So, by now everybody in America has seen Spider-man 2, or at least it looks that way, as the film continues to steamroll box office records. And only the curious are left to see Fahrenheit 9/11 now that the faithful have driven it to box office heights previously unheard of for documentary fare. Which leaves us with a relatively light slate of films opening this weekend.
King Arthur (PG-13)
Disney's big budget historical epic technically opened on Wednesday, perhaps in hopes of getting a jump on the weekend competition and Will Farrell's comedy, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (more on this one in a moment). The Mouse is probably also praying that Spidey's repeat business tapers off, because otherwise this movie was launched into no-man's land.
The $120 million film boasts a more "realistic" Arthur, as the Once and Future king is this time portrayed as a Roman lackey, having served in the Roman military for 15 years. He and his knights have only one mission left to fulfill before they receive their freedom: they must rescue the last Roman officials left in a northern village when the Saxons attack Britain. Arthur joins forces with Merlin, a former enemy, and Guinevere, a warrior maiden, to face the Saxons in battle.
The film stars Clive Owen as Arthur and Kiera Knightley as Guinevere - both are British stars, and Disney clearly hopes that the film will have global appeal in order to recoup its investment. In Hollywood's haste to capitalize upon the "revitalized" epic genre after the success of Gladiator, they haven't done all that well: Disney's own abysmal Alamo and the mixed success of Troy aren't exactly causing audiences to flock to the theaters.
Roger Ebert says the film "is not a bad movie," although that's much like damning it with faint praise. Slant Magazine says it is "revisionist mythmaking of the most bland variety," and complains that the film purports to tell the "true tale" of Arthur only by stripping away the "magic, mystery, and majesty of the fable" and replacing it with "grim n' grimy realism." In the wake of the stunning success of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, it seems that filmmakers are running scared: they don't want to be compared with the majesty of Middle-Earth, so they're deliberately running away from magical epics, replacing them with films that promise reality instead of myth.
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Article comments
1 - Chris Kent
I think it's abundantly clear only one good film has EVER been made about the King Arthur saga and that's Excalibur *cues wind and thunder*.
No film even remotely compares to that splendid Boorman/Wagner/Mirren classic. All other Camelot wannabes just swim in that flick's wake. Revisionist version?! Indeed...the story is a fantasy. How can one truly revise that which is fantasy? The kids can go see King Arthur. I shall watch Excalibur and laugh at the suffering fools.....
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hmm i've been wary of Excalibur since finding out its the National Front's favourite film of all time (the National Front are a bunch of neo-nazi motherfuckers over here in Britain). All that mythical england fascist nonsense made them all giddy, i suposse. But then, how hypocritical would The Duke be to chastise a film for sections of its audience? Very, is the considered scientific answer.
What im looking forward to here are Anchorman and Metallica Go To A Therapist. Anchorman will be wonderful, of that i have no doubt worth considering.
Also, Spiderman 2 has yet to surface in the UK, so yay for the impending film with Kirsten Dunst
3 - Chris Kent
Just because the musical score of Excalibur was written and composed by a fascist hate-monger and the Nazis loved to masturbate to such knight-clad images and you have a bunch of uneducated lower-income Brits giving it the German salute is no reason to dislike an incredibly dark and imaginative film version of Malory's Le Morte D' Arthur which was, by the way, filmed in your homeland.
Don't get all high and mighty on me El Senor Duke......I have a right to fantasize about Helen Mirren clad in black in a dark forest anytime I wish thank ye very much....and it don't mean I'm a racist.....just odd.....
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Heh, Chris, i wasn't for a second lumping you in with those folks what do the heiling and the oi'ing and so on. You're a much too intelligent lad to be associated with the likes of them in anyones mind, let alone the ridiculously analytical mind de duke.
5 - Shark
Is it just me, or is Will Farrell the most overrated, unfunny guy in film history?
(My wacky brother-in-law wanted me to watch a 10 minute (DVD) scene in Old School that he believed to be the funniest scene in film history; Farrell gets drunk at a college dance, takes off his clothes, and runs down the street nude -- only to be passed by his wife in a car w/friends. Hardy fuckin' har har. I didn't laugh once. I didn't even smile. I wanted to pick up a chair and crush my bro-in-law's skull for subjecting me to such a depressing piece of shit. Fart jokes. Chug-a-lug at college. mmm. Kill me now. -- Oh, and by the way; the Bro also thinks Seinfeld is funny, so I shoulda known...)
Anyway: Farrell - the guy is like Jay Leno -- every now and then, it's perversely fun to watch his train wreck on TV for a minute or two -- just to feel the hate and then the subsequent surges of superiority and rising self-esteem...
So I had the displeasure to channel surf onto the Today Show: an "interview" that perky little whore Katie Couric did with Farrell in character (anchorman guy). It was so pathetic I had to avert my eyes. The guy didn't have one 'joke' line prepared; he mumbled, um, um um ummmed at every set-up the little prostitute/marketing cheerleader tossed his way. It was like watching a witch burning.
This guy being a 'funny' hit is evidence that America's IQ is lower than its taste.
BTW: The funniest moment in a film is ALWAYS shown during the tv commercial/trailer. So be forewarned: if it's a small mammal gnawing at Ben Stiller, or a dog flying out the window, or Arnold giving Danny Devito a 'double-take' -- head for the fucking hills! (In "Elf" -- it was a tall elf guy getting "stuck" on an escalator. Who-hoo! Look out, Buster Keaton! I can't even tell you what Anchorman's "funniest" moment is purported to be; as I said, sometime's I just gotta avert my eyes.)
re: Excalibur - yeah, what Chris said.
6 - Phillip Winn
Shark, Yeah, he's overrated, but I want to hire his publicist. The dude is EVERWHERE!
7 - Bill Wallo
Without a doubt Ferrell's overrated, but he's supposed to be in like 10 movies in the next two years, so you can probably add "over-exposed" to the list as well.
8 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
I gotta say, that scene in Old School mentioned above had me rolling on the floor.
"We're streaking honey!"
Ferrel needs the material, for sure. His turn in Starksey And Hutch was fiarly insubstantial. But when he's on form, he's hilarious. It's all in the expressions, man. That Old School scene is the most convincing Drunk acting since Withnail And I.
And i got an IQ like you wouldn't believe man, is the truth of the matter. In fact, i was jsut talking to Stephen Hawking about this scene the other night. He says he laughed his ass off too.