TV Review: Painkiller Jane - "Toy Soldiers" - Page 5

Part of: Painkiller Jane

Vasco shouts "got him" and she finds Malley (Again, somehow. Dead guy, no thermals, but whatev). He's 40 miles away from the president. Searching the IRS database, Vasco discovers that Malley may be a source of money and may be funding some army. That little tidbit is never mentioned again. Her tracking takes her inside a regular-looking home, talking to parents of a kid named Eric. Albert was their gardener. They say Albert and their son were close.

Red flags and single eyebrows go up.

The teen Eric shows. He's a sullen blonde with big lips and a permanent look of disdain. Except he's playing with plastic Army men, saying the army men are his friends because they don't talk back. And Albert - dead Albert - is sitting across the table from him, looking very much alive but with a dazed smile on his face and he doesn't/can't say anything.

Vasco looks over where Eric and his army men used to be. He was in the basement, which has a door to the outside. There's some electronic device there, which has a flashing map. That's lucky, huh?

"The Stattler property down by the river," says the mom, "but there's nothing there." Except there is. Some kind of war game is what it looks like, with Eric and Albert standing near. This zombie army - the toy soldiers - is training. They get shot, stop for a split and then continue firing.

Vasco pulls up in black woolen cap.

Eric has some kind of major control over these people. He's the Neuro. He controls the gunfire and all the characters. He makes them shoot each other between the eyes over and over. Jane gets so engrossed she doesn't notice two dead soldiers coming up beside her. They grab her and take her to Eric.

"What are you doing here?" he asks her.

"Finding out how a lonely boy spends his time."

He points out that he's not hurting anyone. He's playing a live-action video game.

"Doesn't Albert deserve to live in peace? Don't all of them?" Vasco asks.

The two soldiers grab Vasco and hold a knife to her neck as Strikeforce Vicodin somehow finds her and they have a grenade launcher and a scoped rifle. They can't get a clear shot, as they don't know Albert's the dead guy. Suddenly the army starts firing their way and woman-hater King gets shot in the arm as he gets a bead on Eric.

The knife is up against her throat close enough to produce a wide, deep cut. It seems Eric sees it heal. The SF crew is shooting at zombies, which can't be killed. They are decked out only as ultra pale people not with bodies falling apart in ripped clothes and teeth falling out. As Eric, Albert, and the zombies stay close, McBride has no choice but to shoot at Jane, to get to Eric. Boom. They both go down.

Continued on the next page Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4 — Page 5 — Page 6

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Article Author: Temple Stark

A graphic designing wordsmith, with a decade-plus career in community journalism behind me. Take a mean photo, have a new camera, and have been riding the wave of Twitter for more than a year.

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Article comments

  • 1 - Temple Stark

    Apr 23, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    This is on Tuesday night as well. I had the thought earlier today that I like calling this "TV Recap" better. However, I should either do more of a review, which with me would just be a lot of nitpicking, or change title to "Recap" in the future.

    Is this too long. Too much detail? I'm thinking yes on both but could be wrong.

    - Temple, thinking out loud here

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