At CTU, just how does Chloe have a timer up for the missiles? How does she know when they'll fire? Anyone? Is she tapped into the Russkie sub's telemetry? And if so, how?
Jack tries to coax Rooney into killing the guard. And has some very specific medical instructions. He says "Slit his throat. Cut deep to sever the vocal chords and carotid artery." Eek. Do not try this at home, kids.
Jack says "You need to focus on the objective", but the krazy kaptions have him saying "I want you to visualize the hostile on the ground, dead." And Jack keeps calling Rooney "son."
Alas, Rooney doesn't make the old man proud. The whole throat-slitting thing doesn't go so well. It's more like a throat stabbing. But, in the end, Rooney says "My status is...he's dead."
And splash one bad guy as someone goes into the drink. Did they bother dragging the body up and out of the hatch? Why not just stuff him in a cabin somewhere?
While up top though, the missile hatches open. Somehow, Chloe magically knows the missiles are about to fire. She says "You have less than seven minutes." But, the krazy kaptions have her saying "You have less than four minutes." Perhaps the writers figured out later they needed the extra three minutes so all this would seem plausible.
Team Bauer is going to storm the control room. Jack tells Rooney, aka BulletCatcher, "You go first." Thanks. Rooney is to create a diversion to draw the baddies out of the control room. Perhaps he'll stage a midget-wrestling event.
Wha...? Bierko is talking about sending a missile to San Francisco! Apparently, he's not content to hit LA?
Jack has yet another visual. Then, Crawly Jack goes slithering down the floor. Again, Chloe the Sorceress knows the missiles are armed.
Jack hides behind a console, and when the baddie is near, Jack leaps up and knifes the baddies. Eew. Too bad Junior, I mean, Rooney isn't around to see how it should be done.
Now, Jack goes Bierko hunting. Rooney's diversion was to tip a tool cart over. Bierko takes two others to investigate. There is a fight. Jack wings Bierko. He shoots a steam pipe. (Are there really hot steam pipes like this on modern subs?) Jack steams one baddie to death, and then break's Bierko's neck with his thighs, taking his inspiration from Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp.
All this time, Henderson has been busy trying to disarm the missiles. And he succeeds. Oh, so that was why Buckaroo was along. But just how does Henderson know how to do this?
Article comments
1 - Victor Lana
Nice job, JEff. I was very disappointed in the last 15 minutes. It seemed the writers were trying to go out with a Big Bang. It seemed forced and contrived. Jack(the real Jack) would never have gone in to answer that phone. It just was a poor ending in my opinion.
2 - Mary K. Williams
Please let us devote no more thought as to what Martha must have done
Jack promised Martha that she wouldn't have to swallow. Brave girl, that Martha.
3 - Mary K. Williams
This was wonderful Jeff - you outdid yourself!
Bravo Mr. Kouba!
4 - Jeff
Thanks, Mary! It's been a fun ride.
5 - Paul
False alarm. I went into that warehouse and got jumped by a squad of angry viewers. I told them I had nothing to do with the show, that the writers were in the next warehouse over.
I managed to catch the last hour from my hotel room in Marina Del Rey, which apparently was far enough from the carnage that I missed most of it--except for a bloodied tee shirt from the Bonzai Institute that washed up on the beach the next day.
I'm glad the writers didn't forget about the Chinese. They have long memories. It certainly sets up an interesting possibility for next season: namely, that Jack won't experience Day Six in Los Angeles. Then again, a la Mandy's handshaking assassination attempt on David Palmer, he may start the day simply showing up for work at CTU and no mention at all will be made of his jacknapping until a passing reference in about hour eight.
As with the end of last season, I'm really questioning whether I'll bother with next season. Maybe I'll just read Jeff's rants and comment on them instead.
So, there just one thing left to say, I guess:
Where's Wayne?