Norwegian Darkhorse Makes The Racehorses and Donkeys Look Like Jackasses
By: The Raging Critic
Giddee-up America! It’s time to put on the best hat you can find because the singing horserace we know as World Idol has made its first big lap. As I watched the anxiously anticipated show, I was distracted by incessant references to horses. Heck, we even have betting odds on this competition. It was almost as if I were Catherine the Great and they were lowering the world on top of me! EEEEEEEEEW! Then again, now there's a thought...... hmmmmmmm....... NAH! Just kidding, that's gross!
Our first glimpse of the big event was far from pleasant. We were shell-shocked to see that the two hosts from the UK, Ant and Dec, look like two inbreeds sucked straight out of the darkest shed at Churchill Downs. Huge foreheads and goofy grins were all I could make out of them. If only their accents were not so damned thick! As they greeted America with their very first hello, they warned us not to bother trying to remember which one was Ant and which one was Dec. Don’t worry guys! America is trying to forget you as we still try to figure out what brainchild decided to kick our beloved stallion, Ryan Seacrest, to the curb! SIGH!
GIVE US SOME GOOD HOSTS PEOPLE!!!!!! These guys sucked a big one.
Ant and Dec then introduce the JOODGES. In American English, that translates to “judges" folks. By now, I am so lost in their Old English language that I am expecting the knights of the round table to come out and slaughter the studio audience. Hopefully, they will start with those stupid looking Australian people in the front row wearing the Afro wigs. EEEEEEEEEK!
THE JOODGES ENTER THE JOUSTING ARENA WITH A "POLE"
Zack from Canada is first introduced. Being an American myself, I could not help but wonder, what this chap is all aboot eh? His head did not seem to flap back and forth like I had always imagined Canadians to resemble. Oh well. If we lose, it’s all Canada’s fault.
Next up was Kuba. I got really excited because I though that there was going to be a delegate from Latin America. Then I realize that he is the joodge from Poland and once again, the latin people get shafted. WORLD - meet Forrest Gompolski - the most annoying human being in history aside from "Drop Dead Fred."
Article comments
1 - Natalie Davis
And... you were right, RC. Kurt Nilson -- who was so good he made my jaw drop -- took the crown; the terrific Kelly Clarkson came in second. But there were no losers tonight. All 11 are winners (some inexplicably, to be sure). And special cheers to Pan-Arab Idol Diana Karzon, who sang like an angel.
Spousal Unit groused about Kurt, saying he was good but unoriginal. My son, a 7-year-old U2 nut, rooted for Kurt all the way because "he looks like [Lord of the Rings'] Sam!"
2 - Øyvind Da Matta
Kurt rocked! And by the way, it's Kurt NilsEn, he's not swedish you know..
3 - adam
Oh mighty and omnipotent “Raging Critic”, you’re a raving lunatic. I do not know whether you thought that your predictions and opinions regarding the World Idol performers, judges and the Canadians were witty, enthralling, or in any other way worth wasting our time with, but I think in future you should think twice if you intend on posting another such “review”.
All that you proved through your ranting was your own ignorance. Filled with its racial and social stereotypes, not-even-remotely-funny jokes and stolen material (I refer, of course, to the badly used South Park references), this “article” of yours gives new meaning to the term “waste of time”. I thoroughly regret having stumbled across this page…
Good day to you.
4 - TheRagingCritic
OH Adam! How profound you are - and serious too! Obviously, you are one of those that look toward specifics and fail to grasp the big picture.
That's okay though. I will not hold it against you.
I shall take your comments in stride. After all, if a critic cannot take criticism, then I have no business doing what I do.
All of this said, I do feel that I am entitled to a rebuttal. So here goes...
First, my reviews do not promote racial or social stereotypes. In fact, I promote the opposite. Anyone who is a regular reader of my material KNOWS that those comments are sarcastic. I am essentially poking fun at all of the people in the WORLD who judge these people on anything other than their vocal talent. As a gay man and civil rights advocate, I try to make fun of ignorance by throwing it right out on the table. That is what satirical writing is all about! In fact, I received an e-mail from America Online's Community Leadership team for fighting sterotypes and defending Ruben Studdard when race was an issue. I suppose they saw the big picture that you seem to miss.
Second, the "material" is not stolen. Part of my writing style is to import inside jokes. Some people pick up on some, whereas some people pick up on others. The "blame Canada" concept you tapped into is one that South Park loyalists will get. Why do I do this? Well, because like me, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have a message. They too use satire to exemplify the ignorance in this world. I subscribe to their political views regarding the relationship our nation has with Canada. We always blame them for everything (power outages, SARS in Toronto, and now mad cows).
Finally, although you may find my review a waste of your day, it is important to note that many others do not. You are entitled to your opinions just as I am and just as any other American is (at least for now anyway). However, my web site has become one of the top American Idol fan sites in the world. I had 30,000 hits on my website last season in only 6 weeks. This is significant because the traffic came without any advertising, spamming, or solicitation. It all came by word of mouth alone. I have received messages from some of the contestants. They have even found the humor in this. Why can't you?
So, maybe now that you have some sort of understanding of my viewpoints, it might be nice to take the cork out of your butt and relax. Life is too damned short to be so serious. The fact that you took the time to read my review in its entirety - and then even post a response - is enough for me to be satisfied. I am contempt with being a car accident while you waste your time rubbernecking!
AS ALWAYS - with no apologies....
-The Raging "Lunatic" Critic
5 - "profound" adam
Hey hey, profound little me again...
Thankyou for taking the time to respond to my comments. While my view regarding the value of your article has not changed entirely, I must admit that I got you wrong and that you do deserve an apology for my unsuitably “serious” attitude towards a laid-back article. I am sorry that I judged you prematurely… perhaps it may have paid to read some of your other material, something I now intend on doing, this time taking into account your satirical sense of humour.
In spite, however, of your explanations of what I labelled the “racial and stereotypes” included in your article, I must still say that there are very few ways that some of your comments can be interpreted, and while they may not have been intended to be insulting or derogatory, that is simply the way that they come across.
Finally, I suppose that the 30, 000 people who visited your site in the last 6 weeks can’t all have been wrong, so please don’t take too much notice of the opinion of a tired 15 year old. Maybe I’ll have a good nap before reading more of your articles…
In any case, keep on fighting the good fight, and I hope to read more from you.
Good day to you.
6 - DrMedo
Woow thank u so much , Iam Jordanian , and I know it was weird that Diana Karazon sang in arabic , but believe me if every one sang in his language that would be better for the competition , no worries,, I have good news for u to know what Diana was singing in the world idol...
the lyrics in arabic , and full translation to english language , with also third style which is the words in arabic but in latin characters in order to follow her while she is singing are available in Diana fans' new forum with all her songs and pictures , and there is also an english section for the members who don't speak arabic
just follow this link
http://diana-karazon.net/board/index.php