House tries a new method of pain management which doesn't sit well with his colleagues.
“This is the only ‘me’ you get.” A simple declaration by the resigned House (Hugh Laurie in a raw and surprisingly emotional performance) at the end of the newest House, M.D. episode “The Softer Side." Acceptance by one’s family and friends frames this episode’s narrative, a theme explored for both patient and doctor. Set against the diagnostic backdrop of an adolescent boy with “genetic mosaicism” (he has both XX and XY chromosomes, making him equally male and female), the episode touches on several key themes that so often make House compelling TV. …
Article comments
— go to most recent comments26 - Helena 2
Barbara, admit it, your reviews are huddy sided. That's the reason you post your reviews in the huddy's sites, and not in the hilson's or hameron's sites. admit it. ;)
27 - Kirpio
Barbara - a great review again! The reason I come for your reviews is because you and the majority of your readers seem to watch the same show as I do, and I enjoy the different elements that you and your commenters add to my understanding of the episode. Thanks :D
As has been said above, he sees his leg pain as a barrier to women, the last moments of season one were heartbreaking as he attempted to walk without his cane for Stacey, and then leaving for Cuddy's without it earlier this season. Wilson and Cuddy acted out of concern, to counteract his perceived addiction to a harder drug, ignoring the rationalisations he always produces... it's not their fault that this time, the drug was working exactly as he wanted.
His decision at the end was typical House, it made me think back to 'son of a coma guy' where he explains why he became a doctor: it doesn't matter if you're a freak, as long as you're right. With or without pain, he is a freak (he is reliant on methadone for his pain relief, and is still, to his mind, physically disfigured). If his judgement is clouded, if he isn't right, he has nothing. He isn't willing to sacrifice the respect he gains for his medical abilities for a 'normal' life (and he does have respect - even the CIA come calling for him!)
Anyway... yay for the return of the clinic, yay for Taub's hilarious Foreman impressions, and yay for 13 getting a credible storyline (lets never mention the 'tumour-for-a-day' again).
28 - Kathy
Helena 2: Admit it Helena2, so is David Shore and Katie Jacob. One or both of them have stated at various times that they will be exploring the relationship of these 2 at least for this season, that if anyone could have a relationship with House it would be Cuddy, and we get hints that it won't work out. So who are mere mortals like Barbara to disagree with the producers. Whether you like it or not, it is a Huddy season.
Hameron romance is dead as a dodo except in fanfictions. She's with Chase, clearly happily now as seen in Unfaithful and Cameron even encouraged Cuddy to tell House her true feelings i.e. that she wanted House over for Rachel's naming ceremony
Hilson - well we had Birthmark and the Bromance; which by the way Barbara commented favourably on.
29 - barbara barnett
Thank you all for your kind comments about this blog. Like Quartier Latin, I've been interested in all of the House relationships. From Cameron, through Stacy and now Cuddy. Even the (overused cliche alert)bromance of House and Wilson. I've written about them all and positively.
But as you guys have noted in various ways, this year is the year of House and Cuddy. Do I have "Huddy" lenses. I don't really think I do. I tend to get caught up in the angstiness of the relationships what they show about House, who is really why I watch the show. Right now, i think his heart is with Cuddy. And like Kathy, I think Shore and Jacobs are in that camp as well.
30 - Jaim
Barbara, I get what you are saying about House's leg, but I also feel that if Cuddy and Wilson said nothing of their concerns then House would feel like they didn't really care about him. He dislikes their interference, but he would also be lost without it. It's somewhat of a double-edged sword. They are the only two people who have known him a long time and have consistently shown their affection for him.
I think that the ultimatum wasn't completely out of line because Cuddy has seen House go through alot of critical health scares. She is his boss and although her meddling had little to do with that aspect of their relationship, she had to assert her disapproval professionaly as well. At that moment I think she just feared the worst of what the methadone could do to not only his well being but his medical career. She has reluctantly resigned herself to the fact that he is a vicodin addict. She sees that he can't function well without it. But methadone is a whole new variable. She has no idea how this will change him. So, I think she felt she had to do something before he really went off the deep end.
It's difficult for an addict to see the extent to which they effect those that love them. I'm sure there have been times when Cuddy and Wilson didn't know if he was alive or dead because of an overdose(Merry Little Christmas comes to mind). I think that it's hard for friends and family to ever give you the benefit of the doubt when they have literally been through hell and back because of said addiction. He has lost their trust in regards to this issue. I think he has to accept that they we always be weary of his choices when it comes to drugs because he has given them no reason to think otherwise.
I have read some other comments and some people think Cuddy was trying to change him, but I think Cuddy, like I mentioned before, just wants him to be less miserable. She hates the role she played in his leg and that guilt will always effect her decisions to better his life. I think she changed her mind about the methadone because of this guilt and also because she didn't want to lose him. She'll always be weary of the drug use which she should be. No one wants to see their close friend become a slave to a drug. But much like the vicodin use, at that last scene in the episode, I think she was resigned to his usage of the methadone.
31 - Monica
Kathy,
I don't think you get my point. Everyone is entitled to write anything that they like on their blogs. And of course everyone is entitled to their opinion. But this doesn't appear to be a personal blog site, it seems to be a critic's site. And these reviews are the only ones linked also linked to LJ and forums too. I read all the major blog reviews, like Alan Sepinwall's the a.v, club, etc, etc. etc., but non of them are anywhere close to as one sided as Barbara's. I really don't see this as a review, I see what Barbara writes as mostly a Huddy analysis of each episode.
That's fine, everyone is entitled to do that. But please, then one should not call themselves a critic writing a review if one is solely looking for evidence of their own ship's fantasies.
A fangirl's blog post? Yes, absolutely.
A critics review? Absolutely not.
Again, Barbara, no offense intended at all, really, but I am entitled to my opinion too.
32 - ns
It would be none of Cuddy's business if House was on methadone if he were merely a friend. However, let's not forget that she is his BOSS and the hospital administrator. So, it is her business and, ultimately, she goes against her own better judgement and agrees to let him use the drug (and even administer it herself), not because she was actually doing her job, but because she liked that it made him nicer, or maybe because he shaved. Sheesh!
Wilson, as a friend, makes the same argument. Sheesh! Everyone wants House to be nicer I guess. Or perhaps they just believe that being without the pain was making him happy - which it was.
Happy enough that he was obviously willing to leave the hospital and his job there in order to be without the pain.
In the end, he gives up the drug as it was affecting his work. Which was, of course, the right decision.
The degree of rightness in this character where one would almost certainly think he would be absolutely wrong is extraordinary. I love that about House.
33 - Gina
Monica, critics are not supposed to be objective. They state an opinion, whether it's theirs or their media vehicle, but an opinion nonetheless.
Frankly, I call this bitterness. I do not want House and Cuddy to be together and yet I find myself agreeing with Barbara's reviews most of the time. And if her reviews were actually biased and/or coming from someone who watches "a different show" than the one currently airing, I guess the folks at FOX would choose another reviewer to link their reviews to.
34 - Nate
Hi Barbara,
"This is the only me you get." that may be the most truthful and open house will ever be around Cuddy. They may have sex in the future, we may even see it, but those words describe --and dissect-- house down to the very tee. I've read other reviews on this episode, and almost everyone thinks that the writers are scared of change. They wonder why they keep waving something different in front of house's face, only to return the same way by the end of the episode. I don't agree with them on any level. Sure, change may be waved in house's face on many occasions, but it is becoming more and more clear that he could change, the only thing is, is house knows that isn't him. I think he likes being alone, he's comfortable, and safe by himself. No one knows him, they claim to, but they only see a narcissistic, egotistical, sarcastic drug addict. Everyone sees him this way. His peers may respect his medical brilliance, but no one respects him. In every episode, we as viewers learn something more about house. Usually, we learn it when he is in the company of others, but they can never see his true caring. They can only see a drug addict.
Which brings me to Monday's brilliant episode. I didn't know what to expect, and from what the previews showed I couldn't imagine what his secret was. All I knew was he was being nice, but soon it came to the surface: House was trying to change, trying to erase his pain, and even his reputation for being a jerk. But, instead of erasing anything in the eyes of his peers, they only saw it as his next attempt to get high, and maybe die in the process.
Out of everyone, I think Wilson knows house best. I think that's why he meddles in his business, why he tries to stop him. All you have to do is think about it in terms of friendship. Such things as friends don't let friends drive drunk. Really, Wilson is house's designated driver. House is persuasive, and stubborn, and would damn the risks and drive home even if he was as drunk as could be. But, luckily Wilson cares enough to help him when house needs it. It may have been meddling in this episode and many other, but I honestly believe he is scared one of these times his best friend is going to push it too far and die. House said in Birthmarks that Wilson was running from the one thing he really cared about: Him.
Wilson calling house an idiot and checking up on him constantly is what friends do. If I had a friend with a drug problem, I would do all I could to save him. I'd probably even go as far as betray his trust and try to get him help, like Wilson did in Merry little Christmas.
House showed in this episode that he would be willing to die to change. He's tried every treatment imaginable, and will continue trying other treatments. I think the reason house can't get close to anyone romantically is because he feels like a freak. His leg keeps him from doing many things, it keeps him from being human to many people. House is an island onto himself, not that that's a bad thing necessarily, it just means he'll never fully open up.
One more thing. I think one of the best interactions between house and his peers is when Chase hugs him thinking he's dying of cancer. Chase has seen house as a father figure, and has grown to love him. I think we care more about the old team because they related to house at times. Cameron sometimes seemed to see house for exactly what he was; Chase at times was like an illegitimate son; Foreman was like house, but more selfish. It's true. Foreman does things to get ahead, like stealing Cameron's article in season 2, or quitting in three. Now the new team, they have yet to show real care for house. Maybe they never will. Thirteen is dying and needs to live her final several years the way she wants; Taub is a pile of ego; (typical plastic surgeons) Kutner is the only person I could see relating to house in the future. The other two are too absorbed in their selves, and their battles to care.
Finally, the end of the episode showed why house and Cuddy can never be. Cuddy loves house. Not the one she sees, but what he could be. She loves the side without pain, the side she sees as human. More than anything, she loves the idea that one day he could be normal. House will never be normal. "This is the only me you get."
35 - ns
Nate! YES! I agree with your assessment, with one exception. A key premise is that "people don't change." Yet, people actually do change, they are either getting better or they are getting worse. In reality, a person afflicted with the need to take pain killers on a regular and increasing basis is going to slide downhill, whether the need is legitimate or not. I think the writers have actually captured a good degree of realism in this aspect of House and the show. I can see a definite darker element to the show as regards what is going on with House, than in previous seasons where he was more light hearted, even if still maintaining his proper level of acidity.
The writers (I can only assume deliberately) have subtly woven this aspect into the show this season and we can see that House is getting more and more "serious" and, subtly, less and less happy. I think this is good writing, it's the proper amount of realism. Again, as you pointed out, willing to die. Though I think NOT to change, but, rather, to be without the pain.
It doesn't seem to me that Cuddy is a factor in this decision for him, it's a personal decision.
I agree that Cuddy loves House for what she wishes he could be, but that's a dead end street for the show.
36 - barbara barnett
It's interesting, Monica, that in the 2200 words I wrote in this commentary, the only reference to House and Cuddy's relationship is in the final paragraph:
"It is this last line, the one with which I started this lengthy commentary, that has stayed with me since the episode aired. It makes me wonder whether House’s decision to try the methadone was (at least in part) fueled by his desire to have a relationship with Cuddy. But ultimately House tells her (or warns her) that he is who he is, and she will have to accept that if she wants explore anything deeper with him. Because the cost of changing, for him, is too great."
The entire remainder of the essay, commentary, review, whatever you want to call it is about House, pain, methadone and the patient. Not about relationships at all. And even in this final paragraph I refer to something that is part of the narrative, since, yes, they are considering and struggling with whether they want to have one.
It's part of the storyline and may (or may not, depending on your interpretation) have had an impact (in whatever small way) on his decision.
Reviews are opinion. Two people can see the same film, read the same book and come up with completely different interpretations. Why is my interpretation less legitimate?
Also--to set the record straight, FOX has only linked to my essays and more general feature articles about the series,not my weekly commentaries.
37 - Manu
I strongly disagree with the idea that House's use of methadone had anything to do with his feelings for Cuddy. It was a personal decision based on his ongoing desire to feel less pain - in my humble opinion, of course.
Also, the fact that anyone can say that Cuddy wishes she could change House or loves him for what she wishes he could be is beyond me. She loves him for who he is and that is - in my opinion - exactly what is the most frustrating and confusing aspects of her feelings for him. She said it herself "House doesn't do happy; pain or no pain" and when she acknowledged in 'The Greater Good' that as annoying as it is, it IS who he is. Cuddy knows him well, as Wilson does. They love him and accept him for who he is, but both of them wish to see a pain free House find his way to happiness. That's the beauty of it to me.
38 - ns
@ Manu. Mmmmmmm....yes and no. If Cuddy and Wilson truly loved House just for who he is and simply wanted to see a pain free and happy House, then they wouldn't have spent many episodes trying to force him off the Vicodin, calling him an addict and rejecting his standpoint that the vicodin takes away his pain and allows him to do his job. I don't see Cuddy and Wilson in an all out quest to find a way to bring happiness and a pain-free existence to House. I haven't seen an episode yet devoted to Cuddy and Wilson trying to solve House's plight. I just see them freaking out at all the different methods he chooses to implement in his personal quest for a pain-free and happy existence because they are concerned for his welfare and for the lengths he will go to.
Do Cuddy and Wilson love House? YES. Do they love him and accept him just as he is? mmmmm.. I don't think so. But, to me, there's a lot of beauty in that too.
39 - j.i.m.
Since Cuddy met House during their university days together, perhaps Cuddy is holding onto her past image of House. Or maybe Cuddy wants what doesn't exist, a House that wouldn't be, on occasion, a mentally abusive boyfriend. I think Cuddy feels she would be acting without self-respect, letting herself down, to become involved with House intimately. Thus, her reference to her shame if she ever had sex with him.
This complex story speaks to each person with a different voice. I am never watching the same show as the next person. That is why I find these comments so interesting.
40 - Jaim
I totally agree, Manu. I think that Cuddy has always seen him for who he is. She wanted him in "Let Them Eat Cake" when he was still a jerk so I don't understand this argument others are making that she wants the 'nice' House. She even played his own game in that episode. I also think it's weird that people say that her suggestion that they kiss in that episode is her trying to change him. What the heck does that have to do with changing him? She just wants a kiss. He did it before. Also someone had to break from the game at that point. Cuddy knew it had to be her. So, she let herself be the vulnerable one and suggest the kiss. Of course, she would love him to be a bit more tender at times, but his brutal honesty has also been her safe haven during various times in her own life and career(Fetal Position, Who's Your Daddy?, and Humpty Dumpty illustrate these moments) Yeah, she 'sees what could be,' but that's only natural. She loves him, at the most, as a good friend, and you should always hope for the best for a friend. Those who truly love us should see beyond our misery and bitterness. I also think that he wouldn't expect her to act any other way. They have been in each other's lives for over twenty years. I think that she has proven that she is alright with who he is. Many times it has been said that his personality has always been harsh even prior to the infarction.
41 - Orange450
Barbara, thanks for a wonderful review (as usual)!
I don't usually cross-post comments from one House discussion venue to another, but after reading your words, I simply have to post my comments from the Fox forum in their entirety, so I hope you don't mind. I promise, promise, promise that the following was posted there last night - before your article was available here at BC, so I wasn't influenced in any way ;-)
"Like so many other viewers, I thought House's struggle to control his pain was a fascinating and well-executed storyline. But since other episodes over the seasons have focused on House's search for relief, I've been wondering why it was being revisited yet again just at this point in the season/series. Several viewers have commented that the topic seemed like a natural follow-on from Painless - and I can see that POV. But I can't get away from the idea that another significant purpose of the plot line was to set House up to deliver its last line: "this is the only 'me' you get".
I have to preface this by stating categorically that the various ships on the show are not a primary focus for me at all. But for better or worse, House's relationship with Cuddy has been simmering away on the front burner since the end of S4, and to me - TSS seemed as much a natural follow-on from Unfaithful as from Painless.
I thought about House's initial response to Cuddy's initial invitation to the simchat bat, which precipitated the respective backs-and-forths, i.e., House not wanting/wanting to go, and Cuddy wanting/not wanting/wanting to have him there. I also thought about all the contradictory feelings of distance and closeness that House expressed in Cuddy’s Serenade, without saying a single word. (Hugh Laurie is a genius.)
Then it occurred to me that in addition to seeking a solution for his pain, the methadone may possibly have been an attempt by House to see whether he could match Cuddy's current state, which - as was demonstrated at the simchat bat - is (for the time being, anyway) warmer, happier and more family-oriented than we’ve ever seen it. He may have wondered whether the methadone might accomplish two things for him: 1) eliminate his pain, and 2) make him happier because of that, and more in sync with Cuddy's current wavelength.
(Many viewers have offered sound interpretation of the symbolism behind House's shaving, and his dressed-up look. I have one to add to the mix. I think that they're a sign of his (inevitably unsustainable) wellbeing, which manifests in his caring about his appearance. Some examples: The first time we saw a cleanshaven House was in Three Stories, before his debridement. I've always thought that besides making him look younger, it was a sign that he previously cared about what he looked like. (Not that I don't love the scruff, but there's no question it's an "I don't care" look.) He dressed up very nicely for his date with Cameron - and IMO, before Wilson said "she likes lame" and started him on that train of thought - he was sort of looking forward to it. Then there was the day after Baltimore, in Need to Know (when he was definitely feeing very good) - with his ironed shirt, and his comment to Wilson that he’d thought about shaving, but couldn't find a razor! And there was the elegant light grey pinstriped suit and pink shirt in Meaning. In TSS, I think that a valid explanation for the shave, suit and tie is that he cared what he looked like as he went out to interview - in defiant pursuit of his right to take methadone and continue to feel well.)
But his experiment failed, and since he couldn't continue on the methadone, he had to make his position very clear to Cuddy. He won't dull his edge, ever. Not for anyone. He won't try to be someone he isn't and can't be. "This is the only 'me' you get." Take it or leave it. But deal with it, because it’s not going to change.
I think Liz Friedman brilliantly killed two birds with one stone. She wrote a mesmerizing, psychologically complex story of House dealing with his pain and the aftermath of treating it, for those who focus on House's mind, and the very same lines provided a compelling and believable (IMO) situational development between House and Cuddy, for those who focus on his body. (OK, I didn't really mean that - I just thought it sounded good and I couldn't resist. I think it's great to focus on both :-))"
42 - barbara barnett
Orange--Great minds, eh? Friedman wrote a very complex story, indeed. It was as intertwined as House's complex feelings, emotions, pain and coping mechanisms. She did a great job on several simultaneous tracks.
I'm so much loving this season. The march episodes look phenomenally good.
Hey and if nothing else, this episode has spurred a lot of discussion. 42 comments in 12 hours. Not bad.
43 - Kathy
Monica, I haven’t misunderstood. Barbara’s articles are on this BLOGCRITIC site, not just a Blog site nor just a critic site. In any event, even if Barbara is a acting as just a critic as you are suggesting, a critic is “One who forms and expresses judgements of the merits, faults, value or truth of the matter. “ Judgement means “The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating”. So even by your slanted view, Barbara is perfectly entitled to take a view of each episode she reviews. It is to her credit that she is gracious in entertaining alternative views, especially constructive criticisms. Even were her reviews totally one-sided as you allege, there’s nothing that says she can’t be. She has no duty to be totally objective, neither does any other critic " professional or otherwise.
By the way, the definition of critic also includes “One who tends to make harsh or carping judgement, a faultfinder”.
You may also may have not apprexciated what this BLOGCRITIC site is all about Here’s what it actually says:
“Blogcritics.org is an online magazine covering everything from music, books, film, TV, video, politics, culture, sports, gaming, science, and technology, to celebrity and the internet. We’re interested in original reviews, news, and commentary on any of these subjects, or most anything else interesting and well-written.”
I for one think Barbara’s reviews meet all these criteria.
It is to Barbara’s credit that her reviews are widely linked, and not only on the Huddy site as you seem to imply. I have seen it referred to in TV.com site; not to mention Fox’s own site.
The above is just my opinion, no offence intended (why do people keep saying that when they tend to use the phrase in the same way as others who start with “With greatest respect”, then launch into a tirade attacking that very person or their views?)
44 - Shaz
Barbara, you really should have given a more balanced view:
- you didn't even mention Cameron or Chase. Oops they weren't in the episode
- you could have mentioned Foreteen as they seem to predominate this episode. Ugh may be not
- you could have given Cuddy the benefit of the doubt, her actions weren't Cuddy trying to change House - she was doing it because she loves him. Erm, but that would make you liable to greater criticsm that you are way to Huddy-like
Muahaha!
45 - ns
and now...back to our regularly scheduled program..please!
46 - blacktop
I think that a crucial element in understanding the motivations of House, Cuddy, and Wilson in this episode is the near-death experienced in the first act. House might easily have died right there in his chair in full view of his occupied fellows. That Wilson and Cuddy arrived in his office to save him was an extremely fortunate accident. This event frightened all three of them and they reacted in the ways that drove the rest of this excellent episode.
Wilson was deeply scared by House's near death and he took the rather drastic and duplicitous step of foisting the bourbon test upon his friend to drive home the point that unsupervised drug use, even with the goal of pain relief is extraordinarily dangerous.
Cuddy's fear of House dying took a slightly different tack: she offered a shoot-from-the-hip ultimatum that he give up the methadone or quit her hospital. I think that she expected House to reply with a negotiation that would have ended up where they actually did, in a supervised methadone treatment plan. She wasn't counting on House's stubborness to carry the argument at that point.
House himself was shook to the core by the near death. He hired the hooker because he feared dying alone in his bed. I don't think he was happy about the prospect of seeking another job at a different hospital, but he couldn't see another way forward that would not compromise his independence and pride.
Most of all, this episode confirmed that House does not harbor a suicidal streak, he wants to live. He wants to work at the top of his mental abilities, he wants to be without pain, and he would like relief from his profound loneliness. That is why he has been pursuing - in halting fashion to be sure -- a relationship with Cuddy for this entire season.
I think that without the death scare at the beginning the entire experiment with methadone would have proceeded quite differently. Wilson and Cuddy would most likely have agreed with House that this was a reasonable pain management program worth trying under close supervision.
I don't think that House tried the methadone FOR Cuddy, he did it for himself. But I do think that he was aware of the possibilities that being pain-free open up for him. The fact that he is willing to turn his back on a chance for a relationship with Cuddy and on being pain -free in order to preserve the extraordinary mental abilities that are his "one thing" is at the heart of his tragic story.
With his final question to her, House was asking Cuddy if she is able to accept him as he is or does she require that he become a happier person. We don't know what her answer will be, but their long history and strong mutual understanding suggest that she does not need House to change in order for her to seek a more profound relationship with him.
Cuddy wants House the way he is -- tortured genius with the abrasive, abusive personality and all-- but she wants him to live.
47 - ns
@ blacktop, I agree with everything, except now I somehow can't get the image out of my mind of Cuddy and Wilson dancing around House's office to the tune of Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are."
48 - Debbie
I just want to say that this was perhaps the best episode of the season.
It totally rocked and I cannot wait to be able to watch it again.
A few comments I'd like to share:
-Was it just me, or did House/Hugh look especially gorgeous this episode - before and after the shaving? (Especially in the restaurant and restaurant alley way scenes with Wilson. I thought, dayum, he looks so damned handsome!) There was something about his face throughout the episode that seemed peaceful which allowed his handsomeness to shine through. And that, of course, was because he was out of pain. This is a true testament to how great an actor he is. Meaning, during a normal epsiode when he's *in* pain, although he's always sexy, his face exudes pain. (Am I making any sense here?)
-I wanted to smack the mother upside her head. Who was she trying to protect from being hurt? Her son, or herself? I'm glad 13 was the catalyst for Jackson finding out the truth.
-I thought the little boy playing Jackson was wonderful.
-A clinic patient! YES!
-One thing that disappointed me last night was we didn't get to see him shave. We *needed* to see him shave. I would've paid money to watch him!
-When he asked Cuddy why does she care if he's happy, you could just see her busting, wanting to admit to him why. (But I think he already knows.)
-The funniest line of the night; Wilson to House: You own *two* ties?
-And the best line of the night; the one that killed me was House to Cuddy: This is the only me you get.
Like you, Barbara, I cannot get that line out of my head, or the look on his face as he said it.
49 - 60 plus
Barbara,
If I may quote you in your second article on "House in Love":
"In the the fourth season episode “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” House is ordered to give performance reviews to his new team. He rebels against that task, but presents to Cuddy his evaluation of her. “You want to have someone jump you and tell you ‘I love you;’ you run away from what you need, you have no idea of what you want. Your accomplishments make you proud; but you are still miserable.” What do we take away from that? What clues? In my humble opinion, House is baring his own feelings to Cuddy; telling her that she needs him, and doesn’t (yet) realize that she wants him.
What Cuddy does see is the hidden gem that is at the heart of Dr. Gregory House. She sees what might be. As House articulated in season two’s “Humpty Dumpty:” “You see things as they are and how they might be. What you don’t see is the gaping chasm that lies between. If you did, you’d never have hired me…” "
It seems to me that, in saying "This is the only 'me' you get," House is just reiterating his earlier observation. And, I believe he is also saying it to himself. He tried to get to where things "might be," in terms of his release from pain, his being "happy" and his possible relationship with Cuddy. But the chasm of losing his ability to do his job was too much to overcome. So he, too, has to realize that "This is the only 'me' [I] get.
50 - ns
@ 60 plus. Hmmmm...brilliant.
51 - barbara barnett
ns--thank you. Back on topic we go!
Blacktop. You're right. When House's lungs gave out, it scared both Wilson and Cuddy and had that not happened, things might have proceeded quite differently. That did set all three off on unanticipated paths; Wilson, who is always on alarm for what he views as House's not caring whether he lives or dies; Cuddy as someone is his boss as well as someone for whom she cares very deeply. They did act out of love and protectiveness, but they didn't allow House to make known "his side" of the story. They simply became confrontational with him. That was driven by the fright House gave them both and they were both in panic mode. The assumed, and that caused House to offer his own knee-jerk reaction: his frustration that 1)they always think the worst and most screwed up of him and 2) they know what's better for his pain than he does. Both are common tropes in the series.
I don't believe that Cuddy wants to change House. I do think that part of House believes that he "should" change for whatever relationship he's in or the relationship will blow up. His "this is the only 'me' you get'" was an answer a question he believed Cuddy would be asking herself.
52 - Flo
60 plus, it is an interesting point of view!
House may try to convince himself too. I don't know.
Personnally, in "No More Mr Nice Guy" when he gave Cuddy her evaluation saying "You want to have someone jump you and tell you 'I love you;' you run away from what you need, you have no idea of what you want. Your accomplishments make you proud; but you are still miserable." I immediately thought that he was talking about himself too!
53 - Orange450
Flo - so did I!
54 - 60 plus
I don't think that it was a matter of House convincing himself that "this was the only me" he'd get. I believe it was more a matter of accepting what he sees as the reality after the methadone experience. IMHO, he had to accept that reality himself before he was able to say it to Cuddy.
55 - barbara barnett
I think that's a very important point 60-plus. It wasn't until after he stopped the methadone that he told her. Has he, finally, decided to accept himself?
Was he also talking about himself in his words to Cuddy? "This is the only me?" He's now been there, done that with change and radical treatments. I think it will be a long time before he tries something chemical to treat his pain (other than the relatively mild) vicodin.
56 - Amie
LOL Shaz!
Wow, I quickly read your review, Barbara, before going to work (european time) with just two comments.
Throughout the day, I was thinking about the episode and of all I could add to the discussion and here I comme back and all theses great comments are here.
And I'm sure that by the time I've written my bit, another 20 posts will have been added! So sorry if I say something that has already been said before...
Just like many others, thank you, Barbara. I can hardly wait for a new House episode, and then I can hardly wait for your review, and then I keep coming back to read everyone's thoughtful insight.
Just sad that some people mistake "commenting and analysing what TPTB show us" for "shipping"...
Ok, where to begin. So many things said already, so many things to ponder...
I will first of all respond to those who say "that prooves cuddy is not for him" or that cuddy wants him to be the way she wants him to be. I have to very strongly disagree.
She has never wanted him to change. She just wants things to be "right" (cf House in Humpty Dumpty - which by the way, is a big connection between the two as House values BEING right). She doesn't want him to die (so against methadon) then supports his want to be happy (so agrees for the methadon). But she never forced him to try and be happy. Anyway it's been said that he was a jerk before the injury, and Cuddy says it herself "pain or no pain, he doesn't do happy". And she was willing to forego his jerkiness even after the boob-grab, when she goes to his office after seeing the desk. She knows who he is and is willing to go with it.
But trying to do what is best, she is always dragged by Wilson into his ploys to change him. He's the one who told her to lie about curing the wheelchair guy in Meaning, the one who says they have to do something about his being nice etc...). Cuddy always ends up trying to see House's POV and trying to compromise (like when she turns doing clinic duty into games for him). She lets him get away with lots of things.
I think she is starting to see behind his mask ("or this is all an act" in the greater good)
As it's been said before, Wilson and Cuddy are "real" friends. The ones who don't let a friend do stupid things. I really don't mind them meddling especially when House meddles so unscrupulously in their lives. (And, anyway, I think he would be upset if they didn't, cf "Emancipation").
Just one random question : when have we ever have heard Cuddy express guilt over her part in his leg injury?
I agree with Alex that the methadone was not for Cuddy (although it is "collateral damage" ;-)).
But I am confused because that last line made me think right away of Unfaithful... (even though, she never asked him to change in Unfaithful. She just said something brutely honest like House would do. Up to him to deal with it or not).
I think the "why do you care" was a rethorical question. It was a way to push her back and be a jerk again. Because , (1) he knows the answer and (2) if ever she had truthfully answered, what would he have said? He was in no mood to be romantic. I think he would have said the same thing. And it would have been hard on her.
I think HE was the one he was saying that last line to...
Because, this episode was about duality, yes, but also choice and acceptance.
Jackson's parents choose him/her to be a boy. House choose pain. Foreman and Thirteen chooses just one ice-cream flavour ;-)
And then, Jackson's parents have to accept him as he is, the way Wilson and Cuddy and the all have to accept House the way he is.
Hence his "you gave birth to a freak of nature but doesn't mean it's a good idea to treat him as one" line and his "thank you" to Cuddy when she accepted his choice of taking methadon.
He wants acceptance and I think that last line was all about that. "This is the only me you get".
Accept it or not. But could he be he was talking to himself? And somewhere, couldn't it be that House is accepting his pain? At least, he has decided to choose pain. I really wonder where that will take him. Will he stop seeking new treatments?
Oh, and I really laughed out loud at Taub's Foreman imitation. The "you slept with House" line.
57 - Sheila
To paraphrase what House said to Cuddy in 'Humpty Dumpty ' " you see what is and what can be; what you don't see is the giant chasm in between..otherwise you never would have hired me".
In the pilot the POTW said while expanding her question to Wilson "does he care about you ?" : "it isn't what (he) says; it's what (he) does that counts ".
Does Cuddy see House as he is ? IMO Yes.
Does she harbor hopes of better things for him i.e. less depression; pain; isolation . IMO Yes.
Can she articulate her love for him ? Not so far. Has she showed her love for him ?
Lets see: hired him & gave him a diagnostic team after he had been fired from four other positions; fought off Vogler & prevented House from being fired at risk to her own position; perjured herself and fabricated evidence in court to prevent him from going to jail;got him into the car with Wilson to heal their friendship (unorthodox of course)...lets see " How Do I Love Thee: Let Me Count the Ways".
I actually don't care who or if House ends up with any other character. I'm interested in the journey the writers and the very fine actors are taking us all on.
OK....in my own heart I want House to be happy, which I know won't happen, but if you love the character how can you not wish, as Cuddy does, for his life to be even a little bit happier ?
58 - Amie
OK, so I was almost right : 12 news posts came while I was writing.
- "you own two ties??" : LOL yes! that one was great!
- I usually like clinic duty but this one was so stupid (and a very old joke) that I found it lame.
-"With his final question to her [why do you care], House was asking Cuddy if she is able to accept him as he is or does she require that he become a happier person."
OK forget what I said. This is much better! I love this interpretation!
I think House was willing to try and change and he realized it failed. He was trying to see if it was ok with Cuddy.
But still, that last "This is the only me you get" was for him.
-- And I realized some of you had come to the same conclusion as me during those 12 posts ;-)
59 - Wnkybx
60 plus, thank you for reminding us of House's words to Cuddy in "Humpty Dumpty." I was about to make a similar comment but couldn't quite place the episode in which he said it.
I agree with the general sentiment that Cuddy is not actually trying to change House. She is not trying to force spoonfuls of "happiness" down his throat; she understands perfectly well who he is, hence her "House does not do happy, pain or no pain" comment. Her ultimatum was a completely reasonable one. Methadone is a huge deal. Cuddy's line "If he buys a new pair of shoes, should we let him smoke crack?" illustrates how serious of a drug methadone is. Many doctors will not prescribe it, and there are quite a few patients who claim that they can only find pain relief with Vicodin, methadone, morphine, etc. This is serious stuff, and Wilson and Cuddy were definitely in their right minds to be concerned and to meddle. However, her urging him to take the methadone safely (on her terms) was her act of caring for him, his well-being. Of course you want your friends to feel better. Again, I want to say that House is not defined by his pain. As someone said earlier, House was rough around the edges prior to his infarction, causing Stacy to feel lonely in their relationship. Both Cuddy and Wilson have known House for a long time, and they know that he has never been Mr. Nice Guy. If House's personality was somewhat unpleasant before the pain, taking away his pain is not going to change that. Therefore, Cuddy's support of a pain reliever is not a move to change who he is. She sees what might be: House pain-free, not being tortured by his leg, and with the same wit, devilish ego, and interesting personality. Both she and Wilson are great friends for wanting the best for him.
As for whether House can change, I agree with Nate that he does have that potential. I really do think this episode plants those seeds with the shaving, the kind thank you, and we will have to stay tuned to see if he does change in certain ways. Just like how the main character of any great drama or novel is moved or changed by either internal or external conflict, House can't possibly remain the exact same man at the end of the series as he was in the pilot. He has gone (and will probably continue to go through) so much.
60 - Wnkybx
Amie, I don't think we ever really heard Cuddy say, "I feel so guilty about House's leg!" However, Lisa Edelstein has shown us Cuddy's sense of guilt through looks (I felt in in "Three Stories" when she came to the lecture hall at the end as well as during the episode when he, in desperation, showed her his infarcted leg), and it has been alluded to during the episode when she gave away House's parking spot to another employee in a wheelchair. Sorry I keep blanking on episode names. Also, the decision-making process surrounding the leg surgery was questionable in terms of ethics; when ethics are in question, the door to guilt can remain wide open. House, as the patient, explicitly stated his wish not to have anything done to his leg; yet she did not respect that wish as the attending on his case. Although Stacy, as House's designated medical proxy, had the legal right to consent to the surgery, ethically Cuddy as the doctor was supposed to respect his wish. Doctors cave in these situations to avoid lawsuits that eat up time and money to fight. If I were in Cuddy's shoes, I would feel incredibly guilty.
61 - Maddy
I personally really like your outlook Barbara! I kept refreshing the page before I went to bed last night to see if the new review was up - the episode always seems so much more complete after reading it! I hope you'll keep up the great work : )
Love or hate the new season, Huddy fan or Huddy cynic, it is of credit to the brilliance of the show in general that it can generate so much passionate and intellectual conversation and interpretation. Just saying, all things considered I think it's a wonderful show, the likes of which cannot be found anywhere else on television, and I hope that it continues to be as superb in the future. Seeing how the writers got to this point without listening to other people (a jerk drug addict genius doctor TV show - who could've possibly predicted it'd work?), I like to hope that I can still have faith in them. Maybe there's some great plot twists that will tie everything together that we simply could have never guessed . . .
To Flo, #24: I completely agree with you! "She knows him for years and she likes/loves him for years. Just as he is. I think she wants him to be happy because she feels he deserves it." Exactly - I think part of the chemistry between the two characters is their acceptance of each other, despite obvious flaws. (Except for a superficial example in the last episode - see below.) If Cuddy had really wanted to change House, she would've realized the pointlessness of that intention by now and fired him!
I interpreted House's dialog in the final scene as a response to when Cuddy told him in the last episode that she didn't want him at the baby naming ceremony because, more or less, "It's an event full of love and acceptance and the last thing I want is someone there full of loathing and hate." This was really the first time Cuddy had openly and sincerely communicated that she disliked who House was, and it was obvious by his defeated response that he was hurt by that. It's a shame though that she couldn't tell him in the end that she really did want him there, regardless of his snarkiness. Cuddy accepts him despite of herself and all her best rationalizations.
I think it's been debated enough about whether House tried to become pain free for Cuddy, which from a moderate view of the show I don't think is the case. I agree, it was a factor but not the stimulus. His pain has been increasing greatly this season from an already excruciating point, and I just think it became too much. Maybe this physical pain coupled with the emotional pain at the end of Unfaithful just pushed him over the edge.
Anyway, I felt that, "This is the only me you get" directly responds to her recanting his invitation. Maybe he began to seriously think about what Cuddy's feelings about him as a person were after what she said; perhaps his frustration and dare I say it disappointment poured out in "Cuddy's Serenade". I think House misinterpreted her motives in this regard. In his mind, she was encouraging the methadone because she wanted the new happy House in her life. This is what he was trying to figure out when he asked, "Why do you care if I'm happy?" But Cuddy deflected (of course), and he jumped to this conclusion based on the following logic: she doesn't want him at the naming ceremony, and thus in her life essentially, because he's miserable; then she must be taking the opportunity to keep him happy only so he can be in her life.
What House failed to understand was that Cuddy has been trying to act for his well-being, not her own. We know she cares for him and really did accept him in Unfaithful; maybe he doesn't know from another failure to communicate. But throughout the episode it seemed like Cuddy made decisions to protect him, not from selfish motives to change him. When the methadone almost killed him, she naturally from a medical perspective can't let him continue ("I won't stand by and watch you kill yourself"). But with the help of Wilson and seeing him on the drug, she realized what a positive thing being pain free truly was for House. The benefits outweighed the medical risks so far as what's best for House. And accordingly, she arranged that he could stay, as long as he took the drugs safely under supervision. So in the end, she didn't want him to give up the drug because she wouldn't be happy. She didn't want him to sacrifice happiness because of his own stubbornness. She could see how drastically his well-being was improved without pain (honestly, House shaved!!), and I think she just didn't want to see him give that up. She was practically begging him not to do it to himself, after he'd come so far. (The scene tore me apart; she desperate, he misunderstanding her motives, suppressed and complicated passions in their eyes!) Perhaps subtly it reveals how Cuddy simply cares for House.
Kudos to everyone's comments! There so insightful - I especially liked blacktop's, jaim's, Orange's and Manu's - but my own comment is way too long so I'm gonna stop . . .
p.s. "With his final question to her, House was asking Cuddy if she is able to accept him as he is or does she require that he become a happier person. We don't know what her answer will be, but their long history and strong mutual understanding suggest that she does not need House to change in order for her to seek a more profound relationship with him." brilliant : )
62 - sdemar
When I read #2 from Jaim, I swore I wrote it. I feel the exact same way.
I would also like to add that House makes it difficult for Wilson & Cuddy to truly understand him because he doesn't talk. While I do understand it is none of their business, they both love and care for him dearly and he is an intregal part of their lives. Perhaps if House was open with them on what he was doing and why, he may have gotten a different reaction. They want what's best for him.
And add me to the group that says Cuddy accepts House the way he is. She has known him a long time and she understands that he "doesn't do happy". She likes the challenge he offers her and loves his rebel nature. Like me, I am sure she finds that intensely sexy.
63 - sdemar
PS, great review, Barbara, to a fabulous episode.
64 - ns
I wish I had the ability to remember some of the lines word for word as some of the other people here do. But, if I'm not mistaken, at the end of this episode, Cuddy does say to House "You are afraid of change." This would infer that she is indeed looking for a change to occur, or for him to be willing to change. His response, in essence, "it ain't gonna happen - especially now." So I guess now we'll see where she's at with that and where he's going to go from here, if this was, in fact, a last ditch effort, on his part, to free himself from pain.
If Cuddy decides to love and accept him just the way he is, and to be in love with him just the way he is...and he then decides what the heck and decides to be in love with her, as far as I can see that's the end of the show. But, Barbara is correct that this is the season of House and Cuddy and that will explored thoroughly, I'm sure, in this season.
The two of them don't belong together in a long term relationship. Both great characters, both alone and dealing with their own struggles, both deserve to find happiness - just not with each other.
I'm for Cuddy and Wilson myself. House hasn't met his match yet.
Taub's impression of Foreman was sooooo funny! More of that for him - please. He's a great actor and I really like his character.
Wilson's, "You have two ties?" Hilarious. Wilson is one of the funniest characters I have seen. Some of his lines are so incredibly funny. He's a great straight man for House, too. Also, his performance in "Wilson's Heart" was amazing. Sometimes he gets overlooked for the great actor and character he is. Why doesn't he get nominated for an award?
Also, get off Thirteen. She's a fine actor, a hot lady and I definitely think she offers something to the show.
65 - barbara barnett
Thanks Sdemar. You are so right. In that final scene (yeah, I watched it again) Cuddy begs him to not stop the methadone. "Don't do this." She's not saying it for herself, because I don't think she wants him to change. But clearly the methadone helped House, eliminated the pain and improved his outlook on life just a little. But House is afraid that if his thinking is blunted (he attributes it to his lack of pain leading to his good mood) he will suffer as a doctor, and given his specialty, could easily kill a patient. He's unwilling to do that.
When Cuddy tells him that he's afraid of change, she may be right, but I don't think that's what's going on with House. He fears losing the only part of himself that he believes matters--his intellect. He jealously guards it;defends it and is proud of it--perhaps the only thing he does pride himself on.
I just realized that in less than 24 hours, this column has generated 65 comments. Thanks everyone for the awesome discussion. Keep it going--we have more than a week until the next episode!
66 - ns
Ok, but he also says, "Why do you care?" Perfect opportunity for her to say "Uh, because I love you, just the way you are." So why doesn't she?
67 - barbara barnett
ah...but ns, Cuddy is just as bottled up as House. I think she might have wanted to say something to that effect, and in a way, House was waiting (with his eyes averted) for her to say something. But she doesn't. The opening is brief. But she, like House, is as reticent as the heroine of a Victorian novel.
68 - ns
Yes, that is one perspective, and an interesting one. But I think it's because what she really wanted to say is "because I need you to change so I can justify to myself, loving you."
69 - JL
I looooove this blog (thanks, Barbara). Everyone's comments (well, most of them) are so thoughtful and make me think (and laugh).
I've been off having babies, so I'm identifying with Cuddy a lot right now. Her position reminds me of the point at which I was becoming 'serious' with my socially outrageous, 'the world are all idiots' boyfriend (when it comes to men I find attractive, I'm a creature of habit).
The refrain, "Don't know how you can put up with him - I couldn't stand him!" was one I heard frequently. While I found him very attractive and easily loved the beautiful man behind the facade, I found his behaviour much more concerning when considering our future children.
It's one thing to love someone, to care about their happiness and wellbeing, and even to have a friendship with them. It's quite another to build a life with them or to let them influence your children. Several recent episodes of House have brought this issue into focus for me.
I think that, since their kiss, House and Cuddy have reached a point of clarity regarding their feelings for each other. Despite their protestations to the contrary, I think that they both know that they care and know that the other cares and know that the other knows...
(The knowing pause between them as Cuddy openly struggled with her answer to House's question, "Why do you care if I'm happy?" confirmed this one for me.)
But, while I believe Cuddy accepts House as he is and loves him for who he could be (oh gosh, how appalling to find oneself paraphrasing Jerry McGuire), she doesn't want to pursue a relationship with him. Who would? He's outrageous and embarrassing and cynical and impossible...
(even if he is darned attractive)
... and, in my case, I decided that the prospect of a mad, frustrating life with my man ultimately outweighed the thought of one without him. And that I would accept that the man I was marrying wasn't perfect, probably wouldn't change much, and that I would choose to love him anyway.
And I think that, when compared with the person who marries someone they think is 'perfect', knowing your partner is flawed and deciding to accept this ultimately makes for a much stronger relationship. Which is why I think that House and Cuddy, if they ultimately decided to embark on a relationship (as opposed to a fling, which doesn't require thought), could actually be a succcess together.
(Of course, I realise House is in a league of his own when it comes to ISSUES and outrageousness. Whether he could ever reach the point of being prepared to become involved with another human being is another issue, let alone the difficulties of actually HAVING the relationship...)
70 - Orange450
ns wrote:
"Wilson's, "You have two ties?" Hilarious. Wilson is one of the funniest characters I have seen. Some of his lines are so incredibly funny. He's a great straight man for House, too. Also, his performance in "Wilson's Heart" was amazing. Sometimes he gets overlooked for the great actor and character he is. Why doesn't he get nominated for an award?"
I completely agree! RSL is everything you say and more, and I also wonder why he hasn't yet been recognized for this role, which so perfectly showcases his talents.
Before this week's episode aired, I watched the spoiler clips. The end of the brief exchange between Cuddy and Wilson (in which Cuddy suggests that Wilson try to get back some of the money that House owes him) had me rolling on floor, laughing. It was the way Wilson says "hmmmm" right before he walks out. His timing is absolutely impeccable!
On another House discussion venue, I commented that RSL can do more with a grunt than most actors can do with pages of scripted dialogue. And I also asked why he hasn't gotten his Emmy yet? :-)
71 - ns
@orange450 YES! Hugh Laurie is obviously a genius, no question about it. But there isn't a show that I've seen with RSL in it where he didn't have me laughing out loud. He is such an important part of the show, such an impeccable character. He should be recognized.
72 - ns
AHA! JL, you bring up an excellent point and that is the fact that there is now a child involved!! This, even more so than the other arguments, would certainly indicate that Cuddy is not going to just blindly accept House for who he is without trying to change him if, for no other reason, the fact that she has a child.
73 - ns
And let's not forget that Cuddy went and adopted the child and brought Wilson with her to look at the crib she had chosen, didn't even discuss it with House, which he was visibly hurt by. Not a real strong basis of a relationship. She obviously was not planning to include him in that.
Why?
74 - sherlockjr
As always, a great review -- so well thought out and elegantly written. I haven't commented before, but I love the way your mind works -- you always provide insights that enlighten me and make me think about the show in ways I haven't before.
One point I'd like to discuss for a moment. Further up in the comments, you said: I think that House believes his leg affects his ability to have a "normal" relationship with a woman. You didn't elaborate on what you considered to be a "normal" relationship, but I got to thinking about it.
We all remember the date with Cameron. House, in essence, rejected her interest in him because he felt she was one of those people who was attracted to him only because he was damaged -- she needed him to be damaged, she wouldn't be interested in him if he weren't in pain (both emotional and physical) -- and she couldn't see past the damage to the person behind it.
Perhaps, on some level, he thinks that's true of most women he's been interested in since the leg injury, whether we're talking about how his relationship with Stacy changed, or how Cuddy often treats him as a recalcitrant child -- that somehow since his injury, he is perceived first as a damaged person (in pain, or reacting to the physical pain by being cranky) and only after that as who he is/can be apart from what the injury has done to him. The only exception is Cate Milton, the character played by Mira Sorvino in "Frozen." Remember how stunned he was when she asked him, "Who said you needed fixing?" and how that piqued his interest in her even more? Finally, a woman who could see through all his crap and accept him exactly as he is, warts and all. No wonder he was attracted! Who wants to be seen as only an extension of the worst thing that ever happened to them? And how refreshing to be told that you're really okay as you are.
Having said that, I think there are actually women who accept him warts and all, too, and they don't get mentioned in discussions about the show, probably because House pays for their time -- the hookers. We've seen two of them this season, and both seem to genuinely like him, even if they are getting paid to be with him. The hooker who helps with the practical joke against Taub and Kutner clearly knows House well and enjoys his company. And then there's this week's hooker of the week, who seems quite at ease in House's home. She's relaxed, smiling and comfortable.
Is it possible that he trusts the hookers more than he trusts even his close friends, and perhaps actually opens up a little more with them than he does with others? This week's hooker was there to make sure he continued to breathe during the night -- that's a pretty major level of trust on House's part -- he's trusting her with his life. We haven't seen him interact with these ladies much, but what we have been shown is a House who is a little less guarded than he is around others. And why wouldn't he be? He has no need to put on any kind of front for them? He's paying for their time and has no expectations of them, so he can relax and be himself. And they seem to like that person.
It seems to me that House sees himself (possibly with a little help from moments of criticism by Wilson and Cuddy) as too damaged to deserve a "normal" relationship -- that the only kind of relationship he can have that works reasonably well for him is one that he pays for. Which doesn't mean that he wouldn't like to have a more "normal" relationship with someone like Cuddy, but that it's much harder to trust when the rate of exchange is more nebulous.
I don't know if I'm actually onto something or if I'm just whistling on the wind, but I do think there's something going on between House and his hookers that no one has really examined before.
75 - j.i.m.
Maddy wrote, ..."which from a moderate view of the show I don't think is the case. I agree, it was a factor..."
Is it wise to start labeling your comments as moderate? Then who are the extreme ones? Definitely starting down a prickly path...