I see in Kody Brown’s eyes a kind of zealous stare to which I am not a stranger. Perhaps he—and I am not saying that he doesn’t believe in every aspect of the Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saint religion—feels a drive to display their lives to the public, a drive which clearly the wives share, to one extent or another.
Possibly they believe that by doing this, they will be able to alter the state of polygamous families, to bring on a lawsuit that will validate their lifestyle.
One more word: one constantly feels, watching Sister Wives, that the three other wives, despite Kody’s rather hyper assurance that he loves them, are clearly insecure. They talk a great deal about the time they will spend with him, the substance of their own personal relationship with him. But is it a bit like having a relationship with Jesus? Is the reality of their marriages with them still a reality? Robyn has to insist that he call them while they are on their honeymoon together. The reality of marriage to many men is simply that youth and beauty are the bottom line of romance. Does Kody Brown love his other wives still as lovers, or more as security-figures, mothers of his children, now? (I appreciate that the Browns say that the children have the right to do whatever they want when they grow up, and not to be forced to marry anyone they don’t wish to marry. This makes them a lot more palatable, certainly to me.)
Do the other wives simply sense that their relationship with him is not the same as his relationship with Robyn? Meri, wife #1, tells him bluntly over the phone that they are unhappy with the long honeymoon and the entire situation.
Kody wants Robyn to have the experience of being with him alone; he wants to be with her alone, too—and he seems to believe that the tension surrounding his marriage to Robyn is normal, an unavoidable transition that comes with taking a new wife.
I cannot help but feel that real love should include everyone in the relationship, no matter how many that relationship contains. Do Kody’s wives even have a choice about what he does? Could any of them say, “We can’t handle another wife?” It’s unclear what the story is, though Meri, the first wife, apparently suggested Robyn to Kody as a possible fourth wife. The group of Browns has spoken of the marriage as being a “democracy,” but is it really?
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Article comments
1 - Jim
What a sensitive approach to a situation that many people would just recoil against. I've never seen this show but I enjoyed reading your perspective.
2 - Nan Simon
Jim, thanks! I am glad you liked it. It's a whole other world, and by and large I am glad to be married to one man now, but I can understand the feelings of the sister wives perhaps more than most.
Ladybelle
3 - Nan Simon
PS the above is not by Nan Simon. Mistake. By Ladybelle Fiske.
4 - Realist
You shouldn't be using your sister's email, Ladybelle!
The aspect that fascinates me about this show is the topic of this post: why the other women tolerate in-house competition. I know no woman who is willing to share her man with another woman, and yet these women do.
Up until I read this article, I thought that Kody had something special going on, but now I see that what he has is a flock of hens with self-respect issues who are deep in denial against their own feelings regarding their complex relationship. In order for this cluster arrangement to work, their feelings have to be subverted under the guise of religious observance. As such, I don't buy it, and I fear that Kody's idyllic existence is going to explode. He isn't treating Robyn as he did the others, and there is clear resentment over this fact. Robyn's warning to call the other wives and tell them he loves them isn't going to fix things. His other women will suddenly decide that they have had enough and want out, leaving him to deal with the wreckage. Will the show cover that episode?
5 - Ladybelle Fiske
I hope so, Realist! I look forward to it. (Was at Nan's house for Thanksgiving-- that's how it happened that her name is there-- an odd irony).
Kody, frankly, seems like a "nice jerk" to me -- and there are more of those in both the monogamist and polygamist worlds than we'd like to think. You're probably right. Robyn's special and this is not going to change, no matter how much they say "we'll settle into it"... Meri, I feel, realizes this already, being quite bright. Yet, I like the women and hope for the best for them all. Glad you liked the article.
6 - Jordan Richardson
Sounds like a very interesting program. I've not seen it, but I'm going to have to have a look at it now. These sorts of relationships are fascinating.
Very nice review, Ladybelle.
7 - Ladybelle Fiske
Thank you, Jordan.
8 - wanda shepard
sister wives tv show is one i like watching and should make more like this one , great job keep up good shows
9 - Madea
I can honestly say that I like this show a lot better than seeing Kate Plus Eight. this woman saw that there was money to be made by pimping those eight kids out just as the Duggar's are doing with their kids. In the case of 19 kids and counting, this woman is IMO having all of these kids in order to keep that show going. having a large family is nothing "NEW" because, that was the norm back in the day and, no one profited from it either.
10 - Rebecca Nay
I know i don't think i could be apart of that life style .I do believe in a world were single mothers and fathers and same sex couples are raising children.I believe the more support are children of the future have the better no matter the circumstances And these mothers love there children as well as each other. And i personally think its wonderful.Before you judge remember we all live under the blanket of freedom, self expression,the freedom of religion and how we worship and who we worship and the right to live are lives how each of us see's fit.
11 - Rebecca Nay
The differance between Kody and any other man.you have to admire that
12 - Isabella Fiske McFarlin
The main thing that bothers me (in ANY religion) that people do in the "name of God" is striking children. Adults can leave, they can refuse, they can fight back. Children, often severely punished in the name of religion, are unable to leave or to fight back. It seems to me that the women in this marriage are adults, and can choose for themselves what they want to do. (Of course, it can be hard to swim against the current of one's upbringing and Or it appears that they can, at least-- though we can hardly know all of it.
Kody appears to be an amiable fellow (as long as he gets his way, anyhow). I personally wouldn't want to marry him, but chacun a son gout (To each his/her own), as the French say. It's just a matter of preference.
Love comes in many strange shapes and guises. As long as no one is getting hurt, and as long as the children are well-cared for, I am inclined not to be too critical "Judge not..."
Thanks for reading and writing back!
13 - Isabella Fiske McFarlin
Whoops, sorry for the broken sentence up there... I didn't see it somehow and there seems to be no way to go back and edit it now. I'll try to find out.
14 - Isabella Fiske McFarlin
Hello All,
I will be reviewing the second season of SisterWives on a new feature on Blogcritics, TV OPEN THREAD. I will post briefly after the show (leaving some time for it to air in the West) and all who wish to are welcome to comment, so we can chatter about our first impressions of the episode. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Isabella