I got a call from Elvis after the results show aired on the west coast. First, he wasn’t happy about the way Priscilla looked.
EP: This is what happens when you let your daughter marry Michael Jackson.
CL: It must have been a pretty painful period for you.
EP: Uh ah hunh.
CL: You know, I never expected to get a cell phone call from you, but I’ve got to say I like that “Little Less Conversation” ring tone.
The king seemed to ignore my comment as he was on a little bit of a roll.
EP And that Simon reminds me of Colonel Tom, he’s always telling everyone what they should do, what they shouldn’t do.
CL: Simon Cowell knows talent though. That Robson and Jerome were like the British Elvis.
EP: And who the heck let Tommy Mottola into my house? Memphis Mafia is one thing, but….
CL: He was cleared by Sony before they promoted him…Elvis, what’s your point here? I’ve got a blog to write.
EP: Those leeches use my house and my memory, but does anyone ask me, the real American Idol?
CL: Ask you what?
EP: Who should win...I had to spend all Tuesday night dialing Katharine McPhee’s 866 number on my cell phone.
CL: You voted for Katharine?
EP: Sure, ever seen pictures of Priscilla or Ginger Alden in dark wigs? (he sends me photos on my cell)
CL: But Elvis, it’s supposed to be a singing contest. It’s all about the music.
EP: Yeah, right and “Change of Habit” should have been best picture. Speaking of which, Mary Tyler Moore was kind of hot, even as a nun.
Elvis sends me a photo and I cross myself.
CL: It was better than "Blue Hawaii" and "GI Blues."
I hear the sound of a 45 Magnum and what sounds like an exploding television in the background.
EP: You know, I thought I had an in on the voting anyway. Ginger and Teri Hatcher were both on "Capitol" when Ryan Seacrest was in middle school, but then Ryan went and screwed it up.
EP sends me an old film clip.
CL: Are you saying that you got Chris Daughtry eliminated?
EP: This was American Idol not American Kojak.
CL: Come on, really?
EP: I’m sure the NSA has the phone logs.
CL: Wow, I didn’t think of that. NSA can probably count the votes better than Dial Idol. You know, that’s kind of spooky.
Article comments
1 - Pat
LMAO, Just loved this blog article!
*Snif* yeah, Chris, there are plenty of people who still love you.
2 - chancelucky
Pat,
thanks. It always helps to know that someone read these posts and enjoyed them. Given the way last week worked out with Fuel, etc. America may have done Chris Daughtry a favor.
3 - kfc
Did anyone ever tell you that you write the most genuinely funny articles ever? I'd nominate you for one of those American Idol awards but....too late, Michael got the last one..........and, he really deserved it, as well. That was the best moment ever on TV...well, after Elvis's appearances on Ed Sullivan etc. and Clay's appearances on......American Idol...Jay Leno, SNL, Scrubs, Ed etc. etc
Now, about those boxer shorts...do they have 'Ellen' printed on the waistband? Maybe you can donate them to her for her next guest...Taylor???
Red Deer Alberta Canada
4 - chancelucky
Red Deer,
Thanks for the compliment. You know I've never looked at the waist band of my own underwear, at least not that I can remember.