To Renee Zellweger

This weekend I caught a short about the making of the new Dreamworks picture "Shark Tale." I like many of the kids movies that have come out in the last 5 years or so and I wouldn't mind seeing this one. Even though the movie looks kind of cool, I was incredibly annoyed by something while I was watching the whole "making of" thing on HBO. They started talking to Renee Zellweger. I used to really like her. I thought she was really cute in Jerry McGuire. I thought she was serviceable in many of the other movies that she has been in.

But at some point in her career, she became the most obnoxiously stuck up, self-important actress on the face of the earth. Everything she does now is "SO IMPORTANT" and "SO MEANINGFUL."

"The emotional concept of engaging my character in key moments of self-realization in terms of my life experiences was a real awakening as if someone saved me from drowning and I let them enter my soul and it burned me up as if I was actually there and now I understand as I was able to portray and really capture the feeling of this character."

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

SHUT THE EFF UP YOU CONCEITED HOLLYWOOD WENCH!

Ok, I feel much better. But seriously, all you people need to remember where you came from. You shared the screen with Luke Perry in "8 Seconds." You were in "Empire Records" which I enjoyed, but at the same time was definitely not good. Nobody remembers you in "Reality Bites." OK? There was life before "Jerry McGuire" and you weren't always so cool. So get off of that high horse because your excrement smells just as foul as mine does.

In case you need a reminder, here is the "work" you had before Tom Cruise and Cameron Crow gave you a real career.

1. Whole Wide World, The (1996) .... Novalyne Price
2. Low Life, The (1995) .... Poet
3. Empire Records (1995) .... Gina
4. Shake, Rattle and Rock! (1994) (TV) .... Susan
5. Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (1994)
6. Love and a .45 (1994) .... Starlene Cheatham
7. 8 Seconds (1994) .... Buckle Bunny
8. Reality Bites (1994) (as Renee Zellweger) .... Tami
9. My Boyfriend's Back (1993) (uncredited)
10. Murder in the Heartland (1993) (TV) .... Barbara
11. Taste for Killing, A (1992) (TV) .... Mary Lou

(This first appeared at www.filteringcraig.com)

Article Author: Craig Lyndall

Craig Lyndall writes about all things related to Cleveland sports for WaitingForNextYear.com.

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