TV Review: Saturday Night Live, October 29, 2005- Lance Armstrong & Sheryl Crow - Page 2

But the funniest thing all night was her sketch with Armstrong. She's just arriving home from a long tour, and Lance Armstrong insists on playing her this song he's written for her- with musical accompaniment by the gardeners. Armstrong's song was of course actively and purposely hideous, as he's pronouncing himself now her equal as a songwriter.

The thing that made it so funny is that Armstrong's stupid song proposing that they move to Africa so that Sherl Crow can be his "Nubian princess" was a more memorable, moving and interesting piece of music than his woman's "real" songs. Sheryl Crow is just awful, the very textbook definition of mediocrity.

I would have been throwing stuff at the screen if those utterly flavorless corporate country folk rock food products had been in any way memorable. As it was though, the songs were so boring that my mind drifted away to random thoughts mid-song before the annoyance could build to the activity of blasting that tv with a 20 gauge shotgun in the blessed name of Elvis.

How awful is Sheryl Crow's music? It's so bad that I came back to the computer after this show and listened to some Mariah Carey to get the taste out of my mouth. Seriously, this Crow crap made "We Belong Together" start to sound personal and uncalculated. Sheryl Crow makes Mariah Carey start to sound like soul music.

I'm sure that Ms Crow's a fine human being, however. I'm sure she'll be a great wife for Mr Armstrong. I hope she bears him many fine beautiful children that will keep her busy and away from music.

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Article Author: Al Barger

Unreformed hawkish Hoosier hillbilly Al Barger runs the still squeezin' down the psychodelic Kentucky moonshine at More Things. What with the paranoid religious visions, the Pentecostal music, visions of God and anarchy running amok and such, somebody …

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  • 1 - JCB

    Oct 30, 2005 at 4:17 am

    I think you are being to harsh on Ms. Crow. She has certainly had very fine moments like her debut album and her rare rendition of Led Zeppellin's Dyer Maker. Definitely, not all her music is crap.

  • 2 - Al Barger

    Oct 30, 2005 at 1:28 pm

    JCB, if anything, I'm too generous to Ms Crow- though I will grant that I haven't listened to her very closely.

    Short version, she had ONE half-listenable song. It had a couple of half decent hooks, though it lacked any soul or any hint of musical innovation that would make it memorable. That was a pretty long time ago at that. Playing a bar or so of that in the Indigo Girls sketch was WAY the height of her musical performance last night.

    Other than that, I know I've heard a number of songs from successive albums, but not a thing the least bit memorable.

    Perhaps I'd be surprised, but I find it extremely unlikely that this wimpette would do anything worthwhile with a Led Zeppelin song. Tori Amos- si! Sheryl Crow- IXNAY.

  • 3 - Michael J. West

    Oct 30, 2005 at 3:00 pm

    I'm sure that Ms Crow's a fine human being, however.

    Absolutely! She, for example, would probably never abandon three children and a spouse who had nursed her through cancer so she could take up with Sheryl Crow — I mean, Lance Armstrong!

  • 4 - S

    Oct 30, 2005 at 11:56 pm

    FOREVER LADY

  • 5 - Lono

    Oct 31, 2005 at 1:00 am

    I enjoyed the show, and find it roughly as strong this season as it has been anytime over the years. Bashing SNL in the media is aking to every damn reporter here citing that every single other sports star in history is 'no John Elway'.

    I like Sheryl Crow. She is hot, and her music is not bad. Best joke of the night was the piece during the news update (which truly does anchor and carry the show these days) Tina Fey referenced a report about men who smoke have less children. Right after that, in passing, she dropped in 'especially those men who smoke polls'.

    holy crap how did that get to air? That was some seriously funny and mean satire. That is the stuff America wants to hear.

  • 6 - Al Barger

    Oct 31, 2005 at 1:43 am

    Oh yeah, forgot about those men "smoking poles." Slipped that one in real casual in passing, didn't she?

  • 7 - ostrova

    Oct 31, 2005 at 6:03 am

    SNL stopped being funny a very long time ago but it is one of the great showcases for product such as Sheryl Crow, whose songs are sort of Gap jeans for your ears. Her boyfriend is a phenomenal athlete with questionable personal ethics. And BTW I didn't watch.

  • 8 - WILLA

    Oct 31, 2005 at 7:52 pm

    I CANNOT STAND THAT UGLY BUZZARD OR CROW AS SHE CALLS HERSELF. SHE'S FULL OF HERSELF, POMPOUS AND A LIBERAL ASS. MUSICALLY SHE REEKS, AND I WISH SHE WOULD FLY AWAY WITH HER BEAU AND GIVE US ALL A BREAK. BESIDES SHE HAS HAD SOME MAJOR PLASTIC SURGERY. SHE WAS AN ABSOLUTE DOGFACE.

  • 9 - Al Barger

    Oct 31, 2005 at 8:38 pm

    Yes Lono. As to satire, Hammond's Bill O'Reilly is particularly effective. A lot of the stuff on SNL is more ribbing people. His Chris Matthews is cute parody that Matthews himself is naturally very proud of.

    The O'Reilly stuff, however, really does make the bastard look bad. You can believe that Bill O'Reilly does not enjoy what they're doing to him. Ha!

    Willa, I share your disdain for Sheryl Crow's music, but you have to admit that she's pretty hot. I mean, c'mon. If she's had plastic surgery, then it must have worked.

  • 10 - Joanie

    Oct 31, 2005 at 10:10 pm

    I'm not a Crow fan in the least and spared myself the bile that surely would have come had I watched this episode. Now, I wish I had. Sounds like there were a few pearls to be found amongst the pork rinds.

  • 11 - Cycle Friendly

    Nov 01, 2005 at 4:15 am

    Wow - that's quite a nasty jab at Lance at the end of your article (I'm not going to say much about Cheryl, but I couldn't agree more with your comments - when I think of Cheryl in ANY way I think of fingernails down a chalkboard). Cheryl might find it hard to bear Lances children - that's one of the fallouts of testicular cancer. Although Lance had some of his semen frozen prior to his surgery I still think it's a jab at Lance. Booooooooo!!!!! :o(

  • 12 - Laurencia7

    Nov 02, 2005 at 11:53 am

    hey does anyone have, or know of a site where I can find the "Days of our Lives" sketch?

    PLEASE email me

  • 13 - The Producer

    Nov 03, 2005 at 12:03 pm

    Of all the music to come out of the '90s, Sheryl Crow's work has to be near the top of the list of great musicians to blossom. She's a brilliant songwriter, and she has the awards (grammy's anyone?) and critical acclaim (well, of real critics anyway) to back that up. She's still a strong musical force (Good is Good would be proof of that) and to say she's not is evidence of poor taste in music/style.

    However, it would seem that the majority of reviews here are just senseless rips at the successful. So certainly any subject of these reviews takes them with a grain of salt. If that.

  • 14 - B

    Nov 05, 2005 at 11:19 am

    Lance Armstrong should stick to bicycle racing. the funniest part of the show was the intro, with Darrel Hammond playing the Vice President. from there the show went downhill all the way. usually the guest host delivers a monologue, but stooge papparazzi and other sorts had to be inserted in the audience to have dialogue with him. and even that was not funny. Armstrong is definitely not comedic. he seems like a rather boring guy, and Crow's music was equally boring, so I guess they're perfect for each other. but then how can one write anything other than boring love songs if the lover and loved one boring?

  • 15 - Kazim

    Nov 23, 2005 at 4:39 pm

    Guys, is it possible to get a taping of this Lance SNL episode? I really need it! Will check back here soon.
    Thanks.

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