What a shock! The finale I imagined, with Kat triumphantly screeching "Happy House Happy House" to raucous public approval and a confetti of cookies, has been spirited away. Mohamed's eviction was surely no surprise; his disturbingly articulate farts alone, sounding a desperate appeal on behalf of his struggling and overloaded gut, threatened to broadcast smell as well as sound into our own homes and were bound to make him generally unpopular.
But Kat? Poor, unsuspecting, innocent Kat chucked out of Big Brother's Happy House? Kat, already broken-hearted by Mo's eviction, summarily dismissed in a crumpled dressing gown, no makeup and her hair a mess from having been pinned under a comedy Afro wig? Poor, kind-hearted, child-like, intensely irritating Kat? It was so tragic I couldn't help but laugh aloud. The other housemates reacted to Tuesday's surprise double eviction as a tight-knit family might to a beloved son being called up by the army, suddenly to war. That, too, was horribly amusing. Rex, true to form, managed a sly smirk amidst the lamenting.
So who are we left with as this tedious but strangely compelling pornography of personality struggles towards its inevitably unsatisfying climax? What justification might there be for each of the leftover housemates winning a fairly large sum of money for Channel 4 in phone votes?
Rex, the unfortunately named and strangely coiffed executive chef, deserves to win for the entertainment provided by the horrific initial shock and days of emotional torture he endured when his temperamental and demanding girlfriend arrived in the house to put the lie to all his idealistic bragging about her.
Darnell, the miserable albino black guy, deserves to win to give him a chance to manage to turn his success into a perceived failure. Dude, it would suck that he won just because people thought that the prize and the attention would improve his life. His life sucks so bad that people might think he is actually happy and stop listening to him complain about his miserable life, which sucks.
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