Once upon a time, in classic fairy tales like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, a prince came across the sleeping heroine and awoke her with a kiss. So with an Italian-American Prince (no, not Michael Corleone) in Lorenzo Borghese on board for the Bachelor Rome, reality-master Mike Fleiss delivered one of the great Bachelor moments in installment two. Our Reality Prince, who has a royal profile oddly similar to Prince Charles (maybe a bit of truth to this inbreeding stuff), has a beach date with six lovely young bachelorettes. One bachelorette, Kim, has too much vodka, makes several on-camera attractive noises, then falls asleep while waiting for the Prince to select her for one on one time.
The Prince comes upon our bikini clad Sleeping One Off Beauty and instead of sweetly kissing her back to consciousness in the style of the fairy tale, he chooses to tickle her face with the tip of his index finger. Our heroine awakes and she begins using language that I’ve never heard in any fairy tale. Midway through her tirade about “What the #$# wrong with taking a nap? Who the #$#* are you to &&#$ laugh at me instead of with me….” Kim, the aspiring princess from Southern California, who, like Snow White, has a day job in interior design, realizes she’s swearing in front of his highness, double takes, and rather impressively improvises with “Oh, wow, I thought you were the waiter.”
The noble Prince, who in these modern times spends his working time serving his people by promoting a line of royally-endorsed pet spa products (I’m going to have to retire from reviewing reality TV if just reading the promo copy is going to keep being this much better than the things I come up with), exhibits admirably royal charm and politesse by telling her, “It’s no big deal, same thing happened last week when I was at Buckingham Palace. I took a cocktail waitress from Paramus as my date. Nice girl, don’t remember her name, but nice girl just had a little too much champagne and threw up all over Prince Harry’s shoes.”
CW: “Wow, the queen invited you to the palace?”
LB: “ She has a lot of dogs and I sent her a year’s supply.”
CW: “I didn’t know she’s fond of dogs.”
LB: “Well, she did ask me to ship it all to Prince Charles, something about it being Lady Camilla’s birthday.”
Sorry, back again. The political correctness police brought me in for questioning for some reason.
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1 - Joan Hunt
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