Good Lord, this must be the worst Top 12 ever in the history of this show. I understand that it's a bigger stage and bigger audience, and the nerves are kicking in but come on — two people forgetting the lyrics? That's just pathetic.
By the way, from now on I shall refer to them only by their first names since you all should know who they are by now. Not to mention that I'm lazy to type their full names.
It appears that the Top 12 have had some makeovers. Jordin's curls are neater. Phil isn't hiding his bald head under a cap. Blake and Chris aren't wearing t-shirts. I'm dismayed however, to see Chris S. without his trademark glasses. Dude, keep the specs. Even Simon says so. Sanjaya has a horrifying makeover, sporting a hairstyle that I haven't seen since Little Orphan Annie.
My favorite part of the evening was the banter between Ryan and Simon. It was so awesome. Before Melinda's performance, she complains to Ryan that her high heels are killing her. Ryan asks Simon for advice on what to do about the heels, to which Simon says something like, "You should know, Ryan." Here's how the rest of the conversation went:
Ryan: Stay out of my closet.
Simon: Come out!
Ryan: (wearing a fake smile, to camera) We're friends.
This week the contestants met with Diana Ross, who gave them individual guidance as they sang one of her tunes for her. Man, that must have been intimidating. For the most part, Ms. Ross gave each person some real advice, and not just spewed meaningless crap like Paula usually does. Incidentally, Ms. Ross is performing during the results show to promote her tour.
I'm going to give each contestant a letter grade, but this time I'll start with the lowest group.
Sanjaya should be happy right now, because Brandon has just saved his neck this week. It's bad enough that he does a boring rendition of "You Can't Hurry Love," with a squeaky high note in the middle, but he forgot the damn words. Brandon literally stopped singing for about three seconds. What the hell, dude? Everyone and their mother knows this fucking song. Even Phil Collins covered this at one point. How can you forget the words? Brandon is so going home tonight.
It pains me to put Chris S. in this category, but he so deserves it this week. He tried to modernize "Endless Love," which is a cool idea, but he changed the song so radically that I barely recognized it. Hell, the opening sequence sounded like Coldplay's "Clocks". Simon said that he took a beautiful song and murdered it. I hope this teaches Chris not to mess with the classics.