Let’s face it. I’m addicted to a really silly show.
Prison Break is the heartwarming story of structural engineer Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller). Michael’s life is great until his brother, ne’er do well Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell), is framed for the murder of Terrance Steadman, the brother of the Vice President of the United States, who isn’t even really dead. Conveniently Michael’s firm designed Lincoln’s prison, so to save his brother, who is facing the electric chair, Michael tattoos the plans of Fox River Penitentiary all over his body, concocts a plan that Einstein would have been incapable of, has himself tossed into Fox River and leads a breakout of basically every prisoner lucky enough to figure out what he’s doing there.
If sanity ruled the airwaves, Prison Break would have lasted two years. Michael escapes in year one, and exposes the mass conspiracy set up by the mysterious “Company” in year two, but American television isn’t very good at leaving the public wanting more, so the Jump the Shark website exists and Prison Break will go on until no one can remember why they originally watched it.
Entering season three’s premiere, let’s take a look at where we are, AKA the body count:
- Veronica Donovan, Lincoln’s lover and lawyer – killed by the Company
- Nick Savrinn – lawyer who sort of helped Veronica – killed by the Company
- Frank Tancredi- Governor of Illinois - killed by the Company
- Aldo Burrows – Michael and Lincoln’s mysterious father – formerly a member of the Company – shot and killed by Agent Mahone, a man being blackballed to work for the Company
- Terrence Steadman – Pseudo murder victim – committed suicide
- Charles Westmoreland – aka DB Cooper – died while escaping from Fox River
- John Abruzzi – mob boss – shot by Mahone after escaping
- Charles “Haywire” Patoshik – shot by Mahone after escaping
- David “Tweener” Apolskis – shot by Mahone after escaping
- William Kim – evil Company agent – shot by Sara at the end of season two
Essentially, if you get cast in Prison Break, celebrate a little, but don’t make any long term plans.
Other Goofy Issues
Vice President Caroline Reynolds became President after she had the existing President poisoned. Unfortunately, Patricia Wettig has commitments to another television show and was all but non-existent in season two. Additionally, since Lincoln was cleared of killing her brother at the end of last season, one would expect her corrupt Company-directed Presidency to be in a whole lot of trouble, but maybe the show has decided to just pretend this character never existed and move on.