Our intrepid guest critic, Paul Foth, was in Los Angeles when the finale aired. Surrounded by graphic violence, he used his discretion to poke his head above the table in his hotel room and look out the window. Amid the missile explosions, clouds of nerve gas, hails of bullets, gales of emotive outbursts, tornadoes of plot points, and tsunamis of continuity errors, he seemed to sense a dichotomy. The people in the streets--those who weren't terrorists or being killed by terrorists, anyway--seemed to be saying, "Jack Bauer, you fight your war. We'll go about our lives."
Paul was about to give me his review, but he ducked inside an abandoned warehouse to take a call from his Auntie Mildred. And, I haven't seen him since. Not sure where he went. Paul? Paul? I'll go check the perimeter...
Number of times Jack says "Now!": 38
Number of times Jack says "No!": 8
Number of times a "protocol" is mentioned: 46
Number of times someone says a variation of "Go!": 36
Number of moles: 5
Final Approximate Body Count: 109 (plus three rats, plus one human nerve gas guinea pig, plus 11 in the mall food court (and no, not from food poisoning), plus one security camera, plus 56 in CTU, plus whoever else was on the Russian sub)
Article comments
1 - Victor Lana
Nice job, JEff. I was very disappointed in the last 15 minutes. It seemed the writers were trying to go out with a Big Bang. It seemed forced and contrived. Jack(the real Jack) would never have gone in to answer that phone. It just was a poor ending in my opinion.
2 - Mary K. Williams
Please let us devote no more thought as to what Martha must have done
Jack promised Martha that she wouldn't have to swallow. Brave girl, that Martha.
3 - Mary K. Williams
This was wonderful Jeff - you outdid yourself!
Bravo Mr. Kouba!
4 - Jeff
Thanks, Mary! It's been a fun ride.
5 - Paul
False alarm. I went into that warehouse and got jumped by a squad of angry viewers. I told them I had nothing to do with the show, that the writers were in the next warehouse over.
I managed to catch the last hour from my hotel room in Marina Del Rey, which apparently was far enough from the carnage that I missed most of it--except for a bloodied tee shirt from the Bonzai Institute that washed up on the beach the next day.
I'm glad the writers didn't forget about the Chinese. They have long memories. It certainly sets up an interesting possibility for next season: namely, that Jack won't experience Day Six in Los Angeles. Then again, a la Mandy's handshaking assassination attempt on David Palmer, he may start the day simply showing up for work at CTU and no mention at all will be made of his jacknapping until a passing reference in about hour eight.
As with the end of last season, I'm really questioning whether I'll bother with next season. Maybe I'll just read Jeff's rants and comment on them instead.
So, there just one thing left to say, I guess:
Where's Wayne?