My pal Ryan Seacrest and I met up the other night so he could pick up some chicks. On our way down to the club, there was this guy surrounded by attractive young ladies and I turned to Ryan and said, “Wow, wish I were good looking like that.”
Ryan’s eyes went wide and he said, “I wouldn’t know about whether any guy looks good. Besides, you’re a terrible dresser and have no idea how to accessorize.”
I tapped Ryan on the shoulder for a moment and he jumped back,”Whoa, no way any dude touches the guy who did Teri Hatcher and Sheryl Crow.”
“Sorry Ryan, forgot. By the way, how was your pedicure this afternoon?”
Ryan nods “You know, the same old same old. By the way, don’t you think that Simon Cowell is a fashion disaster? I just hate him so much.”
I quickly change the subject, “Did you see Gerald Green’s dunk over Nate Robinson last weekend? That was something else.”
“Nope, sorry was at the spa, but I sure love Kobe’s hair this year. Very today.”
Anyway, I was very excited about going out on the prowl with Ryan again tonight so I could get the inside scoop on the top 24, but Ryan decided to go hang with Ted Haggard this weekend to go shop for power tools and maybe go bear hunting after a little chicken dinner. After that, they’re using the power tools to remodel Ryan’s closet together. Apparently he had too many things to hang up and the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Idol Host refused to help him out - some silly business about principle.
So, sadly, I have no Ryan insight on whether Antonella Barba is hotter than Alaina Alexander in person or what he thought of Sabrina Sloan’s see through top. At the same time, I had the same reaction to the men that Ryan appeared to have. Ewwwww!
These can’t really be the twelve best male singers they found out of a hundred thousand people who tried out. I mean I’d remember what the best guy sang instead of the fact that Phil Stacy looked like Nosferatu and I wouldn’t be asking things like wow Blake Lewis did a pretty good impression of Sting with that Keane song so he might have been second best.