo.

  • Eric Olsen

    honestly, I’ve never even heard of the prick

  • sheri

    I fraking love mr gallo he is the man of my dreams. You go boyfriend.