For a comprehensive recap of last night’s episode, mosey on down to Don Jr.’s official blog. There you’ll find a blow-by-blow account of the show's major talking points (which I’m sure will be updated soon). Two hours of Trump boot camp is much too much to summarize here. Besides, it’s more fun to focus on all the back stabbing and mud-slinging that happens on the show.
If pressed to characterize what went down last night, I’d call it “Battle of the Airheads.” In this corner, for the women, presenting Niki Taylor: supermodel, crash victim, and “free and easy” PM. Niki is the kind of gal who doesn’t mind flouting her lack of mental prowess. While traveling with fellow model Hope to prepare print materials for the task – creating an outdoor camping experience to best showcase the RV and camping products of corporate behemoth Camping World — Niki confessed she wasn’t sure if they were living in the 20th or 21st century.
“Centuries I remember as 100 because there’s 100 cents on the dollar,” Hope suggested as some kind of mental trigger. I still don’t understand the connection between centuries and dollars.
And in this corner, for the men, it’s PM Gary Busey: recovering addict, force of nature, and likewise a crash victim. Only in this case, the man landed on his head and hasn’t been the same since.
“I am focused like you can’t believe,“ Gary emphasized at the show’s outset. Oh yeah? Well then why without fail does every member of his team regard him as an unfocused buffoon? Is it jealousy over his Trump-proclaimed “genius” or disdain over having to carry an extra load?
For the record, despite Gary’s inadequacies and glaring inability to lead, the men pulled off a stunning victory. Say what you will about the power of positive thinking, John’s pandering country ballad, and lucky breaks (that’s “Living Under Correct Knowledge Yearly,” according to Gary), but if the men had lost, they would have sent Gary's head to the chopping block. Yes, Jose gives a bad name to lazy, overhyped sports personalities — sitting on his duff, reading a magazine, and taking a nap throughout the task – but the team convinced Gary to accept the PM slot because, let’s face it, they want him gone.