Well, this week’s obligatory SAT episode was, to be perfectly honest, pretty damn boring until Serena’s returning “friend” decided to slip a little date rape drug into her drink. We’re still waiting for someone to decide that they are gay, and if there’s any hope for the promised seedy porn to come to town, we’ll have to wait for next week.
Dan’s still a loser: He’s not good at tests. He’s still boring and judgmental. He struck out with the bases loaded in a T-ball game. His back-up girlfriend is dating his former enemy and his real girlfriend is keeping secrets from him and lying.
G is for Georgina: This old friend of Serena's returns from the ether determined to either get her old drinking buddy back or just ruin Serena’s newfound happiness for no other reason than spite or maybe increase the ratings by injecting some raunch into the show. Georgina apparently has some juicy blackmail incident at the ready that will ruin Serena's newfound mental health and sobriety. What could it be? Porn film? Sex with Meatloaf? She once wore a blouse that clashed with her skirt? Oh, the anticipation is killing us.
Nate and Vanessa: Maybe I missed something, but apparently Dan and Nate don’t hate each other anymore. Neither does Vanessa after reading a soul-searching practice SAT essay of Nate’s where he ponders life with a coke-snorting, embezzling dad. They wind up eating Greek food, discussing lesbian punk bands, and finally making out. Vanessa has no college plans because she wants to be a filmmaker and apparently there are no colleges with film programs anymore.
The crazy Gossip Girl world of the SATs: Nate encourages Vanessa to take the test with a ride to the site in his limo. Vanessa is prepared because she’s been helping Dan study, but in what world can you just decide to take the SATs at the last second? Has something changed, because back when I took them you needed to register like three months in advance.
Serena leans on new brother Chuck: Chuck of course pays a black guy to take his test, even going so far as to get him his own version of the Chuck Bass driver’s license. After Serena is dosed and can’t make it to her test, Chuck recruits a redhead to do similar service for Serena. Now let’s assume Chuck has a female SAT taker on demand ready to go. Can he really get her a fake ID in less than ten minutes? Wow, that Chuck can do anything except not dress like a sissy.
Article comments
1 - kiara
Serena is such a dumb stupid person!! She needs to get kicked off the show I swear .her. voice is soo annoying and her lips piss me off. She makes the dumbest decisions!! She's ugly af!! Ughh her role just makes me soo dumb!!