If Jerry Rice makes it to the Finals of Dancing with the Stars, I’ll shoot myself. Okay, I think I’ve said that before, but I’ll be really angry and disappointed. No one likes me moody, trust me. I learned this lesson while still a tot. Nonetheless, when I get into a funk (which is likely to happen if Jerry receives more votes than Lisa tonite), you betta watch out.
And I’m not ‘fraid of taking on Jerry Rice either. His partner Anna and her broomstick (what was up with that Tango prop anyway?), well, truthfully, her, I’m a little weary of. For some reason, I can vividly conjure up gruesome images of her stabbing me repeatedly in the chest and ripping out my heart while it was still beating, all the while laughing. She’s Russian, after all. These people invented the term “torture”. Just ask any of those former Commies. Or Sayid on Lost.
Russians? Iraqis? Who can keep up with the “Cold War” enemies du jour?
Not I.
Anyways, here are some of my thoughts regarding the conceivable Stacy vs. Lisa showdown. I know that Bruno Tonioli is all hot for Stacy, despite the fact that the dude is so flaming he readily falls into the “Gay or Euro” categorization school of sexuality. Ambiguity aside, while I comprehend Stacy is hot, she doesn’t do squat for me dance-wise. Her legs are way too long and she just looks like some washed-up Carnival Cruise line wannabe Rockette. Wow, that was a mouthful. Speaking of which, I could have done without pervy Tom Bergeron commenting about her dancing, “You are the only one in America looking at Stacy’s feet” to Carrie Ann.
Like ew. And double ew.
Deep down I know I’m biased. Lisa is all heart (with lips like labia, mind you) and conveys this figurative heart. Stacy doesn't. Convey heart, that is. She doesn’t show me she wants to be there. I don’t see the strong will, the drive. The only indication perhaps is her showing up half-naked all over certain magazines at a cruicial period in this competition. She’s shrewd to capitalize on her assets, since she has many obvious physical ones. But her heart, I can't feel it. There ain't much soul to that girl, which is why I just can’t get behind her.
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Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Realgirl
While I agree with your comments on Lisa AND Stacy, I think you are unwise to write off Drew Lachey. I think he and his partner are and have been THE BEST, and they deserve to win the whole enchilada.
2 - Sandra
I do not think Stacy should even be in the competition. She is an excellent dancer but she has had previous dance training where the others have not. This seems a little unfair to me. At this point, I feel that Drew should be the winner.
3 - Julane
I am not sure that Beth was writing Drew and Cheryl off--I think she is assuming that the final battle will be Stacy versus Drew, and tonight's decision is whether Lisa or Jerry will be eliminated. I admit I am a big Drew/Cheryl fan as well, but Stacy has won me over by the consistently professional quality of her dancing. I was all prepared to hate her, probably because her legs are almost as tall as I am, but she is really really good. Sandra, you have a good point about her dance training, but hasn't Drew done choreography with 98 Degrees?
So back to Beth's original point. Of the people still in the competition who are actually amateurs, Lisa has shown a lot more aptitude and a lot more improvement than Jerry, even if Jerry is a bit easier to look at. ;-) And if there were a trophy for Most Emotional, it would be Lisa's for sure.
4 - Natalie Davis
You can't compare boy-band dancing to ballroom, trust me on that. Two different animals.
I give Lisa Rinna points for being the most improved over the season's course. Stacy Kiebler leaves me cold. Jerry Rice is lovely, but he ought to go. And IMO, the trophy should go to Drew and Cheryl -hey have skill, precision, talent *and* heart.
5 - Cleone Dicus
I think your show stinks --- Jerry Rice should have been gone --- there fore I will not watch anymor of your stupid shows--------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
6 - Toni Canada
I will not watch again....that was such a crock of bull...Jerry Rice has no rythm and Lisa has worked her ass off.....
7 - dee preston
I think Jerry Rice not leaving daning with the Stars tonight was a huge slap in the face to LIsa Rinna. Was she too good to compete with Stacey , who is her biggest competition.. I am totally disappointed , it doesn't matter who wins now.. Too bad for Lisa, she was the best.
8 - M Figgy
Totally disrespectful!!!!!!!!!!! How can anyone vote for Jerry over Lisa. Yes, he was great at football but definitely has two left feet. Lisa has been wonderful to watch.
9 - Ed
What a shame this show is,Tom Bergeron can dance better than Jerry Rice,I watched the show for the last time.
10 - bebe
Voting Jerry Rice in and letting Lisa go is disgusting. They should change the name to "Dancing Popularity Contest" because that's what it turned out to be. Jerry obviously has a huge fan base and that's not what this should be about. If they want to keep this show going, they should not allow the viewers' votes to count. The judges should have the only vote. This was supposed to be about dancing, not popularity. If the Westminster dog show had the audience voting for the dogs, everyone would pick their favorite breed. Same with beauty contests. The individual states would pick the girl from their state, etc. What a turn off this turned out to be.
11 - Ed R
I thought that this is a show that the fans voted on? The fans voted for Jerry and his partner! Even after ABC changed the rules after the show had started. Keep dancing Jerry!!!!!
12 - Glenda
Yes, Jerry Rice should have been out simply
because he is not the dancer Lisa is so
more people should have voted for Lisa!!!!!!!
13 - CONNIE
DREW IS A MUCH BETTER DANCER THAN STACY AS HIS ROLE IS MORE DIFFICULT...HE HAS TO LEARN TO LEAD HIS PARTNER AND STACY'S PARTNER IS THE PROFESSIONAL AND HE MAKES STACY LOOK GOOD..STACY IS BEAUTIFUL AND I THINK THE JUDGES ARE TOTALLY TAKEN BY HER BEAUTY WHICH IS UNFAIR..LISA DID A GREAT JOB AND SHE SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF HERSELF FOR WHAT SHE ACCOMPLISHED...I LOVE THE SHOW BUT THEY NEED 2 MALE AND 2 FEMALE JUDGES WHO CAN LOOK BEYOND ONLY BEAUTY..
14 - Beth
Stay tuned for my follow-up column tomorrow. I am writing a letter to ABC vehmently protesting this.
Jerry? Are you kidding me?
15 - Beth
Ed I'm totally with you on Tom Bergeron. He reminded me of Dick Van Dyke. And that's after one week. Can you imagine after a 6 weeks of intensive training like Jerry has had?
16 - Smitty 187
What calibre weapon do you want to shoot yourself with? Just askin'. I am so happy Jerry is in the finals! I wish Lisa didn't make it with the voters, but I am thrilled Jerry is still standing.
17 - Betty
Write all you want to. The reason I watch the show is because I have a stake in it. My vote counts. Otherwise I would not watch it. Jerrys fanbase came thru in a major way. If you want to complain, complain about Len and Bruno invigorating the sympathy vote by their over the top critiques. I voted for Jerry because if I was at a dance, of all the dancers there, he'd be who I'd want to dance with. He also entertains me the most. He is also the most out of his element. Complain that other stars don't have his charm.
18 - Denny in Toledo
If Jerry Rice is the "Class Act" everyone says he is, he should have the gumption to bow out and relinquish his position to Lisa. The least he can do is look straight into the camera and tell people to vote for him based on how he is dancing now, not how he caught footballs in the past.
19 - carol seeman
I am so very, very disappointed to see Lisa and Louis leave and feel that tonight's judging was totally unfair to them. They are absolutely great and have given their all to this!! Jerry and Anna should be history by now and are only remaining because Jerry is considered an underdog (poor baby! what a joke!). Again, it's just not fair. Stacy and Tony are good HOWEVER, I feel that Stacy's sex appeal and "legs" are giving her a definite edge, especially with the male judges. I am so disgusted that I will definitely not be watching the remainder of the contest. I miss you Lisa and Louie!
20 - Mary in Phoenix
I'm so surprised that Jerry made it to the finals. I agree with most people that Lisa has worked the hardest and had wanted it the most. She was a breath of fresh air in this show and I'll miss her smile and enthusiasm -- I also enjoyed seeing husband Harry in the audience weekly supporting her efforts-kudos to Harry!! Jerry does not have the obvious background in dance that both Stacy and Drew have. Many people also think that the judges are taken by Stacy's looks--I must agree as well. They are voting on her looks, long legs and sex appeal. Having two male judges does favor her in the finals. I'm figuring Jerry 3rd place, Drew 2nd, and because of her sex appeal, Stacy in 1st place.
21 - Natalie Davis
Lisa Rinna was gypped royally. Even Bergeron danced way better than Jerry Rice. But c'mon - Kelly Monaco's win proved DWTS is more a popularity contest than a dance competition.
22 - Anonymous
I am quite upset that Lisa & Louie are gone! Jerry Rice - I agree he was the best at what he retired as ---A FOOTBALL PLAYER!! Not a dancer! Guess all of Chocolate City voted tonight! Sorry Lisa & Louie--you definitely had my vote!! Now - I only hope that everyone votes for Drew & Cheryl,,I know I will! Totally unjustified! People cannot vote for true talent nowadays!!
23 - beth
Btw, Julane you are right. Wasn't discounting Drew. He's my favorite right now. Just think Lisa deserved her turn. She's clearly proven herself most capable. Anywho, thanks for picking up what I was putting down :)
24 - Rgina
I am new to dancing with the stars this year so I am wondering how the finals will go do the audience still vote or is it strictly the judges pick?
25 - shirley romano
Can anyone tell me why the contestants dance to music totally unconnected to the dance they are performing? Stacy and her partner were doing the Rhumba, or Mambo to Kelly Clarkson's, "Since You've Been Gone" which is a rock song. Why isn't the appropriate music played for the appropriate dance? This goes for all dancers, which is a complete mystery to me.
It makes the show a complete joke, and any professional dancer would agree with me.