Thus, I am to understand the secret meaning of life involves an explanation that our troubles and sorrow are basically caused by demonic possession, as it were, by brainwashed alien ghosts. Holy crap, those people are more wigged out than the frickin' Catholics! Parker and Stone are comedy genius, but they couldn't make stuff like this up.
They've become pretty good at addressing religious themes, and giving good lessons in religious history. They did a historical explanation "All About the Mormons," but this Scientologist piece is more fun. Particularly, that is, because this is just way more transgressive - literally asking for trouble.
The Mormons got a reasonably generous review. Yeah, of course Joseph Smith just made that silly Book of Mormon up out of the blue, but they concede that the church works pretty well for a lot of people. Especially, they recognized Mormons as good neighbors.
Whereas the Scientologists are clearly presented as a huge worldwide scam. The church is nothing but a huge money scam. Much emphasis is placed specifically on a $240 counseling fee. Everyone that follows them is an utter dupe.
Oh, of special interest to African-Americans and for that just plain twist of pure silliness that makes for a good South Park, dig R. Kelly's extended songs pleading for Tom to come out the closet. That's just plain goofiness, climaxing with a really cute duet with the closeted duo of Tom Cruise and John Travolta.
The Scientologists are just the perfect target for South Park. They're really good comedic material — plus they're big bullies. Famously, Scientologist lawyers have shown up at people's houses with federal marshalls to seize their computers, claiming copyright and trademark infringement. They do not play.
But, Trey Parker and the boys of South Park do, though. You know they would SO love to have Scientologists sue them, 'cause they know they're big enough to fight back. Oh no, don't throw me in that briar patch!
UPDATE
"Trapped in the Closet" image gallery.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Pete Blackwell
I particularly liked the work of the animation team of John Smiths.
2 - GoHah
It's about time someone further exposed Scientology's more crackpot elements. About fifteen or twenty years ago The Los Angeles Times had a series that detailed all of these "brainwashed alien ghost" beliefs, but I've never seen or heard anyone since then even broach the subject. Go, Team South Park!
3 - Robbie
Thank you South Park! You guys are the greatest.
4 - Suavehouse
don't forget the Jane Smiths too ... very honorable of Parker and Stone to protect the identities of their animation team so they wouldn't be attacked and harassed by the church of $cientology
5 - Al Barger
Suavehouse, those Scientology schmucks have picked the wrong pack to screw with if they start with Trey Parker or any of the crew. I WISH they'd bring the pain. Sonsabitches want a piece of Cartman, do they?
Besides which, Trey Parker will take that pouch of Jew gold that they carry around their necks, and buy every shyster in town to clean their clocks. Something like this would be just exactly what he'd want to have money for.
Or they could go for fisticuffs in the parking lot. These guys would obviously be down with that, too.
6 - Alisha Karabinus
Did you REALLY type out fisticuffs?
Al, I swear, someone froze you in 1927 and thawed you out a few years ago for kicks.
7 - JCBronson
Who knows? I suppose the truth is out there and I don't have any reason (proof) to believe any which way about such things. But I do know one thing... The church of Scientology works very hard to improve the IQs of its parishoners. My sister in law improved her IQ by 20 points in about a month just with the Church's Purification Rundown (a sauna, exercise, and vitamin regimen). And I know THAT isn't 'bogus' because I personnally tested Scientologists (Rounded up parishoners and asked them to take and retake the IQ test, delivered the IQ test, graded them myself and then kept the records in my own little office). I was testing Scientologists full time for several months in 1993 and I saw their IQ's continually rise while they were receiving their Auditing and Scientology training in Clearwater, Florida. So when people say that Scientology is 'full of crap' I have to wonder... If the church is just a big money making scam out to brainwash it's members, why would it work so hard to make it's members more intelligent?
8 - Alisha Karabinus
Groovy, rockin, yay. Now provide us with some evidence that IQ really means anything at all. And please, where was the test conducted? Was it done by Church members?
And from your confusing "its" and "it's," I'm gonna assume you've not been through this regimen.
Just sayin.
9 - GoHah
Must...control...IQ of Death...
10 - Al Barger
JC, your arguments are irrelevant to me. It's entirely likely that a good health and meditation regimen will improve your mental functioning, however you measure it. That's not the issue.
Nor is the contents of their ridiculous Xenu story. It's dumb, but so's pretty much every other religion, except for mine of course.
My issue is that they're big hateful ruthless bullies more than willing to walk all over anyone who disagrees with them. For this they need to squashed like insects.
OBRS, what would be the cool word to use rather than "fisticuffs"?
11 - GoHah
I always find that a good alternative to "engaging in fisticuffs" is to just to swoon with the vapors and call for the smelling salts.
12 - Al Barger
Whereas MY preferred alternative to fisticuffs is an aluminum baseball bat.
13 - GoHah
You mad, impetuous fool!
14 - Alisha Karabinus
I'm a fan of the collapsible baton, myself. It's stylish and portable.
15 - Josh. Im 17
I have enver heard the word "fisticuffs" in my life.
They really can't sue Stone and Parker, because it's an obvious parody.
16 - Alisha Karabinus
You should read more, my dear. I don't even have ten years on you and you're making me feel old!
Books, books, books. The world's greatest learning tools.
17 - Al Barger
Howdy, Josh. "Fisticuffs" is a perhaps archaic term for fistfighting. Duking it out in the parking lot.
Perhaps our beloved revolutionary sweetheart Alisha could break down the etymology for you with her collapsible baton, which is an excellent choice: practical, stylish and ladylike.
You wouldn't think the Scientologists have any legitimate ground for a suit, but the thing is that they are known for being extremely legally aggressive. See THIS LINK for background on their history.
Hubbard's stories about Xenu have never been published, obviously, and they are extremely sensitive, as the stories make them look like utter fools to people who have not been heavily indoctrinated for some years.
Among other things, they will claim copyright and trademark violations. They have repeatedly managed to show up at their critics homes with federal marshalls to seize computers and mess up people's lives.
18 - Josh. I'm 17.
If they do choose to sue the creators of South Park, then it would be like the Al Franken V. Fox case.
19 - Silas Kain
Ah, the irony. South Park reveals more truths in its jests than Tom Cruise could reveal by quoting Hubbard-Script. This silly boy has taken such risky business in the kidnap and brainwashing of Ms. Holmes. What's going to happen when she gets de-programmed?
20 - Alisha Karabinus
Perhaps our beloved revolutionary sweetheart Alisha could break down the etymology for you with her collapsible baton, which is an excellent choice: practical, stylish and ladylike.
I am nothing if not a lady.
21 - Andrew
Why would the part with R. Kelly be "of special interest to African-Americans" exactly? Are white people, Asian-Americans, etc. not interested in black celebrities?
22 - Al Barger
Andrew, if you followed the link in the story on the R Kelly thing, it would take you to my notes on The Boondocks on the episode "The Trial of R Kelly." There's a particularly cute bit on the topic quoted when young Master Huey confronts the prosecutor that I specifically had in mind.
Short answer, this particular black celebrity is mostly a big thing among black folk. Everybody's into Cosby, and even a gangsta like Snoop is mostly selling to white kids. Then there are some like Kelly that are, for whatever reasons, primarily of interest to a black audience.
23 - D Smith
Scientology and it's members are also famous for the use and spreading of
misinformation, especially against those who would oppose or disagree with their belief.
This noted, JCBronson is a brilliant example of either a higher level member trying to
paint a different picture on this discussion -OR- a lower and not so bright member trying
to stick up for big dog.
IQ is not a proven science, it is a minute guideline, scientology even discredits it in
some of their ramblings. The church does nothing to increase or better the brain power of
it's members unless except to strengthen their view of Scientology.
24 - Scott Butki
Good piece and review, Al. Happy T day.
25 - Silas Kain
Scientology and it's members are also famous for the use and spreading of misinformation, especially against those who would oppose or disagree with their belief.
That's true of most organized religions emanating from Abraham. Christians believe the only way to Heaven is via Jesus Christ. That's a bit of a selfish notion considering the majority of the world is not Christian. Scientologists offer self-loathing people a safe haven from the traditional religions. While it may work for many on the surface; I think that Mr. Cruise's behavior as of late is a clear indication that there's something inherently lacking in Scientology's core. Many celebrities have jumped on the Hubbard train and I have to question the real motivation behind doing so. I suggest that Trey Parker & Co. are not too far off the beaten path. The Church of Scientology affords celebrities an opportunity to escape from their real selves in favor of preserving their Q ratings and marketability. A company by any other name would be Amway, Shaklee or Wal Mart.