Subway then offered to sponsor the next season on AI and since Kenneth Lay had dropped his plans to appear as a guest judge, apparently Jared is in for a â€śSongs about Food and Dietsâ€ť theme night. Layâ€™s former company was going to sponsor the show, but the producers drew the line at a â€śHow to Rip Off Shareholders and Avoid Convictionâ€ť theme night. As they explained, it was a gesture of respect to Justice Scalia, who apparently has a deep understanding of the history of gestures in the Catholic Church. It would have been fun, Katherine Harris was going to be in charge of counting the votes through Dieblod Cellular.
After Shakiraâ€™s security cleared a group of old men in trench coats from the studio audience, the show then did the AI non-musical chairs routine. Can you imagine how long it takes them in rehearsals to get them in place for that? All these screams of â€śWhat do you mean you want me to sit near Lisa and Bucky?â€ť
I can just see everyone Wednesday night pushing to squeeze into that front row with Taylor and Mandisa.
â€śHey, I was about to sit next to Taylor! You took my seat.â€ť
â€śWell, kiss mah grits, Itâ€™s mah seat now.â€ť
â€śWhat if, what if, what if.â€ť
â€śYou know, I donâ€™t really belong up here next to Bucky, but do you see me complaining.â€ť
â€śYeah, well did you watch the playback video?â€ť
â€śCome on guys, canâ€™t we just work it out, unh ?â€ť
â€śLook Paris, itâ€™s okay that you did Beyonce, but donâ€™t get any ideas about doing Shakira, at least not the way Shakira did Shakira tonight."
â€śIf I could just tell Kelly Clarkson that because of you, Iâ€™m sitting up here by myself.â€ť
This week, the show had two points to make in the eliminations. First, they showed America how mysteriously popular Bucky Covington really is. My theory is that he doesnâ€™t just have one identical twin. Well, if you are one of the twelve people who saw that move with Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlett Joahannson called The Island, you might get where I'm going here? Iâ€™m pretty sure there are forty thousand Bucky Covington clones in a holler somewhere in the Carolinas waiting to be cast as extras in Dukes of Hazzard 2 where Daisy Duke pretends to be a dancer at Nick Lacheyâ€™s next bachelor party. In the meantime, every Tuesday night the clones dutifully dial a Bucky 866 number on their cell phones while having conversations with one another that no one north of Durham can understand.