Now that some of the more talented singers have been voted off after arguably strong performances, a lot of viewers have been wondering what the show is up to. Of course, the producers' official line is that “America Votes” — we just subtly and not so subtly try to manipulate the way you vote.
Anyway, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson both sang quite well according to the judges and by most measures. Brooke White and Jason Castro both seemed to be almost embarrassed to be on the show on Wednesday night because they were so rough on Tuesday. What’s going on? I mean if it’s not about the singing what’s the point of the show?
This morning, I got an invite to a special trade show attended by all of America’s major retailers. We’re talking Wal-mart, Target, the Home Shopping Network, and the Pentagon. While the rest of the world is concerned about the cost of fuel and food staples like rice and wheat, they’re busy trying to sell us items we can’t really use, though at amazingly low prices. Anyway, the talk of the convention was this season’s new American Idol products. With the crash of the CD market and the failure of the media spinoff scheme from last year (who can forget Justin Loves Kelly or Puck and Pickler?), Nigel et al. have jumped into the ultimate Idol venture, American Idol housewares.
Naturally the talk of the show was the David Archuleta Blender. It looks like your basic household blender and to be honest, that’s all it is, but it has a life-sized full length photo of a smiling David Archuleta on the box and glued to the glass. Anyway, whatever you throw into the David Archuleta blender, whether it’s John Lennon, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Dolly Parton, or Mariah Carey, 90 seconds later you pour out a rich, creamy, pop ballad. It doesn’t have an especially distinctive taste, but it’s inoffensive, wholesome, sweet, more or less vanilla with a noticeable but barely detectable Latin flavor. Adults might find it a little boring, but for some reason teenage girls absolutely love the smoothies it makes. They just see the Archuleta Blender and they immediately start squealing with delight and hugging the thing. A special safety circuit prevents their hands and faces from getting caught in the high speed blades.
Article comments
1 - Go DavidA
I love David A. I hope he wins
2 - Go DavidA
I love David A. I hope he wins
3 - chancelucky
There's probably a very good chance that David Arhculeta will win this year or at least someone named David.
4 - Jordan Richardson
That was good stuff. Thanks for the laughs!
5 - chancelucky
Many thanks for the kind comment,
Blake Doolittle
6 - David Davids
I have been hearing a lot, that David A'voice is golden. Okay, here we go, if the 2 David's voices are cars, David C's is Toyota and David A's is Ferrari. What can you say?
7 - chancelucky
I can say that a whole lot more people buy Toyotas than Ferraris. David Archuleta has a perfectly nice voice. My hesitation is about his capacity to develop a distinctive style, musical vision, and stage personality at this point in his career.
8 - Jordan Richardson
Hey man, David Archuleta's stage presence is dynamite. Those moves are incredible!
Standing there, putting one hand out, swaying from side to side, closing the eyes, half-opening the eyes....that's SHOWBIZ baby!
9 - chancelucky
Jordan,
you know it's actually nice to see that David A fan is just this enthusiastic for one of the contestants. One reason last season fell so flat was that I don't think many people were all that excited about the 2 finalists.
When I say something negative about Clay or sometimes even just favorable about Reuben, I still get threatening notes from Clay fans. Similar thing with Elliot, though they tend to be very polite kind of like Elliot himself.
10 - Alexandria Jackson
Pure genius!