I am not going to lie to you, I would love to go on The Amazing Race. Seriously, this is not just another part of my unhealthy obsession with 30 Rock (or, more accurately, their unhealthy obsession with me). I would love to go on… a race around the world.
Make no mistake, I never will. I will never even apply to go on The Amazing Race. Sure, if they were to contact me and beg (or even ask politely) I would, but I would never go out and apply.
Do watch the people on the show? They come off looking like terrible human beings. I choose whom to root for based solely on which group bothers me the least. I know that if I went on the show, I would be one of the bad people. I would be a yeller and a screamer and come off looking like a total tool.
Look at last night's episode and the team of Lorena and Jason. It said right there on the clue for "Milking It," the task in which one person a team had to milk a camel to stay quiet and calm. The clue said that the camels would spook if you didn't. Lorena, already high-strung, ended up with a camel that she had trouble milking. She cried and screamed and yelled. Needless to say (but I'm going to anyway), her difficulties with the camel only increased when she began to lose her cool. Now, here's why I can't go on the show. If I was Jason I very well may have completely lost it. I would have been livid, completely and totally livid with Lorena. Is she that dumb? Is she that stupid? Does she not want to win so badly that she completely does the opposite of what they're told to do? How Jason didn't completely lose it with her I have no idea.
Article comments
1 - CallmeMaddy
I'm dragging my best friend (who doesn't even watch the show) to the auditions in two years--when we are finally old enough. I would kill for an experience like this.
We wouldn't win. I'm not in good enough shape (I promised my friend that I would work out everyday if we were accepted).
He would scream at me, I would flip out at him. But it would be ok. I don't think I would run the race with anyone else.
Here's why.
Over the summer, my friend and I travelled to Washington together, just us. Our flight was cancelled and I knew that they lied to us about the reason. I flipped out and got escorted out of the airport. The only reason I survived was because of my friend.
It would be rough. I'd look like an idiot. But I had fun on that trip. Amazing Race is a once in a lifetime experience.
I call first roadblock!
2 - Brandon Valentine
Josh,
Great article! I had the very same discussion with my wife last night!
As a critic of one medium (in my case: film), it is extremely difficult not to extend criticism elsewhere. Place this "critical disease" in a setting where time and money are on the line, and disaster is evident. Simply put, I would come off as a criticizing a-hole.
I suppose the only solution would be if two highly-competitive, driven critics compete as a team. After all, no one takes criticism better than a critic. It's what we do all day long. If you can give it, you can take it. At least that's my philosophy. Plus, two asses just equal a bad team, not a villain and a victim (like Ronald and his daughter).
Okay, maybe Ebert & Roeper wouldn't do so well in The Race, but Josh and Brandon sounds like a winning team to me.
3 - Phillip Winn
It's all editing! :-)