Another week, another audition episode. At least it's only an hour, because we get a new episode of House! Yay!
This Tuesday, the American Idol train takes us to Birmingham, Alabama, and the show spends the first five minutes reminding us that two winners (Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks) and one runner-up (Bo Bice) have come from this city. Yes, we get it - the judges are supposed to have high expectations from the 11,000 hopefuls in Birmingham. This week there are no guest judges, which is nice but it makes me wonder on the fairness among the cities. After all, if Minneapolis had one extra judge but Memphis didn't, does it mean that those in Minneapolis had a better chance of getting in? I'm not quite sure. Anyway, I digress.
We are first introduced to a curly-haired blonde shimmying seductively by her seat. She is Erica Skye, and decides to sing "Unchained Melody" because she heard it was Simon's favorite song and felt it would warm him up to her. That only works if you actually know how to sing. Erica's sultry hotness does not make up for the fact that she's tone deaf. She drew out the song, and it was very boring. Simon called it "neverending torture," and Erica started singing another song in case it might be better. No chance, my dear.
Katie Bernard has a Minnie Mouse-like speaking voice. She reminded me a whole lot of Paris Bennett, except that Katie is white and an adult. However, like Paris, Katie has a powerful singing voice and is actually not too bad. Randy gives her a reluctant yes while Simon says no. Paula is on the fence, claiming that she thinks as a newlywed Katie should stay with her new hubby. Katie brings hubby in to convince Paula that he'll be just fine with her flying out to California. It's only after Katie mentions that Simon is hating the whole scenario that Paula decides to let her through.
When Diana Walker entered the room, I could see Simon looking her up and down with disapproving eyes. Diana is large and in charge, wearing some sort of mesh pink halter top that matched the one pink mesh glove on her right hand, prompting Randy to ask if it was a Michael Jackson thing. The ex-cheerleader(!) sang "Saving All My Love for You," and was horrible. The judges told her no.
Okay, now we come to the Freak of the Week. Margaret walks in wearing the most frightening, godawful outfit I've seen in a long time. It was a bright yellow, fuzzy coat and a matching bright yellow, fuzzy hat. It's no wonder Ryan dubbed her Big Bird. Margaret coos in an irritating fake cutesy voice that she wore the outfit especially for Simon. That and for her 15 seconds of fame on TV. Lady, my Bullshit Detector is going haywire. You are not there to actually audition.
Article comments
1 - Kaonashi
For the record, it appears that my article was censored and the link to FUPA was deleted. Here is the link.
2 - Kaonashi
Ah, I just received word from one of the editors. It was just an editing mistake. You will all know what FUPA means shortly ;)