Barb is in her bedroom when Bill walks in and too casually asks about her swim and whether she’ll be taking Teeny in to summer school registration. “I plan on it,” Barb says tersely.
Bill: Good. (awkwardness) Okay. I’ll … see you later then. (pause) Our world can go to Hell in a hand-basket, but as long as we stick together, we’ll be alright.
I hate it when Bill does that – goes all preachy and philosophical. And it’s usually out of nowhere. Yuck. Barb clearly agrees with me because she totally doesn’t even acknowledge his existence.
Bill leaves Sister Wife Central, but is caught off guard when Nosy Neighbor Pam and her husband, Carl, wave to him hesitantly and generally act all around goofy.
Hendrickson’s Home Plus. Bill greets his employees and then he and the infamous Wendy end up walking side-by-side. Here’s what they actually said and what they really said:
Wendy: Mr. Hendrickson. How are you this morning? (I so know that you are practicing that dirty, dirty polygamy, you pig!)
Bill: Never been better, Wendy. (I will cut you.) Thank you. (Fuck you.)
It turns out that Bill has had Don ransack her desk, complete with photocopies of all of the dirt she’s pulled up on Bill and his family, as well as records of her emails and Internet activity. Bill jumps right to “She was targeting me!” But Don tries to calm him down by pointing out that all they know is that she was interested. Bill can’t handle all of this drama, so he wants a basis to fire her by the end of the week. Don hems and haws, forcing Bill to admit that he’s not 100% sure that it was she who outed them.
“But I’ve got ten souls in my charge,” he argues. “And if I can’t protect them, what kind of man am I?” Because I am a dork, I did the math on my own and he is right. For once.
Now he wants Don to tap her phone. “Tap her phone?! I can’t tap a phone!” Heh. But Bill walks all over him just like he walks all over his wives.
Summer school registration. Summer School Lady, Julie, apologizes for what happened at the Mother of the Year thing. “We were rooting for you,” she tells Barb. And I really thought she was being sincere here. But then she asks if Barb was planning on getting back to teaching any time soon. Barb falters a little and says that she hoped to. Julie just makes an “hmm” noise and smiles awkwardly at Barb, without saying anything. Barb is concerned.
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