If tonight's show offers any lessons, here they are: Hotness does not a dancer make. It also helps to not have the name Steve.
Tonight's big losers were Steve Wozniak and his inexplicably giggly partner Karina, and Steve-O and Lacey, a surprisingly somber pair. The next two lowest score-getters were the aforementioned hot girls: Denise Richards and Holly Madison, who have the faces and figures of Barbie dolls, and also move like them on the dance floor. A three-way tie at the top between rejected Bachelorette (sorry, but it's true) Melissa Rycroft, Olympian Shawn Johnson, and French actor Gilles Marini solidify their roles as the ones to beat this season.
Sadly, two out of those three are hardly stars, in my opinion. A professional cheerleader turned reality star and a man whose claim to fame is showing full frontal on the big screen are not the kind of stars for whom I want to vote. Readers, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this one. (And Dirtyoldman, we'll have no armpit-licking this week!)
Let's get down to business, dance fans. Here's how the pairs, who performed either the Latin samba or the ballroom foxtrot, landed on the judges' leaderboard, from highest to lowest.
Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas: Seriously, where was the one-point error in this beautiful foxtrot? I think our stuffy judges are saving their 10 placards for a little later in the season, because that dance was poetry in motion. Judges' score: 27/30
Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke: If that samba had been any hotter, I'm pretty sure those high-gloss planks of the dance floor would have caught on fire! Yowza, Cheryl! And Gilles' soap actor background comes in handy in the ballroom: high energy and smoldering looks are over-the-top on The Bold and the Beautiful, but magnifique in the samba! Judges' score: 27/30
Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani: The biggest shocker for me this week? Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have jobs? At a desk? I thought professional cheerleader meant you did it, you know, as a profession. Shows what I know. Anyway, Melissa's foxtrot was elegant and all, but I think that certain je ne sais quoi (I'm stuck on the French now) that Carrie Ann said is missing is an emotional connection to the dance. Sorry to get all artsy about it, but her facial expression does not waver from that Go Team! I'm so happy to be here! And I'm so over Jason! grin. She just glides through every dance effortlessly, but with no real performance aspect. Judges' score: 27/30
Article comments
1 - asdf
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders only make $50 a game.
2 - asdf
And of course Holly didn't break down. That would mean she cared.
3 - Theresa P.
Of course I love Melissa because I was totally obsessed with The Bachelor but I can see your point in her not being a 'real' star!
4 - atotheshizzap
good commentary wise critic. poor prediction yet again tho. tsk tsk. can't predict the predictable to be ousted, you gotta think popularity.
i want so much for steve-o to be good, but i think i'm doomed to be disappointed. i want holly to do well also, she is a tough cookie, and not sensitive sally like denise. also, it doesn't come super easy to her. plus i've got my eye on dimitry. the next maks, perhaps?
asdf is also wise. yet lazy, for choosing such a name. and a bit cynical. i say holly cares! (i like to comment on comments).
i don't like derek and lil kim's chemistry...is it just me? i think she could be a contender. she is also a tough cookie. and has rhythm.