Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena.
Want a great episode of Gossip Girl? Then both Chuck and Blair need to be properly motivated, and they certainly were this week.
Chuck went after Uncle Jack with anthrax, transsexual prostitutes, and Megan’s list, and Blair reunited with the Mini-Blairs to go after an extremely out-of-her-element Iowa-bred new teacher, who looks younger than Eric, but turned out to be more formidable than Jack.
Who Got Into Yale?
Well, Dan did, and I can only agree with Blair when she likened him to “a cafeteria worker who won the lottery.”
Serena, of course, got in based on her ritzy street cred, but either out of sympathy for the wait-listed Blair or as a form of personal growth decided to give her spot to her best friend and go to Brown, which of course threw the lovesick Dan into another one of his emotionally judgmental tizzies. Seriously, can Chuck just have Dan run over with a truck right now?
Devil or Angel
In a hilarious sequence, Blair, having already gotten everything she ever wanted, played the devil and angel on my shoulder game with her two top Lieutenants, and decided that the new teacher, who dared to give her a B, needed to find out who was really in charge of Constance Billard. Sadly for Blair, it turned out to be the headmistress, leaving her in detention, back on the Yale waiting list, and priming herself for an extreme escalation.
Has there ever been a funnier moment on this show than Derota asking Blair, “Are we going to war?”
Funny that tonight's episode referenced You've Got Mail, where Tom Hanks instructed Meg Ryan to go to the mattresses, because that appears to be exactly what Blair is about to do.