Last night was the insanely over-hyped American Idol charity show. For over two months Ryan has crowed on and on about how it's going to be a star-studded spectacular, how there are going to be so many awesome celebrities appearing on the show, and that there will be a lot of great performances.
After watching the 2-hour snorefest, I have one word for Mr. Seacrest: Baloney.
I feel sorry for the poor saps in the audience who thought they would see performers like Celine Dion, Josh Groban, and Annie Lennox live on stage, the joke was on them. Most of the "real" artists performed in the Walt Disney Music Hall (not where the judges and contestants were). Hell, Celine's "historical performance" with Elvis was one big joke. Oooooh, behold the magic of blue-screen technology! Please. Twenty years ago Paula Abdul danced with a cartoon cat. This was more or less the same thing.
Not even the past Idol winners made an appearance in the same locale as the judges. Apparently still allergic to anything connected with the show, Kelly Clarkson stayed far away from the judges, performing instead at the Mouse's music house. Carrie Underwood wasn't even there, submitting instead a music video featuring her surrounded by starving African children.
At least the folks in the AI theater got to see Tenacious D. Granted, it was just Jack Black on stage while Kyle Glass sat in the audience, pretending to be overwhelmed with awe as Jack sang "Kiss From a Rose." I admit that I was laughing heartily during that skit. Loved the Seal cameo. Who was the chick next to him? She didn't look like his wife.
That being said, most of the performances were really good. The guys from Earth, Wind, and Fire must be 65 years old, but they move around like they're in their thirties. Kelly was wonderful, and it was very cool having the legendary Jeff Beck playing guitar for her. Annie Lennox has still got it after all these years. I enjoyed her soulful performance of "Bridge Over Troubled Water." She's starting to look like Dame Helen Mirren though. And oh my, Josh Groban puts Clay Aiken, Michael Buble, and especially Il Divo, to shame. He is so freaking awesome. Speaking of Il Divo, does that name translate to, "Creepy-looking guys" in English? Because it was like getting eye-boinked by four Constantines at once. Yurgh.